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A Dissenting View: On Our "Superhero Saviors" ... Wednesday, 24-May-2000 02:27:37
A Dissenting View: On Our "Superhero Saviors" ... by Bernice Teschmacher, special to The Stranger Know what’s wrong? I can dress up in tights and a cape, find some guy I don’t like, and hit him in the head with a baseball bat with a nail in it. And when the cops arrive, I can tell them that he’s a supervillain and he was looking funny at a storefront, and that they should thank me for stopping him. And if my name’s Fin Fang Foom, or Exile, or Frog-man, you know what? They will. No Miranda. No chain of evidence. No warning first shot. Because I’m a big-ass superhero, and I can do what the f--- I like. You see, if I’m wearing my underwear on the outside of my pants, I’ve got the 1941 Special Powers for Special Powers Act on my side. Based on the much older Special Ordinances of New Parodiopolis legislation, which dates back well over a century, this bill was bullied through Congress to give retrospective authority to vigilante "heroes" taking illegal action against Nazi bundists – or anybody they wanted to accuse of being Nazi bundists. And the Special Powers Act has never been revoked, because it’s just too damned convenient for a government that sometimes needs to ride roughshod over human rights and get the job done in any way that it sees fit. Some interesting facts and figures: property insurance and personal liability indemnity cost triple in Parodiopolis, or Gothametropolis York, what they do in any other city in the world. During the last two years, fully 15% of the city of Parodiopolis has been damaged in various superhero squabbles, which amounts to an estimated eleven BILLION dollars in repairs, a fair bit of which has come from the public purse. That’s schools and homeless shelters and free clinics and fuel for old folks, all slashed from the civic budget because Donar or Banjoooo got up on the wrong side of bed that day. Sure, there’s always a well-publicised check towards the damage handed over by Bautista Enterprises, courtesy of their shiny corporate icon, NTU-150. But the cameras never show the wards full of bystander casualties, the boarded-up and ruined family businesses, the people who now live in terror of walking down their own neighborhood streets, because even now, at the dawn of the millennium, it’s still considered okay to sort out economic and political differences with death rays and razor-briefs rather than negotiation and diplomacy. And there’s no check in the world that's going to compensate those who find that their loved ones have been offed by some shadow-hugging vigilante. Without trial, without proof, without remorse, supposed criminals are not only illegally harassed, injured, and intimidated, but sometimes murdered as well. We’re all supposed to cheer and thank the psychopathic masked men for cleaning up the streets. And hell, everybody’s a little relieved when the local child rapist or protection artist is sent to the great beyond, right? And these vigilantes could never ever be wrong, never target an innocent by mistake, never kill anyone who might reform given a decent break and become a new person, for sure. Execution’s a real easy option, and there’s no troublesome appeals against wrongful arrest or need to try and change someone for the better that way, is there? It’s about checks and balances, folks. Cops are accountable, the judiciary’s accountable, hell, even the President’s accountable, according to the Constitution. But the masks? They’re wild cards, accountable to nobody except perhaps themselves. The Lair Legion keeps ‘em in check? Sure, that’s why they’ve done nothing to bring serial-killer Messenger back into custody, why Baron Zemo can still try and blow up the planet whenever he feels like it, why Mayor Porter can date a known genetic terrorist without fear of her being arrested. That’s why even Seattle's local hero and so-called "favorite son", the wired wonder known as CrazySugarFreakBoy!, can arrange for the release of half a dozen incarcerated criminals for a supposed reform squad, courtesy of his corporate sponsors at Odyssey Opportunities, and nobody asks why a perpetual college student barely old enough to drink is the ideal guy to set straight a band of metahuman lawbreakers. Checks and balances on super-folks? There ain't none. That’s what’s wrong. A couple of hundred people with the power to vaporise cities, doing what the hell they like and treating the world like their own personal boxing ring, acting like big kids scrapping in the sandbox, and then expecting us to grovel at their feet and THANK them for keeping the damage to an eight-figure sum. A system which promotes this kind of behavior for political expedience, rather than shooting their asses into jail for violating basic human rights. A world where somebody’s judged, not on the basis of their intellect, or achievement, or goodness, but on how many tons they can bench-press and how sharp their razor-claws are. It’s time for a change. _____ For more stories like this, visit The Stranger online, at http://www.thestranger.com/ for the news that the "established press" won't print. by Bernice Teschmacher, special to The Stranger |
| A Dissenting View: On Our "Superhero Saviors" ... (by Bernice Teschmacher, special to The Stranger) (24-May-2000 02:27:37) |
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