“Isn’t this Dorko’s job?” complained Kerry Shepherdson. The rough piece of driftwood she was forced to use as a seat wasn’t improving her disposition. Harlagaz had offered to take its place, but their lecturer wouldn’t allow it.

    “Visionary is concerned with other matters at the moment. He asked if I wouldn’t mind debriefing you,” Hatman replied. He stood before the assembled Juniors on the beach of Lemuria. Not an ideal classroom setting, but with the dimensional storms surrounding the island at the present, it would have to do.

    “Well, let’s get it over with then. Tell us we should have stayed home. Tell us we screwed up. Then you can tell us how we saved the day,” fumed the Probability Arsonist.

    “Lighten up a bit Kerry,” Fashion Accessory whispered to her friend. “He’d be kinda cute if he redesigned his costume. Maybe a backpack and some fingerless gloves…”

    “I’m not here to yell at you. I’m here to help you review what happened. Harlagaz?” Hatman motioned in response to the demi-hemi-God of Thunder’s raised hand.

    “Whilst there be a test on this? For I doth fear mine notepad wast lost in yon meganuclear blast. Verily.”

    “Please begin the debriefing, sir,” woofed Glory. Hatman found himself wishing he was closer to getting his Hatility Belt back*; if he had it with him his OPS Translator cap wouldn’t be sitting at home where he couldn’t get it. As it was he had an idea of what Glory was trying to say, so he decided to try his luck.

    [*Author’s note: Working on it]

    “I agree Glory. Let’s get on with the debriefing. If it goes well, then there won’t be a test,” he promised. The Juniors straightened up on their driftwood.

    “As I understand things, you disobeyed Hallie’s orders to remain in your classroom, misled an alien bounty hunter to highjack his ship, and then delivered a nuclear payload onto one of the Fairly Great Old Ones, K’Martu. Does that sound accurate?” summed up Hatman.

    “It kind of lacks punch when you state it that way,” commented Hacker Nine.

    “And you left out the part where Kerry destroyed D’Leyh,” added Ham-Boy.

    “That was awesome,” sighed Kerry contentedly.

    “We did all of that. But wouldn’t you have done the same?” challenged Samantha.

    “No, I wouldn’t have,” Hatman sternly replied.

    “I don’t read those childish comic books that you and CrazySugarFreakBoy! insist upon perusing, but it is my understanding that heroes aren’t supposed to sit safely while people are in trouble. Especially when it’s their friends,” Fashion Accessory argued. There were some nods of agreement from the rest of the group, though Glory tried to make a point about the chain of command that nobody understood.

    “You goeth girl,” supported Harlagaz.

    “I’m not going to dispute that your team had some impressive results here today, Samantha. In fact, I’m not even that upset that you disobeyed Hallie to rescue Kerry. If any of my teammates in the Lair Legion were being held against their will I’d move heaven and earth to save them.” Hatman paused for a moment.

    “So, we did what you would have done? That’s a good thing, right?” asked Ham-Boy.

    “I have a feeling there’s a ‘but’ coming,” cautioned Hacker Nine.

    “You’d be right, Zach. While your hearts were in the right place, you need to consider the consequences of your actions,” explained Hatman.

    “But we saved the day!” shouted Kerry. “That’s what heroes are supposed to do!”

    “Let’s start near the beginning. Zach, you went snooping around the computer systems of that alien armada, right?" Zach gulped. He didn’t think he’d get singled out first.

    “Umm, yeah. We needed information,” he responded.

    “Okay. What if somebody on one of those ships detected your hacking? Sir Mumphrey put a good scare into the leaders of the armada, but if they discovered one of us rooting around in their databanks they might decide to attack in retaliation to what they would consider hostile actions from us. Do you think that we could repel an invasion fleet that size?” Hatman waited for Zach’s answer, but Harlagaz interrupted.

    “There art no threat that the mighty assemblage of Middlegard’s champions could not give stay!” he boasted.

    “And defeat the Fairly Great Old Ones at the same time? And rescue the inhabitants of Lemuria?” Harlagaz considered this.

    “Mayhap if they formed a line?”

    “The answer is not likely. It’s possible that we could withstand both threats, but not without a lot of destruction and loss of life. And honestly? I doubt that we could have stopped both. I’m not saying that action you took was wrong Zach, just consider what could happen.” Hacker Nine nodded his head in understanding.

    “Next on our agenda is Squibb. You highjacked his ship and blatantly lied to him to get his cooperation,” said Hatman. Samantha quickly rose from her seat to defend herself.

    “That bounty hunter was a total creep! He got what he deserved!” she shouted.

    “And what were you planning on doing with him after he served your purposes and discovered that there was no treasure waiting for him?”

    Samantha shrugged her shoulders as she sat back down. “I dunno, we figured Vizh could pay him off. Or Harlagaz could just pound him I guess.”

    “I liketh that option,” beamed the Donarson.

    “I’ve gotten the impression over time from you all that you take Visionary for granted.” Glory woofed her displeasure at being lumped into that statement. “Except for Glory.” Glory lay back down in the sand. “He’s not always going to be there to clean up your messes.”

    “So you’re saying we might as well enjoy it now?” asked Kerry, absentmindedly playing with her lighter.

    “No, I’m saying that I don’t like the way you expect Visionary to take care of you. That’s taking advantage, because he would do it gladly, over and over again. You’re like family to him,” said Hatman. He hoped he was getting through; he hadn’t come to really appreciate his parents until after he moved to the Lair Mansion, so he was hoping that he could get the Juniors to skip a couple of years in that regard.

    “Really? Wow. I thought he just put up with us because Lisa told him to,” said Ham-Boy.

    “Nah, it’s cause he’s hoping to score with my sister I’ll bet,” Kerry disagreed.

    “Anyway, we can discuss Visionary later. That’s not what we’re here for. Samantha, let’s leave the issue of personal honour aside for a moment. What if Squibb turned out to be a legitimate threat once you double-crossed him? Or turns out to be, for that matter? It would appear that he doesn’t have much in the way of resources, but it’s possible he might just happen to have a powerful older brother who has to avenge his family’s honour. It doesn’t sound very likely, but we are in the Parodyverse here.” Hatman sat down on a large tree trunk while the Junior Lair Legion pondered that.

    The Juniors were forced to acknowledge that possibility. They knew that anything’s possible in the Parodyverse, and the more unlikely the more likely to happen.v
    “Again, given the resources you had at your disposal and the situation I’m not saying you necessarily did the wrong thing, but I want you to consider what could possibly happen,” the Capped Crusader said. “Now, the big one. The nuke.”

    “We didn’t know the Lair Legion was inside K’Martu!” exclaimed Ham-Boy. “We already apologized for that. We realize our mistake there.”

    “I don’t think you do. You had no way of knowing the Lair Legion was inside K’Martu. But you did know about them.” Hatman gestured behind him, where the citizens of Lemuria were rebuilding their homes after the invasion. “If Liu Xi hadn’t been present to do, well, whatever it was she did with the radiation, you would have Hiroshima’d this island and all it’s inhabitants. And that’s just for starters.” Hatman had left the topic of the transnuclear warhead until the end, as he felt he really needed to drive this point home.

    “Well, yeah, I guess that could’ve happened,” admitted Fashion Accessory.

    “It was the only way to stop him!” piped up Kerry in anger. “You guys were getting your butts kicked and the Juniors saved the day, and that bugs the hell out of you! The mighty Lair Legion was getting squished but good until my teammates pulled your fat out of the fire! Haven’t we been learning that there is such a thing as acceptable losses? I’m not saying I wouldn’t have felt terrible for the inhabitants here, but we are talking about a handful of people secluded in their own dimension against the entire universe.”

    “Kerry, you know why we’re stranded here for the next few days, right?” prodded Hatman.

    “There’s a dimensional traffic jam or something like that, yeah,” she replied.

    “With all the dimensional instability here during the battle with K’Martu, what if the radiation had managed to transfer throughout multiple dimensions? That bomb could have contaminated multiple upon multiple worlds, killing who knows how many people.”

    The Juniors sat silently, contemplating this. Ham-Boy and Glory looked absolutely sick to their stomachs at the thought of the damage that could have been done. Samantha worried with the hem of her skirt. Harlagaz seemed lost in thought. And Kerry just sat there, her lighter held loosely in her hands, the flame no longer flickering.

    “That’s something to think about, isn’t it? Now, the converse of all this is none of those things did happen. You did save the day, and you did good. Just think before you leap, okay?”

    The Juniors all acknowledged that they would.

    “Good. Now I have to get back to seeing to the repairs to the Lemurians homes. Kerry, I think Al wanted to see you when we were done. Class dismissed.” Hatman smiled at the Juniors as they got up to leave. He really hoped that they had learned something from this experience.

    “We couldst so stopeth yon alien invaders and Fairly Old Geezers,” whispered Harlagaz to Ham-Boy.