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Hey, gang! Get ready for the newest costumed crusader to break out on the scene, as AWESOME entertainment introduces a character that's sure to become an instant classic ... HUNTINGJUSTICE DEATHMARROW!!! Friday, 12-Nov-1999 15:06:20
Yeah! Get ready for the all-out action I know you fanboys crave, as the latest superhero "bad girl" bursts onto the scene of the AWESOME comics universe, in all 57 variant covers of her first issue, "HuntingJustice DeathMarrow: Bad Ass With A License To Kick Ass!" Featuring 48 pages of full-spread pin-up posters from every Image, Top Cow, and AWESOME artist out there (which is why none of these guys can get their own books to come out on time), this pivotal first issue will also include a half-panel of story, plotted by yours truly, ROB DA MAN!!! Except, well, maybe with a little bit of help in the scripting, pacing, dialogue, and actual plotting parts themselves by Alan Moore, Jeph Loeb, and the countless other writers I had to hire on in order to make my original concept coherent enough that it would be logical, even by the loose standards of comic books. But forget all of that, 'cause who read comics for the stories, anyways? With HuntingJustice DeathMarrow, I promise you the two thing I know all fanboys crave: 1) Great art, done by ME, ROB DA MAN (which means that I draw, or at least sketch out, ALL of the major characters' faces, and my underpaid, underfed, high school-aged crew of Third World-imported artists draws the bodies to go with all the heads, as well as providing backgrounds and building and all that other unimportant junk. I mean, sure, their sense of artistic perspective might be as primitive as most pre-Renaissance Medieval murals, but give me a break - it was either that, or they got sent to the Nike factory, to stitch shoes together on the assembly line for ten cents an hour! Hey, not only does this make me a humanitarian, but I'm also saving money, big-time - and saving money is all that companies like Marvel care about, anyhow. 2) This title has instant collector's value, since it'll be the first mainstream comic cover ever to feature full-frontal nudity and hard-core penetration! Yeah! Of course, only ONE of the 57 variant covers conceals a gatefold section containing the scene, of HuntingJustice DeathMarrow totally naked and looking hot, so ffans will have to buy every last one, and THEN rip open the plastic bag to unfold the full gatefold cover within, to find the X-rated variant cover. Damn, I am good! So, this new year, when you're looking for ACTION, When you're looking for POINTLESS BLOOD AND GORE, When you're looking for a supposedly "monthly" book that comes out THREE TIMES A YEAR, When you're looking for GRATUITOUS AND BADLY-DRAWN FEMALE NUDITY, BY ARTISTS WHO HAVE OBVIOUSLY NEVER SEEN A WOMAN NAKED, When you're looking for OBVIOUS SWIPES OF KIRBY PANELS, When you're looking for THE PAPER EQUIVALENT OF DIARRHEA, Look no further than ... HUNTINGJUSTICE DEATHMARROW!!! Coming, in Y2K, from AWESOME entertainment. Rob Liefeld, your pal over at AWESOME! entertainment, producer of the best comics in the world, baby! |
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