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#47: Untold Tales of the Lair Legion: One of Our Metropoli is Missing Monday, 15-May-2000 12:48:52
#47: Untold Tales of the Lair Legion: One of Our Metropoli is Missing It was a perfect plan. Therefore it had gone wrong. Dark Thugos, Tyrant of the Sol Empire in another reality, had been exiled to the Parodyverse’s prime plane as a result of the efforts of Amazing Guy, ManMan, and Trickshot. Having lost one interplanetary empire he immediately set out to carve another. Six months later he was undisputed master of a third of the galaxy, and had permanently settled the Skree/Skunk war by conquering both of them. Minor business taken care of, Thugos then turned his thoughts towards the planet of his birth – or at least this dimension’s version of it. Earth. It would make a fine tribute to render up in destruction to his beloved Death. Or, as Death had put it, “Eew, get away from me you creep! You gross me out!” Clearly she needed further wooing, and the annihilation of five hundred million souls on Thugos’ homeworld would be a reasonable start. So Thugos had dispatched some of his followers as the Destiny Carnival to capture and neutralise the principal superheroic defenders of that backward little planet. They were to be taken to a specially prepared holding site on a distant planet where they could be interrogated, tortured, and eventually dissected in the cause of Thugos’ dominion. Given Dark Thugos’ penchant for using undead servitors it was likely to be a useful source of raw material if nothing else. A massive processing centre was prepared for the prisoners’ arrival, with fifty thousand specially trained and equipped Skree shock troops waiting alongside the best torturers in the Skunk quadrant. Colonel Destiny had been poured into humanoid form and sent with his time/space spanning carnival to acquire Earth’s defenders. Thugos had leant him one of his own personal retainers, the Suicide Blonde, to assist in his operations. And things had worked out quite well at first. Then Destiny discovered that pinning down all the Lair Legion and their associates was like trying to pen two dozen or so unruly sheep; catch one and three more had wandered off to investigate an interesting bit of grass over in the next pasture, and another of them was eating your socks. There had been an unexpected computer virus, and an improbable escape, and a half-inch high urban legend, and many other annoying things, and the long and the short of it was that the Carnival was defeated, and Destiny had to activate the failsafe which transported the whole circus halfway across the universe to the prison planet so that the heroes could be subdued by force rather than guile by those brutal enforcers waiting for them. And there the last hitch in the plan happened. What with the computer virus and the damaged equipment and the general confusion which only two dozen heroes of the Parodyverse can possibly accomplish, the transporter beam malfunctioned. In fact it overperformed. Not only was the Destiny Carnival in the old switching grounds on the border of Paradopolis taken to this alien world, but the rest of Paradopolis went with it. All of it. Six million people, lots of buildings, railways, roads and subways, some very surprised rats and cockroaches, the works. New mayor Pearson’s Porter was going to have a big day ahead of him explaining this one to the voters. Things might have got very nasty right then as Paradopolis vanished to a far-off star. After all, fifty thousand trained and battle-armoured shock troops were more than enough to decimate an huge and unprepared city. But the prison keepers had overlooked one thing. They had cleared a killing zone, a large space where the carnival would appear and could be surrounded by their devastating war machines. A city, on the other hand, is much bigger and much heavier, and when it appeared…well there was a short crunch and the Lair Legion didn’t need to bother about the torturers’ prison complex or the shock troops any more, let’s put it that way. All of which probably brings us up to date. Jack Rabbit bounded over the rooftops of Paradopolis looking for crime, making the world safer for people who felt reassured by the near presence of a man with the powers of a six foot lapine. It was his first patrol in the Big Banana, and he posed heroically between leaps as he checked his A-Z. At least the map for this city was more comprehensive than the one for Gothametropolis York, where the map-book had huge shaded areas with nothing in them except the text, “Don’t go here.” Then Jack spotted movement in the alleyway below, and the distinctive sound of a metal security shutter being wrenched off the front of a shop front. “Aha!” he called, bounding down to enforce law and order, “You malefactors will regret the day you chose to commit crime in my city!” The three lizard-men turned round to regard the newcomer with reptilian eyes and then started to hit him with their electro-tails. The Zmeki Bakery worked all night seeking to fill the bread and danish needs of the population of Paradopolis. It was rather hampered by the brown-out that took place about two in the morning, but this was hardly the first time the city’s ageing power grid had proved incapable of sustaining the TV-viewing requirements of six million people, so the bakers toiled on by torch, pleased that their somewhat old-fashioned furnaces hadn’t been replaced by those nice modern wouldn’t-be-working electric ones. Then the bakery was invaded by a horde of rank-smelling Outcasts from the sewers below the city, which had a far more disruptive effect on production. “I claim this bakery and all that’s in it in the name of… well, me!” Sgt. Snail announced as the mutated troupe of underground-dwellers poured into the building. For the record there was Dung Beetle, the Unpossible Man, the Gunsman, the Human Grenade, Demon Fish, Mole Pirate, Oaf, Man-Hamster, the Man with Two Chins, Double-Decker, Devo, and the Pantie-Man, amongst others. “Y-you can’t do this!” the foreman objected as Mole Pirate myopically stuffed his cheek pouches with croissants. “Those are for Mrs Dambridge-Harvester’s upstate silver wedding party!” “Hah!” the Man with Two Chins wobbled, “There is no upstate anymore! Now this town belongs to the Outcasts!” “I dispute that,” the Green Ninja told them, appearing without warning and decking Demon Fish and Oaf before the others could react. The martial-arts master was here to stop the Outcasts and make the world safe for bread-lovers everywhere. The telephone beside Kyle Runner’s bed only ever seemed to ring at night, waking the man who was Saint out of another troubled nightmare. “What is it?” he asked the receiver of the disconnected phone. “We have a commission for you,” Maverick’s voice crackled at the other end. It was an atypically poor line. “What do you want this time?” “We require you to locate Paradopolis, and return it to its usual location.” Saint snorted. “Well that’s pretty easy!” he answered. “I’m right here in Paradopolis as we speak, and a city ain’t going anywhere.” “Take a look out of your window, Saint,” Maverick instructed him. Saint pulled aside the blinds and looked at the cityscape and the skies above it. Suddenly the job had got a lot more complicated. So much for the preliminaries. Let’s go to a Finny’s-eye view of the situation as the big Makluan dragon (now restored to his proper size after the capture of Colonel Destiny and his equipment) soars over the kidnapped city to assess it’s brave new world. “We’re in really, really, deep doo-doo,” Foom reported. Below him the great city was mostly in darkness, the few generators still pumping power to key sites such as the Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital struggling to sustain power in the general brown-out. Three million dwellings were without water supplies, sewerage connections, or anything other than cable TV. For now most people were at home asleep, but since the alien dawn was lighting the western horizon green it was only a matter of time before the citizens noted that something was profoundly wrong. “It is kind of beautiful though, isn’t it?” Hatman pointed out, soaring alongside the Makluan in his Eagles cap. “That crystal sea that the city’s perched by, all reflecting the big pink nebulas up there, and swathes of thick tropical rainforest as far as the eye can see. Even the big volcano inland is kind of spectacular.” “There’s greater axial rotation here than at home,” NTU-150 reported, studying something digital on a device he’d attached from the groinal area of his combat suit. “Days and night about six and a half-hours long, with scorching noons and freezing midnights. Gravity about ninety percent Earth normal, and atmosphere pretty comparable except we’re missing the pollution. I’m not picking up any technology other than Paradopolis itself within two hundred miles.” “There art some strange weather systems at work here,” Donar, hemigod of thunder, added. “And I art not able to reach mine father’s realm of Ausgard from this place for the nonce.” “Fits in with what Lisa and G-Eyed said,” Finny considered. “Lisa’s summonsing and Goldeneyed’s teleportation both work fine on the planet, but can’t reach back to Earth for some reason.” “Which suggests powerful jamming technology,” Enty frowned. “But I can’t detect it yet. Mind you, it’s a big planet and it could be anywhere. “Could it be buried under the city now?” Hatty worried. “We’d better send a team into the Morshlock tunnels to investigate.” “Well we had best maketh our plans right swiftly,” opined Donar, “because ere long six million people will we wanting their breakfasteth.” “What did you do?” Pierson’s Porter demanded of the Lair Legion. “What did you people do to my city?” “Hey, it wasn’t us,” Troia 215 objected. “We’re not paying for it.” “Calm him down, Moo,” Lisa advised her diabolical sister. “PP, we’re caught up in some sort of alien plot. You know all about alien plots, right?” “I only know about the ones tinged with diabolical genius,” the last of the alien Puppeteers objected. “not the truly, abysmally stupid ones that transport my city halfway to nowhere and leave it stranded!” “We could try and spin this,” Roni Y Avis, PP’s PR man suggested. “You know, dynamic new solution to city overcrowding problem, something like that?” “Yeah, all major civic services temporarily withdrawn while we work out what planet we’re on!” snorted ManMan. “There could be a modicum of discontent when the population discover they have no food, power, water, or means of returning home,” Dr Moo considered. “I had best institute martial law. All you Lair Legion types can consider yourself under my orders,” Pierson’s Porter announced. “Hold it there, laddie,” Lisa warned, “If you think we’re becoming your personal stormtroopers so that you can oppress a frightened and desperate population…” “He is the elected representative of the people,” pointed out Cap. “If we are to endure this, the rule of democracy must endure.” “I know what the voter turnout was for his election,” scorned the first lady of the Lair Legion. “He damn near got beaten by spiffy.” “Ah, politics,” Knifey muttered. “The ideal solution to alien city-kidnap…” “Alright lady, talk!” CrazySugarFreakBoy! demanded of the captured Suicide Blonde. “How did you manage to transport our city into this really cool Secret Wars-type set-up?” “More importantly, chickie, who are you and what are you up to?” added Trickshot. The perfect blonde regarded the two heroes with a sceptically raised eyebrow. “And I should answer your inept questions because…?” The third person present in the room (to the surprise of Tricky and CSFB!) loomed forward. “Because I’m Messenger,” he declared. “Ah,” the Suicide Blonde acknowledged. “Well, since a serious player asked, I’m a servant of Dark Thugos who is taking over your planet in your absence and plans to put everybody on it to a painful and brutal death. More specifically, I am Bambi Bacall, a.k.a. the Suicide Blonde, I come from the future, and my interests are universal domination, travelling the world and killing people.” “From the future?” CSFB! puzzled. “But I thought you were G-Eyed and Exile’s cousin?” “That is correct,” the Blonde answered with a sly half-smile. “We’re all three from the future. Didn’t they know that?” Trickshot wasn’t happy. “Hold it lady! First you’re their cousin, now you’re their time-travelling cousin. Are you jerking us about?” “You don’t need me to help you be a jerk,” Suicide Blonde answered. “We were all separated as children. Goldeneyed and Exile were raised by the Order of the Observing Eye. I had a different upbringing, as befits a scion of the house of Zemo.” “A what?” the heroes chorused. “So what’s the situation on the hero front?” spiffy asked Banjoooo as the two of them met in the rubble that had been the Destiny Carnival. “Could be worse,” Banjooooo judged. “Most of us got out of the carny traps with just bumps and bruises…” “Except those of us who surrendered,” spiffy added, “who weren’t hurt at all.” “Suicide Blonde was holding Elyse hostage!” the sea monkey objected. “At least I have a girlfriend to be held hostage!” “And while you were simpering about your girlfriend HV got killed!” spiffy shouted back. “Actually I didn’t,” Hunter Victorious corrected the fern-wielder, emerging from the half-collapsed showtent. “That matter manipulator transformed me into gold, and it took a while for my tactile control of materials to work out what she’d done and reverse it, that’s all.” “Stephen! You’re OK!” spiffy beamed. First Paste Pot Pete had survived his supposedly lethal poisoning and now this. “Yep. I’m just fine,” HV answered, just before collapsing to the ground with exhaustion. “So,” Bryan Katz said, carefully avoiding Laurie Leyton’s eyes. “Yeah,.” She answered. “Sorry I got you involved in all this superhero vendetta stuff…” “No, you don’t understand,” the man who was secretly the superheroic Goldeneyed answered. “Y’see, I don’t think they were after you…” “Just go home, Bry, and leave this to the professionals,” the woman who was sometimes the superheroine Lisette suggested. “I’m gonna be needed by Lisa and the other feebs.” “But what happened back there in the Tunnel of Love…” “We can’t talk about it now, ‘kay?” Lisette said hurriedly “Look, I’ve gotta go. Superhero stuff. You understand.” “Oh yeah,” Bry answered with feeling. Laurie “Lisette” Leyton still didn’t know he was the Legionnaire Goldeneyed. This wasn’t a good time to tell her. “See you around then,” she told him, a bit plaintively. “Look, about that Tunnel of Love thing,” he blurted. “What we did… when Dr Loveray had his, um, well his Loveray focussed on us, taking away all our inhibitions and stuff…” Lisette smiled. “Good, wasn’t it?” she winked. “And here I thought you didn’t really like me.” By the time Bryan had stopped choking she’d raced off to do heroic things. “Er hi. I’m Dancer. I’m a superhero.” “Hello, cute Dancer,” Yo greeted the new probability-altering heroine on the block. “I am being Yo, a pure thought being.” “I was, er, on patrol, seeking out evildoers and stuff like that, when I noticed there was trouble here and came to help.” “Yo sees. Yo is pleased to be meeting you. Let us be doing and derring together, nice dancing person.” “What is going on here?” E-Male of the New Battlers demanded of Lisa Waltz. The first lady of the Lair Legion looked up from the maps of the city’s amenities she was examining with her sister and looked at the silver-clad leader of Paradopolis’ controversial teen team. “We have work to do. Here’s ten dollars. Go to the movies,” she told him. Lightning crackled over the electrical skin of the arrogant young hero. “Very amusing,” the junior postman snarled. “Why haven’t the New Battlers been consulted about the current crisis? In fact why aren’t we in charge, instead of the Lair Legion that caused all this?” “After all, we don’t have the LL’s record of major screw-ups,” Wormbait pointed out. “And we’re more powerful,” Thunderstroke pointed out. “And where is the breakfast table?” added Hat Kid. “They do have a point,” Dr Moo conceded. “But we can’t possibly let them take the Legion’s place in entering the Morshlock tunnels under the city. They’re too young and inexperienced.” A brief five minute argument later and the New Battlers triumphantly trooped down the nearest manhole cover into the foetid fractured sewers of the shanghaied city. “That was pretty nasty,” Lisa told Moo. “We’ve sent them to wade through waist-deep sewage for no apparent reason on a complete wild goose chase.” “Yes,” smiled Moo. “The day is looking up, isn’t it?” “Indeed it is,” the younger Waltz sister smiled. “Now, back to the plans…” Exile led Valeria to the tent where Sorceress, Cobra, Paste Pot Pete and Space Ghost were holding the remaining prisoners from the Destiny Carnival. “I, um, I need to talk to Colonel Destiny,” the energy-manipulating avenger explained. “He’s over there,” Sorceress pointed. “He should be harmless in the same power-draining cage he’d prepared for us, but watch him. There’s something odd about him. I don’t think he’s really human.” “Check,” Exile acknowledged. “Come on Valeria.” The slave girl followed her almost-boyfriend over to where the white suited, moustachioed proprietor of the disturbing carnival was waiting. Cobra watched her go. “Something is terrifying that girl,” Cobra noted to Sorceress. “I don’t know what though.” “Spaaaaaannnnkkkkkk Raaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!” came a shout from the depths of the tent. “Ah, Mirror Murderer must have woken up and tried to reform again,” Cobra noted. “Let’s go get a dustpan and brush.” “Quick, before Pete tries to glue the bits together,” urged Sorceress. Colonel Destiny watched Exile and Valeria approach him with a certain amusement. “Hello, Exile,” he acknowledged. “Hello, slave.” “Master,” gulped Valeria of Carfax. “What’s going on?” demanded Derek Foreman. “Why is Valeria convinced that she belongs to you and must obey you now?” “Why, because she does,” Colonel Destiny told him. “When this girl was prepared to become your slave she was placed under a powerful geas, to ensure she had no option but to remain with you and be obedient to you. When you traded her to Dr Loveray, that geas bound her to him. When Loveray was destroyed, I inherited his property, including the slave you had traded to him.” “But I was under some weird mind-control ray when I did that,” Exile objected, shuddering as he remembered Enormous Irma. “The geas doesn’t take any account of that,” Destiny shrugged. “Valeria is my property now, to do with as I please. If I tell her to grovel at my feet, or to eat Vasto-slime, or to couple with the learned pig, or even to kill herself or you she’ll do it because she has no choice in the matter.” “You bastard!” snarled Exile. “You’ll set her free or…” “I was thinking of selling her to the Slimy Slaver Lovetoad of Frammistat Eight,” mused the Colonel. “He’d pay well for a prime piece of flesh like Valeria here, and I’m sure he could find many amusing uses to put her to. But on the other hand, I could give her back to you.” “You could?” ventured Valeria. “Oh yes,” concluded Colonel Destiny, “For a price.” Which accounts for all our heroes but one. The mob moss who was suddenly awoken by the cold sharp edge of a knightarang at his throat was suddenly aware of the location of the missing crimefighter. “Hello, Creaseface,” the Dark Knight hissed. “You’ve upped your security arrangements since last time I visited. Nice try.” “D-d-d-dark Knight!” the crimelord acknowledged. “What do you want?” “To eliminate crime, injustice, and street mimes,” the urban legend answered fervently. “But for now I’ll settle for leaving you with a little warning. You’ll soon discover that strange times have come upon Paradopolis. It might occur to you to try and exploit those strange times for criminal gain. I am here to advise you not to attempt this, and to suggest that you discourage others from doing the same. This is because if there is any organised crime occurs as a result of our current crisis I will hold you personally accountable. Do you understand me, Creaseface?” “Yes! Yes!” gasped the gang boss. But the Dark Knight wasn’t there. The first pterodactyl raid came about dawn, and was driven off by Fin Fang Foom, Banjooooo, Trickshot, and Goldeneyed. The first panic riot started at roughly the same time and was considerably harder for Lisa, Hatman, Troia, and Cap to contain. After that things got rather difficult. “The levels of fear in the city are rising,” telepathic Tina announced unnecessarily. “How are things coming?” NTU-150 arc-welded the last of the foot thick cables into place and lifted his faceplate to wipe his brow. “I’ve managed to patch the Paradopolis power grid into that Puppeteer power source Pierson’s Porter provided. I don’t know how something the size of a tissue box is putting out enough energy to light a city but I’m not complaining. Donar and Banjooooo have managed to divert water into the city reservoirs, although the pressure depends on how fast Banjoooooo keeps swimming. Oh, and the rioters more or less stopped when Messenger and Dark Knight asked them to… for now at least.” “What about the food situation?” the filipino girl wondered. “Yo and Valeria and that new heroine seem to have taken it in hand,” Enty admitted. “Who’d have thought that Yo could somehow organise an entire city? But she says that she and Valeria have done it before.” “Jaimie, we’re talking about a team there that includes a pure thought being that can be anything he or she puts her mind to and a woman who alters probabilities every time she moves. That’s a recipe for more miracles per minute than a bible belt tent mission on sweeps week.” Enty closed down his faceplate again. “Well, I gotta go, Tina. We’ve still got sewerage, telecoms, computers to get back up. I’ve never had to fix a city before. Well, not one that I hadn’t broken.” “But how long can even you keep it going?” Tina waited until the Lair Legion’s technologist had flown off to ask. “We’re having a few security problems,” G-Eyed admitted as the exhausted heroes gathered at the Town Hall that evening (or two sunsets later, local time). “We’ve got the looting under control, thanks to what we’ll generously call a zero tolerance policy from a range or urban heroes…” “One little crisis and all kinds of guys start crawlin’ out the woodwork with masks on,” complained Trickshot. “Some guys whut tried to steal drugs from the Phantomhawk hospital got put in it by a guy called Green Ninja. And some fella names Saint stopped an armed raid on a Kwickie-Mart an’ locked the perps in a freezer until we could cut ‘em out. Frog Man saved this pregnant woman from a mutant dinosaur attack, an now there’s a poor kid named Frog Man Saviour Krzowski out there. Then there’s a Jack Rabbit, an Infrequent Aardvark, some man callin’ himself Stavanger, a Dynamite Boy, a Lynx, some bozo called Captain Astounding, more guys in trenchcoats than I can keep track of…” “It’s getting more difficult to keep people safe,” reported Hatman. “Apart from the mutant pterosaurs or whatever they are, we also have some bizarre energy-beings, giant spiders that can teleport, electric-charged Lizard Men, and so far seven plasma-bolt firing giant moths with two hundred-foot wingspans.” “Eight plasma-bolt firing giant moths with two hundred-foot wingspans,” corrected Donar happily. “They taste like chicken,” Banjooooo added. “We need a plan,” CSFB! suggested. “All the cool superteams would have one by now.” “Well, my Town Hall thinktank has come up with a shortlist of who we could blame this on,” reported Pierson’s Porter. “The consensus is that it’s probably Visionary.” “Makes sense,” admitted Lisa. “Shame Parody Island didn’t come with us when we teleported. Most of my best… equipment is stored there. And Christopher will be missing his mummy.” “We’ve got to figure that we’re on a clock here,” Fin Fang Foom frowned. “We know that Dark Thugos wanted us out of the way so he could get at Earth. We’ve got to find a means of reversing the transportation of Paradopolis in time to get home and stop him.” “And we only have enough supplies of food for around four days,” Valeria of Carfax added. “Er, Earth days that is. Once the rations run out, the city will revert to anarchy and the death-toll will be horrendous.” “Yo is thinking we can make the food to be rationing longer than that,” Yo told her. “Keep thinking that way,” Cap encouraged the pure thought being. “I’m settin’ up some dino-huntin’ parties to sort out the fresh meat supplies,” Trickshot grinned. “It’s giving the local gangs something to do.” “Yeah, after they’d worked out they couldn’t sell the dinosaurs crack,” snorted Cobra. “Porter and I have been examining the equipment Colonel Destiny used in the carnival,” Dr Moo reported. “It’s nothing like powerful enough to move a whole city. He must have had it hooked up to a power source here. A big power source.” “Probably the same source that’s blocking Goldeneyed and Lisa’s power,” considered HV. “And in Lisa’s case, that means it’s got to be a cosmic-level energy field, given the source of her summonsing abilities.” “Which is…?” spiffy wondered. “Read your files,” the recovered Hunter Victorious scolded. “It’s all there in Lair Legion: Year One. The point is we’re talking about a pretty major power source, a very advanced technology. More advanced than the Skree, anyway.” “Something they found here?” speculated ManMan. “Why else bring us to this particular world, rather than one of the more developed bits of Thugos’ empire?” “Something so powerful that Enty can’t even lock on to it,” worried spiffy. “Imagine how big an explosion he’ll cause when he finally gets his hands on it!” “We need to find that technology all the same,” Lisa decided. “We’ll have to split up. Some of us will continue to protect and run the city. Another group will conduct a surface search of this world…” “The whole of it?” objected Knifey sceptically. “You’d better get that Probability Dancer on that mission,” suggested Hatty. “And another group will check the remains of the Skree confinement post we accidentally dropped Paradopolis onto,” concluded Lisa. “In the Morshlock tunnels?” G-Eyed shuddered. “I thought you sent the New Battlers on that quest?"” “They haven’t returned,” Dr Moo reported with a villainous satisfaction. “I guess you’ll be leading from the front by going on that one yourself, glorious deputy leader?” Lisette asked nastily. The amorous advocatrix shot her junior version a venomous glare and started deploying the teams… Lisa’s Team Split, by Lisa Staying in Paradopolis, fighting off dinosaurs, fixing stiff, listening to whinges, etc. Pierson’s Porter – its his stupid city right now! Moo – I don’t know what she sees in him, the big cow DK- to keep an eye on Moo and PP. Perhaps he’ll kill them. Yo- this city only works as long as s/he believes it will Valeria – who’d have thought she had a flair for city management? Enty – someone’s got to fix it when it breaks Tina – someone’s got to fix Enty when he breaks Cap – he makes people feel better about stuff when he makes speeches Paste Pot Pete – he’s too creepy to use anywhere else Hatty – we need a good all-rounder and pterodactyl fighter Banjooooo – we need someone to get the sewers unblocked!!! Exile – because there’s something wrong with him and I don’t know what it is Checking the Morshlock tunnels for Skree crud and stuff: Me – because bloody Lisette dropped me in it!!! Lisette – because bloody Lisette dropped me in it!!! Messenger – because he knows about stuff like this Trickshot – cause he’s a good hunter G-Eyed – we might need a teleporter Sorceress – her mystic senses might pick up something useful spiffy – he so obviously doesn’t want to come Searching for this alleged power-source: Finny – I need someone I can rely on to get the thing done Donar- he’s wonderfully big and muscly and makes me wet just thinking about him!!! Space Ghost – he sometimes has a knack of finding/getting into odd things Troia – the Amazons taught her to hunt Cobra – she’s a good tracker as well CSFB! – he begged me to put him on this team Dancer – let’s see how good she really is at longshots ManMan – I’ve got to put him somewhere Which just leaves: Visionary – safe and cosy at home, damn him, damn him to hell!!!! In our next thrilling instalment: We discover what has been happening back on Earth! Visionary: the Last Legionnaire! Asil’s fateful phone call! The legacy of Zemo! The archvillains react! And the planet gets a new ruler! Don’t miss Untold Tales of the Substitute Lair Legion, coming soon to a bulletin board near you! And finally something you haven't read before, the continuation of cuddly ol' Dark Thugos' ongoing plan to bring death and destruction to the Lair Legion and all they've ever loved from... the Hooded Hood. |
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