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JackRabbit #7, Scenes From A Large Saga, staring a large cast of walk on cameos! Thursday, 22-Jun-2000 08:17:47
JackRabbit #7, Scenes From A Large Saga, staring a large cast of walk on cameos! Well, to properly show what's going on with the Laughing Lapine, we need to do one of those crossover issues where we skip through time, showing all the different activities Jack has been involved in. First scene we see has Jack bouncing out of the way of a rampaging Triceratops in the middle of the business district. "Whoa! Where did that thing come from?" he asks to no one as he bounces up. He ricochets off a wall and then back onto the Triceratops' back, effectively riding it. Cap stands defiant. His shield ready, his brow furrowed, he stands in the path of the dinosaur. He commands "Guys, are you ready?" Jack: "OUTOFTHEWAYOUTOFTHEWAYOUTOFTHEWAY!" Cap: "don't worry son, we've got it!" Paste Pot Pete sends sticky, gooey paste on to the dino's legs. This brings him down as Jack is flung off at the speed of a rapid flying tomato. Jack lands on his feet, barley. The next sence: Jack is jumping from one Pterodactyl to the other while Banjooo knocks them out of the sky. Pigionman runs his spear through two of the moths at the same time. Hatman is busy taking one out that he doesn't see the one dive bombing at him. Frogman jumps on its back and swerves it out of the way. As the web-toed wonder tries to maneuver, the Pterodactyl spins around and swallows Froggy whole, much to the pained expressions of his fellow heroes. The next: The Green Ninja stands on top of a pile of shredded Raptors while the five remaining ones circle. Jack is nursing a bruise while he and Yo watch the coming blood bath, waiting to look away while the emerald hero does what he does best. And the next: A building smolders, the fire has been extinguished. Now that the blaze is over, the heroes start to rest a bit. Hunter Victorious is helping a lady to her kids, PhantomGhost Girl and the Saint are discussing their different strategies, Captain Astounding is flexing his muscles for a hero worshiping child who doesn't seem to care who she should worship, Hat Trick is helping a man find his family, Jack is rubbing a cold wash cloth over his face. Exile is listening intently to the Darkknight. "But, uh… I really don't think this is a good time DK. I've got this stuff to work out with Valeria. Cant Banjooo lead them?" asks Exile. "They are a rough, untrained bunch of loners, just like you used to be. YOU are the man for the job. Personal matters mean nothing when there is so much on the line. Now that both Fin Fang Foom's and Lisa's team are missing, we need to rally all the super powered beings we have. DO IT." And with that last response the Dark Knight disappears. Exile whispers to him, "Personal matters mean nothing… sure. This from the guy who probably doesn't even uses the toilet! Now who the crap should I get for this team?" Jack appears, almost as fast as a cartoon character, saluting, and says "Jack Rabbit reporting for duty sir!" An exasperated Exile responds, "Don't think this means you don't have to pay me the dough I won in the last poker game!" Later, Exile meets with his first recruits, "Ok guys, there's no time to be official. We're the Paradopolitan Irregulars and there's still a lot to do. Green Ninja and Lynx, there's something going on down by the docks. People are reporting arms grabbing them and leering minds probing them and sense Flapjack is still back on Earth, I need you two to check it out. We also have the lizard-marauder raids. Those things keep coming. Who's up for taking them down?" Jack speaks up, raising his hand like Horshack on Welcome Back Kotter, " Ooo ooo, Mr. Kot-ter! I'll take 'em! I beat a few senseless before. I'm up for it again!" "Great, then you go with Captain Astounding. I'm going to find the Saint, Pigionman, Dynamite Boy, Ziles, PhantomGhost Girl and that Stravenger person, see if they want to hook up with us. I wish Falcon or Super Falc, or whatever he's calling himself these days was here. Heck, I'd settle for Rocket Raccoon! We'll reconvene just before sunset." As the heroes leave, Jack says to Captain Astounding, "So, with a great name like that you must have some fantastic powers! What can you do?" Later still, Jack stands over five unconscious lizardmen. Captain Astounding peaks his head out from his hiding place. "See!" says Jack; "I told you they weren't that tough! I still can't believe your power is to hold your arm at shoulder height for extended periods of time. I mean, I did all the work! Remind me to get your help when I've got groceries to bring in!" Cap. A , no, not THAT Cap. A, responds with frustration, "Oh yea, Mr. Bunny suit. Like I can take YOU seriously!" "Hey! I only paid five bucks for this suit! It was a steal!" Jack responds. He notices Captain Astounding's attention is drawn away for a moment. Then the Astounding one asks a question, "Uh… Mr. Hairball, are you sure you can take these guys out?" "That's Jack Rabbit…. J-A-C-K R-A-B-B-.. AAAAA!" screams Jack as he sees the hundred marauding lizardmen charging for them. "AAAAAH!" screams Captain Astounding at the sound of Jacks scream. "AAAAAAAAA!" SCREAMS Jack at the sound of Cap. A's scream. He grabs Captain Astounding and leaps away. Both continue to scream. "AAAAAA!!" "AAAAAAA" "Ummmm, thanks guys! I worked up an appetite! And I don't have to share with Finny! MUNCCHHHH MUNCH…. GULP! MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!" responds a fifty foot Banjooo as he gobbles up the lizardmen army. SNAP! CRUNCH! CHEW-CHEW MUNCH Jack & Captain Astounding as they look back on the bloody scene, "……………………………… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After reporting to Exile, the twosome, along with the new recruit Dynamite Boy, rest for a bit as the phase-weasels have all been drawn away. They don't get much of a rest as the Tyrannosaurus lunges out of the trees. The heroes scatter only to see the dinosaur's head vaporize. They turn to see a giant robot staring down at them. Jack bounces over to the new arrival. After introductions followed by a debate as to the new arrival's name, their robot savoir reveals himself to be the Skree Imperial Terminizer, a self-contained planetary destruction unit. Along with the newly arrived Exile, Lynx and Green Ninja, Jack and Company gets thrashed by the Terminizer. Later, after the Terminizer had been beaten and a steaming volcano was plugged, the heroes started to plan what to do about the giant Celestians. Jack, Captain Astounding and the resurrected Frogman find a quiet moment to reflect on everything. As the Celestians start to hum, Jack decides that waiting around, cooling his heals is getting him nowhere, so he decides to go for a patrol. As the Laughing Lapine bounces from rooftop to rooftop, he finds himself preoccupied with thoughts of his sister, "I hope Jackie's ok. We've been gone for awhile now, and she's probably worried sick. IF we survive all this and we get home, she's going to give me the biggest lecture! I can here her now, "See what all this stupid hero stuff gets? You've been partying on another world while I'm supposed to just wait for your return? Now do you understand why I'm not a super hero?"" Earth, Lair Island, the lobby of the LL headquarters, where we find a woman in a pink bunny suit talking with Cheryl. "So you see, I HAVE to be a super hero. It's bigger than my feelings, I have to live up to the responsibility of my powers." Jackie Rabbit explains. "You seem familiar to me, have we met before?" asks the Lair Legion PR representative as she tries to place a familiar voice. Nervously, Jackie remembers how Jack would always say how keeping your secret identity save was important. So she responds, "Uh, no. I'm afraid not." "Hmm, ok, whatever. Anyway, Ms. Rabbit, I was under the impression that Jack is still alive, but with everything going on I guess he could be gone. I'm sorry for your loss but believe me for telling you that this hero business is not something that should be taken lightly. I think you should carefully reconsider this." Jackie responds with determination, "No Cheryl, I'm afraid I have thought it through and the time has come for me to face my responsibilities. It's time for Jackie Rabbit to stand up and be counted! Now, what can I do to help?" "Here!" Cheryl says as she hands a stack of over due paper work to Jackie, "Troia's gone and we're in need of fileing. Thanks!" ag |
| JackRabbit #7, Scenes From A Large Saga, staring a large cast of walk on cameos! (ag) (22-Jun-2000 08:17:47) |
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