Posted by CrazySugarFreakBoy! his Amazing Super-Friends delurk from their forced internet absence of the past week to star in this controversial story ... on March 30, 2001 at 09:01:12:
A few words of warning, to start. Even though this story contains no sex or violence, there Granted, I’ve hardly hesitated from expressing potentially Trust me; once you start reading the story itself, you’ll One more note, before I leave you to actually read this I’m posting this under the assumption that just about After all, just because I give voice to a certain So, if you find yourself offended by anything any of the All settled? Good. In that case, let’s get on with the show. As the Lair Legion zoomed off towards the next stop on “Sweet! I’ve got a call on my Walkie-Talkie Watch,” he “Hey, Captain!” Dream greeted his roommate, ever mindful of “Turn on your television set,” Kit replied curtly. “I’d “What are you talking about?” Dream inquired, now “Just turn on your telly,” Kit sighed. “Trust me, once “Which is?” Dream wondered. “Doing your best to contain the damage that’s been done,” Dream ran a hand distractedly through his hair, and nudged The hemigod of thunder grumbled quietly to himself, but Anna Kensington, the recently promoted head of Icarus “Something newsworthy going on?” Anna asked, brushing her “You probably caught all of it, then,” Dream smirked, As various TV programs started zipping by at a light-speed Exile, who had been arguing with his cousin Goldeneyed Without replying, Dream clicked the switcher on the remote “Offhand,” he finally remarked, glancing back at Exile, The narrator on the TV news program that was playing was “Karl Braun is, by all accounts, a law-abiding American As the images of print news photos and TV news footage gave Dream blinked in surprise, then grinned with boyish “Quiet,” the Dark Knight growled, suddenly appearing behind Bernice was perched primly upon her seat, with her legs “Oh, no,” Visionary commented, shaking his head. “I know Nats did a double take in astonishment. “That’s ... Cheryl smirked softly, and gave Vizh and approving pat on “There’s only one problem with this picture,” Bernice “Ha! See? I told you,” Vizh exclaimed, pointing to the The image on the television set shifted again, this time to The red-and-gold symbol on Karl Braun’s bright, cheery, It was an encircled Swastika, beneath which lay two “SS” As each shot displayed Karl Braun, in costume, speaking to “Before he became a ‘super-hero’, Karl Braun was an area None of the Lair Legion, nor any of their allies who had Dream’s normally hyper-expressive face had become a Meanwhile, Anna Kensington had crossed her arms across her Bernice’s purse-lipped face reappeared on the screen, but “Now,” Bernice briskly informed her audience, “Karl Braun Not waiting for Bernice to direct the first of her “And I doubt very much that you know me nearly as well as “This is SO not fair!” Dream objected. “Evil super-human “I suspect that art kind of the entire point, friend Meanwhile, Bernice had subtly shifted her tactics, and her “Oh, please!” Karl groaned, rolling his eyes in an Anna turned away from Karl Braun’s image on the TV screen. Braun, for his part, refused to relent in his diatribe, Anna shut her eyes tight, willing him to stop before he “... A filthy nigger bitch, no matter how clever she might The biggest shock to everyone in attendance, aside from As lightning quick as he had thrown the end of his “That show was, what, being broadcast out of Parodiopolis?” Foom snorted ominously, drawing himself up to as much of Taking note of the sullen frown that had crept over Dream’s (And now comes the point in our narrative at which “I DON’T CARE!!!” Dream exclaimed furiously, the volume of “Hey! HEY!” Anna retorted testily, stepping in between Anna stared silently at Dream, as his expression of anger Dream struggled to explain, in words, why it was so Dream slumped his shoulders in defeat, at not being able to Anna had just enough time for her jaw to drop at this “Be that as it may, Mr. Foxglove,” Odyssey Opportunities “And what WOULD my responsibilities as Odyssey’s official Even through his opaque gray-lensed glasses, even though “In this case,” Mr. Book explained patiently, “it would “THAT’S what I’m supposed to say?” Dream shouted in Mr. Book shrugged. “If it’s any consolation to you, I “No, it is NOT any consolation!” Dream interrupted, his “YES, Mr. Foxglove,” Mr. Book replied in a clipped and Half a world away, Mr. Gideon Book, President and CEO of “I’ve been extremely accommodating towards your requests, With that, Mr. Book curtly ended the transmission, in the “Dream?” Meg asked, instantly realizing the gravity of the “Superman just got told that he can’t defend Lois Lane’s And in a stereotypically shadowy super-villain base of The Word smiled. “The original Aryan Ideal, against whom The Hood crossed his arms over his chest in consideration. The Word chuckled gently. “Precisely. Speaking of which, The Hood’s facial features remained obscured by the looming “Then by all means, I encourage you to introduce me to this
are some potentially extremely offensive opinions expressed
by some of the characters in this story.
offensive opinions in any of my other stories, but I still
feel that, given the especially inflammatory nature of the
characters’ comments in this particular tale, the red flags
are probably warranted.
understand why I feel this way.
damned thing.
everybody who will read this knows me well enough to know
which of the asshole opinions expressed in this tale are
mine, and which are not.
character’s point of view, it does not necessarily mean
that I am sponsoring that point of view; indeed, in many
cases, it’s precisely the reverse.
characters say in this story, or if you find yourself
wondering where I actually stand on any of the issues that
are discussed within this tale, just drop me a line by way
of e-mail, and I’ll do my best to explain myself to you.
__________
their world tour, with most of the team lounging around in
the comfortably furnished recreation room inside of the
flying British double-decker bus which was serving as their
means of conveyance to all the destinations on their
globe-trotting itinerary, the smiley face on the left wrist
of CrazySugarFreakBoy’s! Silly Suit began flashing and
ringing.
informed his fellow Lair Legionnaires sitting beside him on
the crowded sofa, as he pushed back the sleeve of his Silly
Suit to tap the flashing, smiling dial face of his
Walkie-Talkie Watch. The masked visage of Christopher
“Kit” Kipling, a.k.a. the current Captain Courageous,
appeared in place of the orange and green smiley face that
had covered the watch’s dial face.
Kit’s secret identity. “We were just in your native UK!
We could have used your help, too, since all the
super-powered people in England nowadays are acting like
badly rendered, Mark Millar-scripted caricatures of
post-modern super-heroes, and –”
say more, but the British government has already got me
working overtime, trying to develop the proper spin control
response to this ...”
thoroughly confused. “What’s going on?”
your lot has had a chance to take in what I’m referring to,
your fearless leaders will be tasking you with the same
mission that I’ve been assigned.”
Kit grimaced. “Good luck.” And with that, his image
flashed out of sight on the Walkie-Talkie Watch’s two-way
picture phone, leaving behind only the orange and green
smiley symbol that usually occupied the watch's dial face.
the Ausgardian prince seated next to him out of his
video-watching reverie. “Hey, Donar, I know you were
looking forward to catching up on the back episodes of Xena
and Buffy that HALLIE taped for you, but would you mind if
I switched back to CNN or MSNBC for a quick second? You
know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”
good-naturedly relinquished control over the remote.
“Understand, friend Dreamcatcher, that ‘tis a favor I would
do only for thee, since thou alone hast paid proper homage
and respect to the brave Warrior Princess and her Vampire
Slayer ally, in our shared viewings of their valiant
battles, through yon magical electronic spyglass portals.
All mine other compatriots hast tried to persuade me of the
absurd notion that the lady Xena and the fair maiden Buffy
are naught but fictional characters, even though I hath
watchest their adventurings with mine own eyes, but thou
believest them to be as real as do I. However, I shalt
reserveth the right to reclaim the mystical
‘channel-surfer’ from thine possession, if thou lingerest
too long ‘pon Cartoon Network reruns of the ‘Super
Friends’, despite the undeniable truth that Wonder Woman
art a hottie.”
Innovations (the experimental technology development
subdivision of Odyssey Opportunities, the same company for
which CrazySugarFreakBoy! worked as an official
spokesperson and advertising mascot), looked up from the
circuitry that she was helping Ms. Framlicker (an employee
of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation, which
had so generously supplied the Lair Legion with the flying
British double-decker bus in which they were traveling) to
recalibrate.
braided hair back. “I caught a few brief snippets of your
conversation with Captain Courageous.”
stopping the tape that had been playing in the VCR, and
going into professional channel-surfer mode, “since the
conversation in its entirety wasn’t much more than a few
brief snippets.”
rate that only a lifetime student of television such as
Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove could even begin to make
out, the rest of his couch-mates finally twigged to the
fact that something was up.
about which one of their girlfriends was entitled to snatch
up the last available vacancy on the couch’s already
overbooked seating space, craned his neck around Flapjack’s
stack of dubiously titled DVDs (which included such
cinematic classics as “Victor Shade: Harder Than A
Diamond” and “Greer Grant Nelson: She-Cat In Heat”) to
look at Dream. “Dude, what’s the deal? If you keep this
up much longer, Valeria’s gonna need a dose of Dramamine
just to fend off the motion sickness you’re inducing from
your abuse of the remote.”
a half dozen more times, and at last set the overworked
channel-surfer down on the end table, as an expression of
uncharacteristic concern furrowed his brow.
“I’d say the answer to your question is, ‘Trouble’.”
intoning her serious-minded spiel over a backdrop of still
photos and file footage of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed,
handsome, muscular man in his late twenties, wearing a
stylish spandex ensemble of navy blue, royal red, and
glimmering gold, complete with a matching red cape and a
red-and-gold chest symbol which was either too obscured or
too indistinct to make out in any of the out-of-focus
shots, but which nonetheless seemed oddly – and
unsettlingly – familiar.
citizen,” the female narrator began. “He pays his taxes,
attends church services regularly, and has never even
received so much as a speeding ticket. Furthermore, Braun
is very active in the regional politics of both his local
neighborhood and his hometown, and has spearheaded a number
of highly successful community watch programs, which have
not only resulted in an impressive downturn in the reported
rate of street crimes, but have also been credited with
creating one of the most marked decreases in drug-related
offenses in the history of the city in which he lives.”
way to a close-up head-and-shoulders shot of a
mousy-looking young woman in an interview studio, with
plain, dark brown hair and square-lensed glassed with
thick, dark brown frames, Hatman reached over to tap
CrazySugarFreakBoy! on the shoulder. “Hey, Dream ... isn’t
that Bernice Teschmacher, the reporter from The Stranger
who’s pretty much dedicated herself to nailing your balls
to the wall?”
exuberance. “Indeed it is! And isn’t she looking fetching
today, in that Velma from Scooby Doo outfit, with the baggy
rust orange sweater and the matching miniskirt and knee
socks? Heh heh m heh, I’d like to give HER a ‘Scooby
Snack’, Butt-Head –”
the couch occupants from out of nowhere, and startling the
hell out of everyone in the room in the process. “This is
obviously important. Let’s hear what she has to say.”
crossed at the ankles, as her notepad and pen rested on her
lap. “And when Karl Braun acquired superhuman powers,
including levels of strength, speed, endurance, and
resilience that easily made him faster than a speeding
bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap
tall buildings in a single bound, the fact that he chose to
become a costumed crime-fighter was probably a natural
progression of his preexisting, and apparently genuinely
heartfelt, commitments to volunteerism, community activism,
and regional politics. In the short time since he first
donned his increasingly well-known, hand-tailored
‘super-suit’, Braun has been directly responsible for
protecting an ever-growing number of hapless bystanders
from wandering into harm’s way. Sounds like the story of a
model citizen turned model super-hero, right?”
that tone. Any time a reporter asks a rhetorical question,
and hasn’t said anything negative about super-heroes yet,
it always means the answer to the question is something
bad.”
amazingly perceptive, Vizh,” he mumbled. “Like ... REALLY
perceptive. Are ... are you SURE you came up with that,
all by yourself?”
the head. “Then again, dear,” she explained to Bill Reed,
“when you’ve served as the leader of not just one, but TWO
of the more PR disaster-prone super-hero teams on the face
of the planet, AND you’re married to the PR consultant who
has been responsible for spin doctoring BOTH of those
teams’ negative press, I’d imagine that you can’t help but
glean at least a marginal understanding of the process,”
she paused, to assist her husband in the difficult task of
figuring out which end of the milk carton to open, “even if
he IS a bit dim.”
Teschmacher continued.
screen.
print photos and file footage that actually revealed the
logo upon Karl Braun’s chest that, up until now, had
remained concealed.
primary-colored costume was not a Superman-modeled “S”
shield.
style thunderbolts.
rallies of khaki-shirted skinheads and sheet-wearing
Klansmen, giving straight-armed salutes to burning crosses
and portraits of Adolf Hitler, and engaged in heated
exchanges with Black Muslims and other minority protesters,
Bernice’s ever-present narration supplied the background
details.
leader and spokesperson for the Righteous Warriors of the
White Race, a grass-roots group that preaches a vitriolic
dogma of small-minded intolerance and xenophobic hatred for
all those who do not meet their narrowly defined standards
of what constitutes ‘true Americans’, and Braun himself has
personally advocated the reinstitution of both segregation
and slavery whenever he has been presented with an
opportunity to do so.”
accompanied them on their world tour, could summon the
voice to react what they were witnessing.
complete blank slate, and he simply gaped, numbly, as his
most cherished concepts of classical super-heroism were
perverted, by hateful propaganda, before his eyes.
chest, gripping herself tightly, as she stared coldly at
the TV set, an ugly scowl marring the rich beauty of her
usually gorgeous, caramel-skinned features.
the camera angle had zoomed out and panned to the side a
bit, so that the home viewers could see that she was being
joined in the interview studio by the blonde-haired,
blue-eyed, Swastika-wearing, costumed crime-fighter about
whom they had already heard so much.
has made a name for himself, as ‘the Aryan Ideal’. And
whatever one might think of his personal politics, even his
harshest critics concede that he has gotten results, and
earned a reputation to go along with his name. Scores of
criminals brought into the custody of the proper law
enforcement agencies - a dozen or more of which were fairly
formidable super-villains who had, thus far, eluded the
capture of even the vaunted Lair Legion - and hundreds of
innocent civilians’ lives saved ... including those of
African-Americans, Jews, Catholics, homosexuals, and
various other members of those same ethnic, racial, and
religious minorities which Braun and his Righteous Warriors
of the White Race have so venomously condemned.”
questions at him, Karl interrupted her in mid-exposition,
leaning back casually in his chair as he offered a
winningly photogenic smile for the cameras. “Not that I’d
expect you media folk to understand it,” he shrugged, his
tone friendly and conversational and confident and
infuriatingly at ease with himself and his surroundings,
“considering that you’re owned and operated by the
Zionists, who have demonstrated time and again that such
concepts as altruism are utterly alien to their greedy,
self-serving mindsets, BUT, by saving the lives of even the
lowest, most craven ghetto gang-bangers, and the most
unworthy, deceitful, diamond-hawking Shylocks, I’m just
proving how superior we Aryans are to such heathen
mongrels, since I can practically guarantee you that none
of them would do the same for any of my pure white brothers
and sisters. Let’s face it, MISS Teschmacher – that IS a
Jewish name, isn’t it? Correct me if I’m wrong – if YOU
saw ME pinned beneath a steel girder, with the tenement
building I was in about to explode from a gas leak at any
moment, and YOU had the power to pull me from the wreckage
and save my life, I very much doubt you’d do anything but
watch me burn.”
you presume to, Mr. Braun,” Bernice retorted, without
missing a beat. “And for future reference, it’s ‘MS.
Teschmacher’, sir. You WILL do me the relatively minor
courtesy of remembering that, especially since I am doing
YOU the rather considerable courtesy of NOT identifying you
as an amoeba-brained, micropenis-wielding, jack-booted
thug.”
Nazi masterminds are meant to be skulking about in the
shadows of the super-villain underworld, like Baron Zemo
used to, so that we can hunt them down and bring them to
justice. They’re not supposed to be obeying the letter of
the law, and apprehending criminal wrongdoers, and other
morally upright sorts of stuff like that - that’s TOTALLY
breaking the rules of the game! I mean, how else do these
guys expect us to bust them, if they don’t give us any
measure of legal justification to do so?”
Dreamcatcher,” Donar gently pointed out to his comic
book-schooled compatriot, who was clearly quite thrown by
this simple (yet astoundingly clever) breach in the most
basic dictates of standard super-villain protocol. “This
whimpering, cowardly cur hath not e’en the courage of his
utterly misguided convictions. He doth remindeth me of
those miserable, small-minded souls who dare profane the
sacred name of my father, by claiming their contemptible
prejudices to be the actual faith of Odinism, in spite of
the blindingly obvious truth that the Nine Noble Virtues of
Thor doth stand in direct opposition to everything that
such worthless Drongo arseholes doth espouse. Had I mine
own way, I wouldst swiftly send all such blasphemers into
the tender clutches of thine Ass-Raping Ninja adversaries.”
stance towards Karl, as she barely even paused to catch her
breath, before subjecting the self-proclaimed Aryan Ideal
to her next thread of inquisition. “I suppose it simply
strikes me as odd, that anyone would attempt to pass
themselves off as a bone fide costumed crime-fighter, and
yet, be so utterly ignorant in their irrationally
intolerant little worldviews that they would overlook the
incontrovertible fact that two of the most intelligent and
well-regarded members of the super-hero community – namely,
Ezra Emrys Wright, a.k.a. Blacksmith of the long since
disbanded Valiant Vanguard, and Jaime Bautista, the
brilliant engineer who employs and equips NTU-150 of the
Lair Legion – could not be further from meeting your
uncompromising bar of ‘ethnic purity’. Indeed, one of the
brightest rising stars in the technology field nowadays is
Icarus Innovations’ Anna Kensington, who is not only
African-American, but also female to boot. How exactly
would you manage to square this evidence with your party
line that black people are tribal savages, or that women
are ill-suited to any societally assigned role outside that
of child-rearing homemakers?”
exaggerated fashion, and flashing a smug, lopsided grin of
feigned exasperation. “Not the ‘Gorillas In The Mist’
argument again! Okay, strictly for the sake of discussion,
let’s say that I actually humor your unfounded presumptions
for a moment. You know what this whole line of reasoning
reminds me of? Ever watched anything on the Discovery
channel? Now, me personally, I can’t get enough of it. As
far as I’m concerned, the nature shows on Discovery
channel, not to mention the live Congressional broadcasts
on C-SPAN, are reason enough to pay that little bit extra
each month for cable, even if all the other channels that
come as part of the package aren’t even worth surfing
through with your remote ... but, I digress. Anyhow, one
of my favorite episodes on Discovery was all about monkeys
– lifestyle, mating habits, feeding patterns, all that
stuff – and it was amazing to watch how clever those little
guys were. I mean, honestly, I was pretty impressed by it.
And yet, despite how smart and human-like these dirty
little beasts appeared to be, it didn’t even occur to me to
question the fact that a monkey, no matter how clever he
might be at foraging for food, is still just a monkey ...”
She knew what was coming, but that didn’t mean that she had
to stare it straight in the face.
until he had given voice to the entirety of his message.
“... And, regardless of whether she’s chucking spears or
fixing computers ...”
could complete his thought, but knowing that she would
still have to hear his next words.
be at servicing the sexual needs of her Indian brave
boyfriend, is still just a filthy nigger bitch.”
when the television set shattered and exploded into a
million microscopic pieces as its screen was smashed in,
was that Donar’s enchanted baseball bat wasn’t the object
that had been flung at the offending images being broadcast
by the otherwise innocent TV.
Yowie-Zowie Yo-Yo at the widescreen TV, CrazySugarFreakBoy!
whipped the typically whimsical weapon back into his palm,
and before anyone could even open their mouths to respond,
Dreamcatcher Foxglove turned to face Fin Fang Foom.
Dream checked, his expression disquietingly determined. “I
recognize the interview studio from the city’s locally
produced newscasts.” A pause, then he shook his head.
“No. Screw it. Screw this, and screw HIM. The world tour
can wait. We need turn the bus around, as in NOW, and head
back home.”
his full, imposingly draconic height as he could, within
the confines of the bus’ interior, without interfering with
its flight path or crowding out his fellow passengers.
“And why would that be? So that you can somehow ... what?
Throw down some sort of challenge? And how, exactly, do
you propose to do that, I wonder?”
normally cheerful features, Finny shifted gears a bit and
accordingly softened his approach slightly, all the while
maintaining an unwaveringly firm stand on this issue.
“Look, Dream ... even if you COULD take him in a fair fight
– and no offense intended, but trust me, you COULDN’T –
what could you possibly accomplish by getting into a
pissing contest with this jerk? Face it - if you take any
action against this barely human waste of oxygen, BEFORE
he’s broken any laws ... well, then, no matter how good
your intentions might have been, they WILL backfire on you,
and in the eyes of the world, you’ll simply have proven
this guy's point for him.”
Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove kind of unequivocally goes
totally apeshit.)
his outburst causing even Foom himself to take a step back.
“He’s a BULLY!!! Not only does he take the name of the
Nazi archenemy of CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! and the original
Captain Courageous from the 1940s, and THEN dress himself
up like the Max Fleischer Superman, despite the fact that
he’s not even fit to lick the dirt off of the REAL
Superman’s BOOTS, but he’s also picking on Anna!”
Dream and Finny to confront her luminous ex-lover. “I’m
standing right here! You do NOT talk about me in the third
person when I am anywhere within earshot of your
conversation, and you SURE as hell don’t treat me as though
I’m made of glass. I mean, what – you think this is the
FIRST time I’ve had some asshole refer to me by the dreaded
‘N’ word?”
visibly diminished to a scolded puppy dog look, and sighed
with frustration as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
“You and I broke up already. We broke up a long time ago.
Yes, you’ve become one of my closest friends since then,
but the fact remains: I’m not your Lois Lane anymore, so
you need to stop trying to be my Superman.”
important to him, and so necessary to him, that he
repudiate everything that the Aryan Ideal stood for. “It
doesn’t matter,” he finally offered. “He’s being mean,
he’s picking on people who don’t deserve it, and somebody
needs to make him stop.”
come up with anything better, as far as a rationally stated
justification was concerned. “I’m sorry, Anna, but
especially when it comes to stuff like this ... well, I
don’t know how NOT to fall back into my standard ‘rush to
the rescue of the damsel in distress’ mode. I’m not smart
enough to figure out HOW to be anything else, I guess.”
disclosure, before a new voice echoed through the Lair
Legion’s flying bus.
President and CEO Mr. Gideon Book commented, as his
holographic avatar materialized from the communications
interface that Anna and Ms. Framlicker had just installed,
not twenty minutes previous, “I would still remind you of
your responsibilities as Odyssey’s official spokesperson.”
Observing the surprised expressions of the others in
attendance, Mr. Book greeted them each in turn. “Ms.
Kensington, Ms. Framlicker, Mister ... ah, Foom ...” he
nodded formally.
spokesperson imply, in this case?” Dream inquired
pointedly, a scowl of growing displeasure resurfacing upon
his ever emotionally expressive face.
the image that stood before Dreamcatcher Foxglove was
merely a holographic representation of the REAL Mr. Book,
Dream could still FEEL the intensity of Mr. Book’s
dispassionately analytical stare, as surely as if they had
been standing together in the same room.
mean letting the press know that, however deplorable you
might find Mr. Braun’s philosophy to be on a personal
level, and no matter how much Odyssey condemns racial and
ethnic discrimination as a rule, when it comes to a
question of saving the lives of innocents, we can hardly
afford to turn away the able aid of ANYONE, regardless of
how much their ethics and sensibilities might offend our
own.”
disbelief. “But that’s BULLSHIT!!!”
sympathize with your position –”
volume level but one step removed from full-blast yelling.
“Did you HEAR what he said? Did you hear what he called
ANNA?”
deliberately controlled tone, raising his own voice for the
first time. “I DID hear Mr. Braun’s remarks, regarding
both Ms. Kensington AND minorities in general. And NO, I
do NOT condone the content of those remarks, NOR do I
expect you to do so. However, in your capacity as Odyssey
Opportunities’ official spokesperson, I DO expect you to
confine your commentary to those points, which I have
already outlined to you. This entire discourse is volatile
and polarized enough WITHOUT us reacting in a manner that
would confirm the worst of Mr. Braun’s allegations, when he
charges us with being more concerned with his personal
beliefs – which he IS entitled to, no matter how repugnant
they may be to you or me – than with how well he does the
job that he’s set out to do. After all, if we expect to
have any credibility when we take HIM to task for
discriminating unfairly against others, then we’d DAMNED
well better ensure that WE can’t be perceived to have
crossed that line, either.”
Odyssey Opportunities, had already donned the ceremonial
garb of The Word, religious leader of the Order of Order,
and was speaking to his super-hero employee by way of a
holographic image transmitter that disguised his caped and
cowled visage behind the familiar guise that Dreamcatcher
Foxglove (and indeed, virtually all the rest of the world)
knew him by.
during your tenure as my employee,” Mr. Book continued, as
a hooded figure with glowing green eyes observed the scene
from the shadows, unseen by the passengers in the Lair
Legion’s world tour bus. “All I would ask of you is that
you extend me the same courtesy in return.”
same habitually abrupt manner that he always concluded his
phone calls, just as Meggan Foxxx, Sarah Shepherdson, and
Whitney Edmonds Darkness wandered into the lounge of the
world tour bus, from the mini-bar in the back of the
vehicle (which they had employed as the site of their own
impromptu Happy Hour), and their lighthearted giggles
trailed off as soon as they took in the somber mood that
had settled over their compatriots.
situation by virtue of the upset frown on her son's
features, a sorrowful expression that always seemed so out
of place on the face of her typically happy-go-lucky little
boy. “What’s gone wrong?”
honor,” Anna sighed morosely, gently stroking Dream’s cheek
with her fingertips, wishing that she could have stayed mad
at him for his unintended chauvinism, but realizing that
her heart just wasn’t in it.
operations, the Hooded Hood nodded approvingly. “A
reasonably skillful stroke of manipulation, I must admit.
The Aryan Ideal is one of yours, then?”
CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! and the first Captain Courageous
did indeed pit their wits and wills during World War II,
was nothing more than a tool of the Order of Order, and one
who was deliberately deprived of any self-awareness
regarding his true mission and import within the grand
scheme of things, at that ... an omission that I’ve taken
considerable pains to perpetuate in his successor, as well.
I actually meant what I said to Mr. Foxglove – the Order
has never been about race, ethnicity, religion, gender, or
sexual orientation, but even though we recognize the
inherent errors of any creed or belief system that seeks
to discriminate against others on the basis of such
criteria, our cause is too important for us to turn away
ANYONE’S aid.”
“Thus, our temporary alliance?”
I suppose I should present to you the full compliment of
the rag-tag bunch that I’ve assembled for our purposes, in
lieu of the, ah, resources that were made unavailable as a
result of the Safe’s removal. They’ve been waiting in the
other room just long enough for their individual
idiosyncrasies to begin wearing upon one another, I
suspect, but between the presence of your aide, the Velcro
Vixen, and the Priestess Pelopia, the Order’s Disciple of
Logos, I trust that any potential temper tantrums have been
forcibly curtailed. Still, I believe we owe our guests the
courtesy of favoring them with our presence, sooner or
later, if for no other reason than the fact that it eases
the babysitting burden on Velcro Vixen and the Priestess
Pelopia.”
shadows of his cloak, but The Word felt certain that he
could discern a subtle smirk upon the Hood’s lips, as the
Cowled Crime-Czar uttered his next words.
venerable audience which you have assembled for my
ostensible benefit. It should be ... most enlightening.”