The Lair Legion

The main heroes of the Parodyverse are a team called the Lair Legion, based on Parody Island just off Paradopolis. All the members of this team are "poster characters". The current line-up consists of Fin Fang Foom, Hatman, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Goldeneyed, Ziles, Nats, Sorceress, Trickshot, Dancer, Pegasus, and Cressida.

Fin Fang Foom (Andrew Dean), the leader of the new LL, is a dragon, based upon a comics character of the same name. Originally shipwrecked on Earth from the planet Makluos, the original ancient wyrm merged with the consciousness of young Andrew Dean to become the draconic crusader active today. He can shapechange and do all the usual draconic stuff. He uses both a humanoid dragon form and the full wyrm shape, and in the latter he is immensely powerful. He is one of the most professional of the heroes, and one that regularly takes on cases independently of the Legion (often with Dark Knight). Foom takes a lot of stick for his shyness around women, although he has been seen often recently in the company of actress and Legion PR agent Lania.

Hatman (Jay Boaz) gained the ability to take on the powers and abilities of any hat he wears after exposure to a radioactive drug containing the primal substance Serious Matter. Really. He mainly uses sports' team caps to take on the abilities of Bulls, Steelers etc, using headpieces from his Hatility Belt. With the right hat he can be pretty powerful. He is the team nice guy, and this probably makes people underestimate his potential. He acts as police liaison. Hatman is relatively young and naturally teams up with CSFB! (mimicking the Green Lantern/Flash relationship). He has an ongoing romance with the Sorceress (q.v.) with whom he shares the running of her grandmother’s rather spooky guest house. More on Hatty and more still on the capped crusader

CrazySugarFreakBoy! (Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove) is a hyperactive college student whose Impossibilityium silly suit enhances his own sugar-powered athletic abilities, strength and speed. His encyclopaedic knowledge of comics and movies and a massive enthusiasm for the super-hero lifestyle creates a perspective that somehow keeps him alive. His mother, Meggan Foxxx (Melanie Hastings a.k.a. "Action Figure") is a radio-chat-show-hosting porn queen stripper. Meggan is devoted to her son and often narrates CSFB!'s adventures. His father is Louis Laughing Fox, a Native American shaman police officer. He's also a member of the Globetr4otting Gangbusters (see attached note), and their former leader, before giving the position to the Lesbian Liberator. Recently he has been sidekicking Sydney St Sylvain, the former superheroine Fashion Fairy.
More on the wired wonder (status quo on character and cast).
The complicated history of the various CrazySugarFreakCharacters is explained in this CrazySugarFreakTimeline! and in this other CrazySugarFreakTimeline!,.
in this CrazySugarFreak Whos Who version 3, in this account of CSFB!'s reformed criminal team The Goofball Gauntlet, and in this list of CSFB!'s Equipment. Then there's some Notes on Meggan Foxxx. Here are some notes on Glitch, a future CrazySugarHero autobot. Finally, descriptions of ally and enemy respectively Jingo Belle and Aryan Ideal.

Goldeneyed (Bry Katz), the deputy-leader of the Lair Legion, has the ability to transport across time and space, and into other parallel universes. He's a light-hearted hero who does the right thing because with great power comes… etc, but who hasn't quite got it right yet and is misunderstood when he does. In his own adventures he is accompanied by his sidekick Frog-Man, who has constant need of his superpower of coming back from the dead. Frog-Man is currently far better known and more popular than G-Eyed himself. G-Eyed's arch-foe is Dr Norm (Enormoidstein), a mad scientist. Goldeneyed is monitored by a mysterious group called The Observing Eye, whose role is to watch over the universe's potentially most powerful beings. He has no memory of his life before the age of 15.. G-Eyed works at Lisa's law firm, along with sexy co-worker, current LL legal advisor, occasional girlfriend, and unknown to G-Eyed mother of his child Lisette (q.v.) More on G-Eyed

Trickshot (Carl Bastion) is an amazing archer who uses a variety of gimmicked shafts to fight crime. He is also the world's biggest bigmouth. Formerly from another reality where he was a Legion member much earlier in their history, Tricky is actually a seasoned veteran crimefighter who is now re-establishing his reputation in his new world. One complication is that his this reality self was murdered, leaving behind a beautiful widow, masterspy Natalia Romanza. More on the irritating archer and yet more here.

The Sorceress (Whitney Darkness), was bred and trained to be a nature-controlling magic-wielder , a wise woman with gifts of transmutation and other magical abilities. Scion of an ancient line of sorceresses, she is the grand-daughter of the witch Hagatha Darkness, granddaughter of Sir Mumphrey Wilton (q.v.), daughter of Xander the Improbable (q.v.), and cousin to the actress Lania(q.v.) and troublemaking LL secretary Ruby Weaver(q.v.). She is romantically linked with Hatman.

Ziles is a beautiful mood-altering alien fugitive exiled from her planet Xnylonia for untranslatable crimes. She wears a skin-tight silver suit which somehow conceals her equipment, including Relaxor Crème and other healing and mood-altering unguents, and a range of advanced stealth, sensory and burglary devices. Her robot servant is Roboti. She uses a stealth-equipped space cruiser. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac to XnyloniansMore on Ziles

Nats (Bill Reed) wields the ancient alien Psychostave (basically a walking stick) that amplifies his own minor telekinetic and pyrokinetic gifts into formidable powers. The fiery haired, fiery-tempered flying supertype has a temporary job working as a delivery guy with Miss Framlicker of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation, which takes him to all kinds of bizarre destinations across the Parodyverse. Recently Bill has become a copy boy at the Planetary Bugle for an extra few bucks. He has a crush on Betty Grant, the secretary for Editor-In-Chief Vincent Crappola. Strangely, most everyone that works there is a parody of another newspaperman from the comics. Just think of Nats as Jimmy Olsen. More on Nats

Dancer, (Sarah Shepherdson) is a mild-mannered waitress by day at Mr Papadopopolis' Bean and Donut Coffee Bar in Paradopolis Plaza (and lives in a flat above the café), but secretly fights crime as the Probability Dancer, the dashing, confident, probability-altering herald of Galactivac the Living Death that Sucks (q.v.). She is quite possibly the nicest human in the Parodyverse and rarely fights her enemies when she can talk them out of being horrible instead. Her adversaries include Magenta St Evil, Holy Wedlock, and Carlsbad Carl the Albino Probability Cowboy. Her sixteen year old pyromaniac sister Kerry Shepherdson has recently come to stay with her. More on Shep

dull thud (Davie) and Cressida, the Worm Wonder - well, technically Cressida’s the member and ’s just along for the ride. dull thud is a sound technician in the musical underground of Paradopolis. His own powers of vertically teleporting and falling any distance without harm are eclipsed by those of Cressida, the matter-rearranging telepathic mutant tapeworm who lives in his stomach and advises him. dull thud has also been an occasional member of Captain Astounding's group of heroes (qv). More on thuddy

Pegasus (Penny Christopoulos) is a shape-changing legendary immortal creature from the Mythlands. Sometimes an auburn-haired women, sometimes an angel-winged warrior, sometimes a winged centaur and sometimes the mythical beast from which she takes her name, Pegasus can also project comet-like cosmic bolts which gain in power the longer she takes to form them. In her winged forms she can fly, and outside a planetary gravity field she can fly at faster-than-light speeds (she’s immune to vacuum and cold). Proud, passionate, and professional she was previously a mercenary in the villainous Scourge (q.v) before gaining a Presidential pardon. Pegasus gains her cosmic powers from and serves a mysterious organisation known as the Constellation. She cannot remain in physical form for more than 24 hours at a time, and must spend at least an hour thereafter as a disembodied mass of cosmic energy communing with the Constellation (but she tries to keep this a secret).

For a list of the Lair Legion’s Supporting Characters scroll down or go here.

For the origins of the Lair Legion, read Lair Legion: Year One.

Former members of the Lair Legion include Jarvis (deceased, founder), NTU-150 (founder), Lisa (founder), spiffy (founder), Visionary, Banjoooo, Donar, Yo, Messenger (expelled), Starseed (ascended), Space Ghost (expelled), DarkHwk (comatose), Rocket Racoon (eaten), Sersi (uni-minded), Exile (off-plane), and Troia 215 (now queen of the Amazons). Probationary members who never made it to full membership include The Man Who Wasn't There (transformed and retconned), Magnetic Techbird (apparently deceased), and Avatar. The Dark Knight, formerly a full member, continues to be associated as an occasional consultant out of the public eye. All of these are described below.

The League of Regulars

The League of Regulars (more affectionately known as the LoR), were all originally members of the LL before leaving to make room for the new crowd. This team is very lazy and doesn't answer their hotline, unless of course if Yo (q.v.) is by the phone. They operate out of either Visionary's condo or Donar's castle. The LoR is Lisa, Visionary, NTU-150, Yo, Donar, spiffy (by law), and Cheryl, supported by their friends Asil, Fleabot, and Zebulon.

Lisa (Lisa L. Waltz), a defence attorney; the First Lady of the Lair Legion (even though she's not in it right now), keeper of the Booke of the Law, has the power to subpoena anybody to her presence. She uses a lash in combat. There are a great many jokes made at the expense of Lisa's allegedly infinite sexual capacity, but Lisa is also the most caring of the team and the first to want to help somebody in trouble. Most of the team would do anything for her. She has an indestructible ginger cat of disreputable character and gave birth to baby Christopher in February 2000.

Visionary is basically a normal, unpowered human who gets into terrible messes with superheroes. His most recent mess was being declared leader of the Lair Legion, which he resisted almost as strongly as the implication that he's a fake man, the android creation of Nazi scientist Dr Vishnar. He has a micro-robot companion called Fleabot. He is not too bright, but very fond of his (also real life) wife, Cheryl (q.v.), long-suffering former PR agent of the Lair Legion and the current PR agent of the LoR. Visionary is a superb "point of view" everyman character, with a dogged determination and a quiet indefatigability.

Donar (Donar Jones or Gavan Carstensen) is a Thor variant, the son of Oldman the Big Daddy and brother of Hoki, God or Goddess of Betrayal and Guile. With his enchanted baseball bat with a nail in it, Mjalcolm, Donar hails from the land of Ausgard, an antipodean version of Asgard. Donar speaks with a mangled Shakespearean speech, like Liefield's Thor if Thor had a broad Australian accent. He is a little more down-to-earth than Marvel's Thunder God, and he is well hard. He has very little patience and less tact, but he would defend his friends to the death. Donar's mother is the Earth-Spirit Gail. Recently he has been reunited with his once love Freyda and discovered they have a son, Harlagaz. Donar is currently deputing as ruler of Ausgard. More on Donar, Even more on Donar, and Donar’s retirement

NTU-150 (Jamie Bautista) wears high-tech full body (Iron Man style) battle armour to give him mobility after a crippling accident. He is the Lair Legion's technologist. He is polite, caring, and dangerous to be allowed near an arc-welder. There are a number of running jokes about his inventions going wrong or exploding. His lab assistant is the elf Zebulon, picked up from an early adventure.

Yo (occupying the human Dr Pilar) is an energy thought being from Yo-planet, a genderless, playful, childlike being who loves bunnies and dressing up as Zorro. S/he mangles English into a very distinctive speak pattern and terms most things cute or uncute. S/he has a simplistic approach to problems which is often effective. Yo is as powerful as Yo believes s/he is, with the gift to manifest whatever abilities are appropriate to the person Yo decides to be (pilot, teacher etc.). However there are limits to this ability for an individual of Yo's people; the entire of Yo-Planet united are powerful indeed. Yo is often associated with a cute purple thought bunny, Rabito. Yo in his/her own words, additional Yo-comments, and More on Rabito.

Cheryl, the Duchess of Lake Superior (sometimes described as the Goddess of HTML for her abilities with the language of webpages), is the wife of Visionary. Although originally an engineer she has become the long-suffering Public Relations Officer for first the Lair Legion and now the LoR. She remains the most sensible character in the Parodyverse – except when she wears her cat outfit.

spiffy (Mark Hopkins) who probably has no idea he's in the LoR, has a symbiotic fern attached to him which gives him mysterious, um, fern powers. Often given little respect, spiffy has a tendency to get entangled in the most difficult part of any mess. spiffy is a minor, and like all heterosexual juvenile males is therefore interested in girls he has difficulty getting. He is basically a nice guy who comes last. spiffy was killed a while back but was rescued from hell at the cost of the life of Hollywood V, an ancient, mysterious and ambiguous character. He recently learned that his adoptive parents were murdered by the assassin the Bone, whom he now seeks, and that his true father is the Hooded Hood (q.v.) whom he does not seek. He cannot believe that he has a hot sister like Troia. A standing joke is that spiffy is responsible for everything. spiffy is also associated with the Abandoned Legion (q.v.). He is currently, and presumably temporarily, mayor of most of the United States of America (except Paradopolis, which people seem to forget). More on spiffy

The JBH (Just a Bunch of Heroes)

The JBH is a relatively new team started by Amazing Guy. The membership has changed over time but is mostly of (writer) AG's most popular characters.

Amazing Guy (Scott Brunsen), a drafting student, has become Eggo, the Living Waffle's Protector of the Universe, replacing the late, great Captain Marbles. Tied to the multiverse he taps starfield-glowing multiversal energy to fly, gain super strength, project force blasts, shield himself, or open portals through space and dimensions. When in residence on Earth, he lives in the geography-hopping country town of Littlesmallville with his wife Janeen Brunsen and their super-powered children, the Amazing Bunch in Paradopolis. More on Amazing Guy

The other JBH members include Kid Produce, Pigeonman, Jackie Rabbit, and the Bog Thing.

Amazing Guy's vast cast is described in The AG Scorecard Other, older materials can be found in Who's Who: Infinity Crisis 1 – Narrator and Lurker, Who's Who: Infinity Crisis 2 – Omnisoul, Trickshot, and Black Pantser, Who's Who: Infinity Crisis 3 – Amazing Guy, Fluffy, and Trojan Horse, Who's Who: Infinity Crisis 4 – The Lair Legion of Super Heroes (a futuristic version of LL), Who's Who: The Lair Legion of Super Heroes (updated edition), and The AG Scorecard (older version)

Other Heroes (who aren't currently in teams)

Dark Knight (crime reporter Greg Burch amongst other aliases), is a Batman/Crow type character taken one step further going around hiding in shadowed corners and scaring the crap out of villains after the murder of his one true love by the Crime Clown. His membership of the LL is not public knowledge. DK is a mystery even to the other legionnaires, most of whom regard him with a little awe and some suspicion, especially since he now appears to be clinically dead. He is a good detective. He has a number of bits of indestructible equipment at his disposal, hidden in his Knightcave, including a Knightcar and a Knightjet. The Dark Knight is sometimes also the cosmic office-holder Chronicler of Stories (q.v.); this relationship has yet to be fully defined.

Messenger (Zaurius Angelheart) is the last of an ancient line of fallen angelic envoys (with a postal motif). Equipped with letters which are razor-tipped, exploding, etc., the postman's former wise-cracking acrobat façade fell away after the death of his lover Poisyn to reveal a shadowy and murderous borderline-insane vigilante who was hunted by the law for his serial killings of criminals. Messenger's greatest enemies included Mailman, Disco Hitler, and the Puritan, who are all dead, and the mysterious and diabolical Mr Lucifer. More on the postman

The Falcon (Joe Wilson) a.k.a. Super-Falc, Metal Super Falcon, Falco, etc. inherited and adapted a flying armour to include razor-sharp wingtips and missile-firing capacity. Drafted as an operative of SPUD, the Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate (q.v.), he has also acted as a trainer of his own team of heroes and is currently partnered with Pigeon, a young female superheroine. He has possibly the highest security clearance of any of the known superheroes. Who’s Who – Falcon Edition

Troia 215 is an Amazon school dropout turned secretary/administrator then member of the Lair Legion. She is the daughter of the archvillain the Hooded Hood (q.v.) and the former (now deceased) Amazon queen Rigantona, and the former twin sister of spiffy (q.v.) before that was retconned. She tends to giggle. She has recently ascended to the throne of Amazon Island. She has an alternative-universe self, the evil, continuity-warping Kumari, who may still be alive somewhere in the multiverse. More on the Amazon administrator

Xander the Improbable, Master of the Mystic Crafts, is the Parodyverse's current sorcerer supreme by default. He operates out of a seedy shop in the Hell's Bathroom ghetto of Paradopolis. He is like a younger, grumpier Obi Wan Kenobi. He tends to shuffle about in dusty red robes, and has a stone hamster familiar (Medusa accident) called Harry. Xander has an extensive network of occult contacts such as Mr Limpqvist of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation. He also seems to know lots of things about what is going on.

ManMan (Joe Pepper) was just a regular guy when he was covered in "experimental chemicals" (McDonalds secret sauce) and he was granted all the superpowers of a man! Along with sentient knife of unknown and ancient origin, Knifey he fights crime in all its forms, no matter what the cost (although the white leather Elvis jumpsuit chafes in the most "intimate" of places). He is currently dating Stacy Gwen and caring for his Aunt April. His most persistent enemy is the bizarre Thighmaster (q.v.). More on ManMan

Sir Mumphrey Wilton is a genial old English gentleman, the managing director of Wilton Enterprises, and the possessor of a pocketwatch which can manipulate time. Mumph has recently returned to heroics after a thirty year absence, and has hired Asil (q.v.) as his amanuensis. Mumphrey is courteous, stuffy, kindly, decent, and absolutely dependable. He looks to be in his late fifties; he is considerably older, and was a member of the League of Improbable Gentleman, an eighteenth century forerunner of the Lair Legion. Formally he is the Keeper of the Chronometer of Infinity, a minor cosmic office. His late wife was Madge, his current amanuensis is Asil (q.v.) href="http://www.chillwater.org.uk/HH/background/mumphrey%20summary.htm">More on Mumph

The Manga Shoggoth is a Lovecraftian creature of protoplasm from the dawn of time. Lurking in his cyclopean many-angled fortress in the icebound Antarctic, the Manga Shoggoth guards his prized collection of Japanese animation. He is rumoured to have a wife, Sh'Ron, and an offspring, Cthandra .

Jack Rabbit (Jack Roberts), has the proportional skills and feet of a rabbit. His principle weapon is his carrot gun. He has a twin sister Jackie Rabbit who is a member of the JBH. More on Jack

Wangmundo is a hairy monster troll of unknown, but ancient, age. His voice is cursed and can kill. Few know he exists. Only Xander, the Hooded Hood, and maybe a few cosmic guys are aware of his presence. He can take on human shape and walk abroad but does so rarely. He lives in the Parodopolis Municipal Library. He's also an expert on magic and transformations, and the like. And he has really big teeth.

Al B. Harper is a theoretical (and sometimes almost practical) physicist who works from his cabin in upstate Gothametropolis to bring about a better world and accomplish really huge explosions. In pursuit of these goals he has recently become the Lair Legion’s scientific advisor. He was previously the fiancée of Miss Framlicker (q.v.). More on Al

Captain Astounding, self-appointed guardian of all those who can be protected by his mighty ability of keeping his hand at about shoulder-height for extended periods of time, has gathered around him a company of similarly powerful individuals; belligerent ninja geriatric-rights activist Granny Fang, the imperturbable calming influence of Sister Marie (aka Nun More Black) , telepathic mutant tapeworm Cressida, with the ability to transform nearby objects into things that rhyme with them, and her host dull thud, emaciated master of vertical teleportation and falling great distances without injury.

Premiere (Victor Brooke), first of the successful first generation of genetically-modified Science Heroes from the alternate dimensional nation-state of Technopolis, gifted with phenomenal strength, speed, endurance, invulnerability, enhanced senses, and thermal projection powers. A whole generation of citizens of the Technoverse has grown up knowing about his exploits. Premiere is nigh-invulnerable, super-strong, super-fast, and has enhanced senses and a thermal blast. Who's Who in the Technoverse

Niobe was apparently was a scientist at Red Right Hand, an evil science organization, and has bio-energy knives of some sort that protrude from her skin. She's on the run from them after betraying them and escaping from their custody.

Dead Boy is a walking corpse who currently acts as a special agent for a mysterious government agency which may or may not have actual ties to the government.

Joey Z is an alien from the peaceful, logical, and highly advanced planet Naicluv Prime. After some... trouble... he was sent to Earth where it was hoped he'd be discovered and dissected. Joey possesses many natural abilities, intelligence and knowledge that are common to his species. He has pointy ears that can pick up some of the smallest sounds (a flea on a dog's back) and even most earth radio signals, and to create a psychic link through physical contact. More on Joey Z

Mr Suit, a violent vigilante with a full PR and legal team behind him, using an experimental force-field harness embedded in a sharp business suit to fight his enemies, no matter the collateral damage.

Indiana Gnome and Gunther are a pair of mismatched mythological creatures loose in the world today. Indy’s a swashbuckling explorer gnome. Gunther’s a former barbarian warrior transformed into an animated gargoyle.

Mr Epitome, the Paragon of Power, a man so devoted to his job he had his own family retconned out of existence, heads the Epitome Division of the Office of Paranormal Security. He uses his enhanced physical and mental attributes to protect America from the forces that threaten it. Mr. Epitome has heard the rumours that he is part of a conspiracy and would tell you they are unfounded. Trust him: he's with the government.

The Librarian lives alone on the darkside of the Earth's moon in the IOL Library, Earth branch. His job is to watch and record all the information about Earth. He may never interfere with the course of Earth history. The Librarian also never talks but can communicate with other people. More on the Librarian

Ham Boy (Fred Harris), has the power over assorted meat by-products, including a ham sense which tells that evil is near by, and meat vision, whicdh makes meat appear when he stares. He lives in his barn in Piney Oaks, Iowa. Most reconizible about him is his cowl that looks like a ham.

Nihilist ENTRY NEEDED

Progeny ENTRY NEEDED

The Men Team ENTRY NEEDED

Horizon ENTRY NEEDED

The Rogues Gallery

Some posters prefer to be villains. The regular posters who take this role are:

The Hooded Hood is a resident at Herringcarp Asylum, from which he plans his own domination of the multiverse. The Hood's power it to "retcon", a comics fan's usually derisive term for a comics writer who rewrites or writes off other older stories which don't suit his own artistic vision. Effectively the Hood can make small changes in past continuity to affect the present. The Hood is obsessed with forging the continuity of the Parodyverse into "a single pristine whole" which he controls. He never lies. The cowled crime czar has occasionally used minions, the Purveyors of Peril (q.v.), He is also attended by the mysterious Fearwalker. The Hooded Hood worked his way through a list of major powers he needed to irritate as part of some grand celestial plan for multiversal domination, died to further his goals, got better, and is currently off plotting something complicated and cosmic as usual. The Hood's complicated family includes his disowned son spiffy and his daughter Troia 215. More on the Hooded Hood and the Purveyors of Peril

Chronic is a confused wannabe supervillain or reluctant antihero (depending on who you ask) with an indestructible Satanic telepathic guitar called Steve which reinforces his strong rebellion against any kind of authority. Steve’s sounds can manifest as devastating sonic effects with a supernatural component. Chronic’s strength and healing powers are said to be drug-fuelled. More on Chronic and the Devil’s Music

De Brown Streak (Josh Clement) is a super-fast mutate with the ability to manipulate speed. Since the death of Magnetic Techbird (q.v.) he has become the most prominent mutant rights campaigner in the Parodyverse, and is wanted in connection with a number of illegal acts in defence of mutates. Josh is also something of a ladies man, and in particular seems to have a strong attraction to Sorceress, which brings him into conflict with her boyfriend Hatman.

Balefire (Jeremiah Frost), A child prodigy in electronics and software, who created a brilliant telepathic video-game interface which, when he experimented with it, opened up the full power of his mind. Tapped into a strange cosmic force he dubs "The Power" or "The Source," he developed an ability to fully absorb a human into said cosmic force through enveloping them in flames generated from his hands. He became a regal armoured maniacal super-villain and currently resides in his birth place of Romania in a high-tech castle, and has his own nameless team of super-villains including Quake, Grrl, Turbo Treesloth, Birthday Bandit, Jean-Pierre, Canadian Nightmare, and the Florist.

CyberVenom is a mercenary-for-hire with a cybernetic symbiote grafted onto him.

Evil Monkey is, well, this monkey who is really evil. Or at least really annoying.

Canadian Nightmare is a villain from, obviously, Canada, who has many Canada-related powers. He has the combined strength of all Canadians, he can control the minds of all and any Canadian, and he can fly. He dresses himself in the Canadian flag, complete with flag-cape and Maple Leaf mask. He probably also has some beef with Candia.

Non-poster recurring villains include:

The Purveyors of Peril, a collection of some of the nastiest villains on the planet, who nominally work for the Hooded Hood but also freelance. Their ever-changing membership has variously included VelcroVixen, the appalling Appendage Man (q.v.) Gromm, the Living Flatulence (q.v.) Indigo Impostor, PsychoAcidPervGirl! (q.v.) HeadCase, Huntingjustice Deathmarrow (q.v.) Anvil Man (q.v.), Professor Manyarms, General Roxx-Hoff (q.v), Gamona the Assassin, Onslaughter, Dr Loveray, Savagetooth, Spacewarped, Razor Ballerina, Huntmaster, Expired Warranty, and Suicide Blonde, and others. Deceased members include Partycrasher, Thunderstroke, Rottweiler and the Terrier, Hellfrasier, and Voodoo Vicar. More on the most recent line-up

HERPES (the Hero Elimination Revenge Project Extermination Squad), a bucket-headed band of high-tech criminals who dream of a secret world empire. Their motto is, "Hail HERPES! Apply Penicillin and another rash shall come forth within six weeks!" they are led by Count Wolfgang Fokker, a monocle-wearing Teutonic villain.

Akiko Masamuneis Head of the Parodyverse's organised crime cartel, and of the Yakuza mob specifically, Masamune is somewhere between an ally and an adversary of the Lair Legion. Like much of the population of Mangatown, she has large eyes and a small nose. Unlike most anyone, she has a tendency to dress entirely in pink, just because she's powerful enough to do so.

The Apostate is a villain with the power to alter the beliefs of others, the Apostate is a dangerous adversary of the LL, and Visionary and Yo especially. The source of his hatred of Vizh, and his admiration of Cheryl, seems to be the belief that Visionary's life was meant for him. Where he got this idea has yet to be revealed.

Wilbur Parody, founder of Paradopolis and arch-manipulator of the destiny of the Parodyverse. The only being to have ever held all three offices of Shaper of Worlds (q.v.), Chronicler of Stories (q.v.) and Destroyer of Tales (q.v.) he preserved his knowledge in three Books of Prophesy which he later used to prepare the way for his as-yet-unrevealed masterplan for the heroes of the Parodyverse.

The incredible Yurt (Vlastimock Bogoff), was once a humble glorious worker in the People's Potato Collective, Commieslavia, before a radioactive accident gave him the proportional strength and intelligence of a small peasant hut. He's basically a twenty foot high pile of indestructible rocks. The stupider he gets the stronger he gets. More on the Yurt

The Devil Doctor is an undead Makluan dragon, the geneticist responsible for unlocking the shapeshifting abilities of his people. As such he has engineered in them the vulnerability to be possessed by his undead spirit. After the Makluans refused his rulership he called down Galactivac, the Living Death that Sucks (q.v.) to destroy their world. The Devil Doctor enjoys taking the identity of an inscrutable Oriental mandarin. A genius with chemicals, poisons, and mutations, the Devil Doctor commands a fanatical following of biologically enhanced ninjas, bizarre monsters, and other Fu Manchu trappings. He is responsible for the creation of villains such as Appendage Man and Rottweiler and the Terrier. He is currently off-planet and presumably disembodied, having lost his previous draconic host form in battle with Fin Fang Foom.

The Lynchpin of Crime (Harry Flask) is the fat, bald crimeboss of Gothametropolis. Above the law he rules the criminal underworld with a pudgy grip of iron.

Peter von Doom is a villainous amalgam of Dr. Doom and Spider-Man. He's, um, evil, was the LL's first enemy, and is somewhere out there now. Waaay out there. He is served by his minion, The Minion.

Roni Y. Avis claims to be the innovator of electronic spam, Avis built an empire out of pyramid schemes and other junk mail. A surprisingly lucrative field, Avis quickly became a multi-billionaire largely due to his complete lack of morals. He tends to accidentally poke himself with the steel hook which replaces the hand Zemo once chopped off. While socially inept to the extreme (like most billionaire geeks), Avis has a sly mind for scams and illicit dealings. His buffoonish exterior hides the mind, heart and soul of a truly exploitative weasel.

Magenta St Evil is a European crimelord with an obsession for transforming things into mid-90’s Image-style comic situations. She has used her super-science and cosmic connections to try and transform the world into a post-apocalyptic wasteland to better suit her tastes, but has been constantly thwarted by her archenemy Dancer.

Thighmaster, sovereign ruler of Bovoria, has come within a gnat's wing of greatness on several occasions - ruling the Universe was a particular highlight - but has been thwarted by his arch-nemesis, ManMan, each time. With his faithful manservant, Browning, the Thighmaster continues to plot his way into the annals of villain history!

The Little Sisters of Discipline, led by Mother Whipcord, are a devastatingly kinky group of sado-nuns who kidnap children to train in their order. Lisa and Moo are two such alumni. The Order may currently be defunct.

B.A.L.D., formerly the power-base of the late Erskine Blofish (q.v.) is now becoming the illegal super-weapons supplier for the entire Parodyverse criminal underworld. It is rumoured that they have some strange Machine Organism Designed for Exterminating Meddlers (M.O.D.E.M.) in charge now.

The Skree Empire is a fallen intergalactic militaristic race, led by The Supreme Interference, a manipulative supercomputer amalgam of the brain patterns of long-dead Skree. Other Skree that have troubled our heroes include Commander Rox-Hoff of the Fifth Skree Armada, and Dronon, the Public Accoster. The Skree are ancestral enemies of the shape-shifting Skunks.

VelcroVixen (Vicki Vee) is a svelte, supervillainous deputy-leader, known for her fetishwear and athletic abilities. For more details, see the Purveyors of Peril.

Quake is a villain from the future who terrorised the descendants of the Lair Legion before finding his way to our time. Quake is a very tall, muscular man dressed in a black shirt, black pants, black gloves, and black boots and mask. He has glowing eyes. He's super strong, can blast heat and energy beams from his eyes and hands, and can project sonic sound waves at his opponents. He also has a nasty temper and kicked Donar's ass, so he deserves credit!! He sometimes has a knife throwing, tuxedo wearing henchman called Jack Knife.

The Obliterator is a giant alien organic/robot being who has battled the Legion many times. Though he often seems loud, foolish, and oafish, the Obliterator is actually very smart and has knowledge and access to advanced technology, making him a very formidable foe to the Lair Legion and the residents of the Parodyverse. There are indications that the Obliterator is an important, ancient and powerful being of cosmic significance, who was condemned to his current existence after betraying the Celestian Space Robots (q.v.). More on the Obliterator

The League of Losers a.k.a the Frightsome Four are a quartet of mercenary supervillains. They are: English Man the sophisticated but often foolish leader of the group, dressed in a blue suit and bowler and has monocle. Obviously he's English, and carries a cane around that projects a spike from the bottom and an umbrella that projects poison gas. Marker Man wears in orange armour, carries explosive crayons around and likes to colour people with markers (don't ask...). Garbage Burner is a bald fat slob who wears a gray garbage man uniform and hat, and sets things on fire with a set of flame throwers resembling Pyro's (except he doesn't have a silly fire tank on his back). And Dr. Teeth is an insane dentist who uses dentist tools as weapons. He is a total psycho. Teeth dresses in a white lab coat and wears one of those straps with the reflective spheres attached to them on his head.

ZOXXON Oil, led by their sinister and scheming CEO Montiver Hole, do all the nasty things expected of big multi-national energy consortiums.

Kink the Conqueror / Wang the Conqueror, is the purple-clad time-travelling warlord tyrant who keeps on invading contemporary Earth, especially every time there’s a Round Robin story.

The Cowled Criminal (also called the Cowled Crook) is a strange crimson-cloaked archvillain who sits at the end of time plotting revenge upon the Hooded Hood (qv). He has begun circumstances that will lead to the very destruction of the Infinite Parodyverses. He often works through servants, including the shape-stealing Spaced Fandom

Count Armageddon (Count Belasco Medici), absolute ruler of the independent Pacific basin state of Badripoor, is suffused with and possibly now composed of evil kaos Energy, livid green tendrils that give him massive strength and invulnerability and can corrode souls. Armageddon was formerly a science villain from the world of Technopolis.

The Deus Et Machina (Hel Rotwang) is the cybernetic leader of the Citizens of Cybernation, a cult dedicated to the improvement of the race through cybernetics. She was also formerly a denizen of Technopolis.

The Ultizon is the final generation iteration of a sentient computer virus composited from various unpleasant sources and based on the brainwaves of a range of criminal geniuses. Having previously masqueraded in the guise of EDWIN as the Lair Legion’s resident AI, Ultizon is well versed in the strengths and secrets of the Legionnaires and has had access to a range of advanced technologies.

Anvil Man is an rusty-armoured demolitions expert. Almost invulnerable and with Donar-class strength, he carries much armament and has the ability to make things detonate.

Appendage Man(Milton Freebish) is a genetically-spawned monster with the ability to manifest any number of large and disgusting appendages. He has previously battled Foom, Lisa, and Cobra. For more details see the additional notes for the Purveyors of Peril.

The Captor is a professional hunter who has killed hundreds of dangerous animals, including tigers, bears, snakes, and genetically altered mutants. Regarded as the best hunter in the Parodyverse because of his persistence and reputation of never failing to capture his foe in a hunt, sinister by nature, the Captor's trademark weapon is a gun that launches grenades that explode upon hitting their target, unleashing nearly unbreakable black coils that wrap around the target and send electric shocks through it to render it unconscious. To match his name, the Captor dresses in old fashioned hunting attire, including a pith helmet covering his bald head, khaki pants and shirt, and black boots. He has a hunting scar on his cheek.

Gromm, the Living Flatulence is one of the last surviving Deviates, one of the species created by the cosmic Celestians (see below). He is basically a terrible, powerful, smell, with caustic and toxic properties. Banjoooo and his Sea Monkey race were created to battle him and his comrades. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Professor Manyarms was a nuclear scientist before the accident that gave him his additional arms. Now he controls much of the criminal activity on the US East Coast. See Purveyors of Peril entry for more information.

The Slimy Slaver Lovetoad of Frammistat Eight is an intergalactic slaver. His name says it all really.

Rodney, the Patronising Git, is an English supervillain with the ability to patronise people so much it hurts.

HuntingJustice DeathMarrow is a gun and blade-wielding barely-clad macho woman in the Liefield tradition, whose grudge against the Lair Legion in general and Trickshot in particular is derived from not being offered a place in their ranks.

PsychoAcidPervGirl! (Gwendolyn "Wendy" Leslie, a.k.a. Cinnamon Raven), CSFB’s! long-lost younger sister, is the front woman for the underground gothic-punk alternative rock band Seduction of the Innocent, the ringleader of the Wicked Pixies girl gang of costumed criminals, and a high school student at the Hestia House private boarding academy for "Girls Gifted by the Graces." Because she aided CSFB! in his accidental discovery of Impossibilitium, she has a cherry red and grape purple Silly Suit of her own, which is fueled by her excessive ingestion of various and sundry illicit chemical substances, including copious doses of drugs and alcohol.

Proctology are a super-villain team consisting of Swingy, Master of the Swinging Arts, the Living Statement!, Pudu Lad, Star-Fish, and the undead Mr Ed. Ask spiffy. Recently an updated Proctology has been associated with Balefire.

The Outcasts are a band of sinister sewer-dwelling cannibals led by the bizarre Sgt Snail. Other members include The Human Grenade, Oaf, Dung Beetle, the Unpossible Man, The Gunsman, Demon Fish, the Man with Two Chins, Devo, and Man-Hamster . More on the Outcasts

The House of Camellia are dark faeries led by their queen Camellia (naturally) who run their business of glamour and drugs from the exclusive waterfront nightclub the Willow, managed by Mr Oxalis. They are sometimes allied with Mahssus, a she-troll under the Englehart Bridge. More on the Fey

The Destiny Carnival is a sinister interdimensional show that teleports from reality to reality on its equally sinister business of recruiting suitable new attractions for its cruel performances. Known headliners include Colonel Destiny, Dr Loveray, Enormous Irma, Mystic Morgana, the Mirror Murder, Endgame, Hotstuff, and Vasto the Wonder Frog .

The Birthday Bandit is an improbable villain who tries to steal heroes' powers by stealing their birthdays.

Turbo Treesloth is a rocket-powered Treesloth. Honestly. More details in the Purveyors of Peril entry. He may recently have been eaten by his former teammates.


Argh!Yle, Evillest of Socks claims to be a CrazySugarFreakBoy! villain. I shouldn't be surprised.

Rape Ape is more or less what his name implies. Ask Kirk Boxleitner. More on the Rape Ape

The Sidekicks

A set of distinctly dodgy sidekicks have occasionally appeared to plague the Lair Legion. Most of them are currently wandering around as the cutting-edge-cool New Battlers. They include L'il Buttie (Jarvis), Wormlad and Wormbait (Fin Fang Foom), E-Male [deceased] (Messenger), the ever-hungry Hat Kid (Hatman), Fashion Accessory (Sersi), Boy Wonder (Dark Knight) andThunderstroke (Donar). Also somewhere out there is Zemo's cloned daughter, Contessa Imke Ilsa Zemo, or Zemette. Lisette is a former member.

And while we're on bizarre alternative Legions, Space Ghost insists that there is also a Parodyverse 2, where the Lair League, an octogenarian organisation begun in World War II is to the Lair Legion, as the Justice League is to the Justice Society. The Lair League consists of Jarvis-2,Lisa-2, Dr.Chronicler, the Shaper, Sea Monkey, Dragon Man, Space Ghost-2, and many others. More on Space Ghost's Parallel Parodyverses

The Cosmic Characters

The Chronicler of Stories is a celestial office bestowed upon one who monitors and records the events of the Parodyverse. The current Chronicler is the erstwhile Dark Knight, and somehow moonlights as him in a way as not yet revealed. The job also seems to involve a lot of talking ravens of destiny.

The Shaper of Worlds was a poster called Carrington, but after his long absence the office was handed to a new, female incumbent once called Jury. The Shaper's role is to initiate new narrative strands in the many parallel timelines of the Parodyverse. She has so far fallen foul of the manipulations of the hooded Hood and the Paradox Stranger (q.v.)

The Destroyer of Stories, is the third cosmic office-holder, charged with bringing all things to an end. The former office-holder, Samhain, fought the Lair Legion on several occasions. After his recent apparent destruction the new office holder is Dark Thugos, Tyrant of the Sol Empire, master of the Entropy Eyebeams, a the craggy-countanced alternate-reality son of the Hooded Hood and brother to the equally-sinister Kumari. After being forced from his original reality, Thugos conquered a sizeable portion of the prime Parodyverse, including the Skree Empire (q.v.) before being killed and recruited as the new Destroyer of Tales. He is served by a cast of thousands of undead, necro-priests, and stormtroopers. He is a worshipper of Death (q.v.) (who doesn't fancy him).

The Parody Master is a sort of omnipotent villain who is probably the most powerful being around in the regular Parodyverse. His role within the cosmic order remains unexplained, but he has been summoned to uphold the edicts of the Triumverate and the Celestian Space Robots (q.v.). However, he also operates independently, and tends to cruelty and tyranny. He commands untold legions of armoured Avatar Warriors and tends towards militaristic conquest. Different entities assume the role of Parody Master at different times, which may explain his widely-varying levels of power and competence.

The Celestian Space Robots are mile-high incomprehensible and nigh-omnipotent entities tasked with maintaining the mechanisms of the Parodyverse by their unknown creators. They never speak, but creatures drawing near them may be overwhelmed by the sheer power of their massive thoughts. The entire LL once managed to chip a small dint in one of the Space Robot's boots.

The Family of the Pointless are powerful anthropomorphic representations of fundamental forces in the Parodyverse. They are Coincidence, Lusting, Whinging, Glamour, Death, Temporary Death, and Space Ghost. Common Sense has abandoned his office.

Galactivac, the Living Death that Sucks, is a planet-hoovering, world-cleansing entity of immense power which moves across the galaxy sucking planets bare of all life. Galactivac's former herald was the now deceased Crimson Cyclist. His new herald is allegedly the Probability Dancer.

Blackhurt, Prince of Fibs, one of the demon-lords of the Abyssal Depths, son of Mefrothto. His hobbies include giving pain, destroying all that is good, and damning people to eternal perdition. Oh, and philately.

The Hero Feeders are parasitic entities which inhabit the interplanar vortex and gnaw on the very narrative strands which make up the Parodyverse. In short, they feed on legends and can devour a hero and all memory of them. The Hero feeders sometimes creep into the Parodyverse proper, taking on human shapes to indulge in their hedonistic revels. Most recently they have manifested as the Heckfire Club, an exclusive and powerful gentlemans' association in Paradopolis' ritzy Pierce Heights. Inner circle members include Simonides Slaughter, the Black Emperor, Anne Salem, the White Empress, Frederick Scarfe and Professor Hammond Stein.

Frightmare is the Lord of Bad Dreams who sometimes attacks heroes while they sleep.

The Bog Thing is the muck-formed guardian of the Nexus of Unrealities in the Wookiegetlucky Swamp, Florida, and an occasional member of the JBH.

Lair Legion Supporting Characters

Lair Legion staff include:

Flapjack is the Lair Mansion's butler, a mis-shapen and disgusting hunchback formerly in the service of the Hooded Hood and virtually every other master-criminal. His hobbies include sniffing Troia's underwear and trying to photograph superheroines showering.Flapjack's CV

Amy Racecar is the LL's mechanic. She also has the power to heat her skin, with a speciality of frying eggs on her stomach. More on Racey

Lisette (Laurie Leyton) is the LL's legal advisor. An intern at the lawfirm run by Lisa Waltz (q.v.) and Lisa's sometime sidekick, Laurie is a rebellious rights activist, an advocate of alternative lifestyles, and the most interesting thing in the life of her law firm co-worker Bry Katz (Goldeneyed, q.v.). G-Eyed does not yet know that he has fathered a child on Laurie.

Amber St Clare, the efficient and aloof government liaison

Ruby Waver, the new secretary at the Lair Mansion, is a fast-healing, somewhat sleazy distant cousin of Sorceress’, and possibly jailbait. More on Ruby

Lania, soap star and actress, and occasionally the Lair Legion’s PR advisor.

Art Corben, former Evil monkey minion, now serving a probationary sentence as LL intern, has a complicated life since he started dating robot girl Mandy Pyrite

Randy Robinson, Art’s friend and fellow minion doesn’t have a robot girlfriend, but he does have a collection of ray guns hidden in his closet.

Marie Murcheson is a banshee who haunts the Lair Mansion. She rarely manifests (except when G-Eyed is showering) unless supernatural evil threatens her home, and howls all night when a member of the Legion dies (she hiccups all night if they subsequently come back to life).

Additionally, Al B Harper (q.v.) now acts as the Lair Legion’s scientific advisor.

Other Supporting Characters

There are far too many incidental characters to list anything like all of them. As a general policy this list only includes the ones that appear in more than one posters’ stories. Apart from the various supporting cast mentioned above, one or two of the other people who keep popping up are:

HALLIE is an artificial intelligence originally created by Dr Vishnar at the behest of Baron Zemo. She later relocated to LL headquarters where she acted as their occasional resident computer, and then moved with the League of Regulars to Visionary’s Condo. She is closest to NTU, with who she shares a playfully adversarial relationship. Using the notorious Movie Gun, she can pass objects and people back and forth between the Parodyverse and the Virtual world.

Dan Drury, Agent of SPUD (Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate) , a tough-talkin' hard-cussin' cigar-chompin' ornery one-eyed sonofab*tch what don't take no crap from no turkey-smoochin' government desk jockeys and gets the job done. SPUD has a massive helicarrier headquarters and the mission of protecting the planet.

Asil Ashling is a cloned version of Lisa created by Dr Moo and possesses the ability to become any age. Innocent and devoted to Visionary, Asil has latterly been serving as Mumphrey's amanuensis.

Caveguy is a savage caveguy. He says "Hooga!" a lot. Recently he may have become Lord of the Savage Park.

Elsqueevio is the Greek god of small waters. He sometimes hangs around with Banjooooo or spiffy. He is enraged by the colour purple and can fight his own weight in beavers.

Con Johnstantine is a trenchcoat-swathed smooth talking and mysterious Englishman who appears to have occult connections and a knack of getting people into trouble.

Herbert P. Garrick is the Presidential Advisor on Superheroes and leader of the anti-mutant campaign. He is rabidly opposed to superheroes, so that doesn't help really. Garrick is the man who controls the robotic Sentinoids, hero-hunting automatons.

Yi is a pure thought being from Yo-Planet. S/he is most often encountered in the Happy Place, being the sworn protector of that plane of existence.

J. James Jerkson is the publisher of the Daily Trombone, the second best selling newspaper in Paradopolis (after the Paradopolis Times). He is a cigar-chomping, hero-hating, self-aggrandising loudmouth.

Commisioner Don Graham is the ageing but honest Paradopolis Chief of Police.

Reverend Mac Fleetwood runs the Zero Street Mission in Hell's Bathroom.

Woopsa the Rakshasa is the new Supreme Conceptual Entity of Amalgamated Pantheons, Inc, a retirement home for old deities. He is actually an elephant-headed creature of Indian myth and former towel boy.

Semi-Retired and Inactive Characters

The Abandoned Legion

The AL formerly operated out of Gothametropolis York, across the river from Paradopolis, but has recently split up. Its previous members were:

Cap, the team's reluctant leader, a triangular-shield wielding crimefighter, who is reserved and sensitive in private life and a combat machine in battle. Cap has a penchant for giving people peanuts.

Paste Pot Pete (um, Peter?), glue-gun wielding adventurer, who may be somewhat unstable after a recent near-death injury. He hasn't spoken since.

Cobra (Christine McBurney), an aggressive, combat-loving ninja martial artist whose instinct is to kill her opponents and whose main weapons are the banana gun and sink plunger. It has been hinted that the Cobra may be the last survivor of the ancient Egyptian Sect of Buto, and may even have inadvertently led to its downfall.

Hunter Victorious(Stephen Bloom), a precocious, brash but talented teenager who may be a new incarnation of the now-deceased Hollywood V (q.v.) and a whole lineage of other mysterious characters through history sharing the same initials. He manifests as yet undefined tactile control over matter and energy.

Banjooooo is king of the Sea Monkeys, those little creatures that are grown from crystal packets which are much advertised in comics and were genetically engineered by the Abhumans millennia ago to guard against the escape of the long-imprisoned Deviates. A former member of the Lair Legion, Banjoooo can grow to around Godzilla size, and also has a number of other abilities which his genetically-pliable form can evolve in line with his reason for being created. He is usually an easy-going fun-loving character, but can get touchy when his royalty isn't acknowledged or when his ego is bruised. He's a bit cocky and is likely to come up with one-liners at friends' expenses. He and spiffy run a detective agency together. He is romantically involved with the human girl Elyse.

As mentioned above, spiffy was also associated with this team. Former members include Sorceress, Sersi (q.v.) Messenger (q.v.) and Hollywood V (q.v.) (the latter is deceased).

Other semi-active or retired characters include:

Space Ghost (David Garett) was tossed out of the Legion because of his drink problem. Usually played for light relief comic drunk these days, Space Ghost's main weapon is his Spank Ray, although he has minor Gaaahhh! abilities under the tutelage of Starseed (q.v.). Space Ghost's unique perspective, including his ability to be ten minutes behind a conversation or to make massive leaps of logic, and the ability to wander off into entirely parallel storylines, are actually important parts of his character. When sober SG is formidable. When drunk his is often pantsless. Space Ghost is also an occasional member of the Scourge of the BZL (q.v.). He has recently been mentioned as one of the Family of the Pointless (q.v.). He has spent many years living in the Lair Legion's broom closet. He has spent many years living in the Lair Legion's broom closet, but has recently retired to London under a secret alias to become a writer.History of Space Ghost Where is S Ghost Now?

Starseed is the master of the force-like Gaaahhh! power, released by shouting "Gaaahhh!" He transforms into a purple-bubbled energy character in combat. He's somewhere between Luke Skywalker and Bruce Lee. He is a very powerful character with a relatively short fuse. He's one of the characters most likely to complain if people aren't being professional and he's very proud of League tradition. On the other hand he likes a joke and he's definitely "one of the boys". He is currently off-planet, adjusting to reaching an new level of Gah! mastery. He often associates with Space Ghost, another Gah! disciple. There is (or perhaps was, since we haven't heard of them for a while) an order of Gah! Acolytes. There are also followers of the Dark Side of the Gah!, led by the sinister, hissing Dirth Vortex who recently fought the LL.

DarkHwk (Zane) has an enchanted amulet which transfers him into a powerful, agile, flying android body with claws and forceblasts. He is a tryer, and he won't give in no matter what. He is sometimes a bit moody and gloomy, and is reluctant to allow even friends like NTU-150 and Yo to get close since the death of his brother. He was an occasional guest at the Lair Mansion and helps out in NTU-150's lab. However, at the moment his humanoid form lies in a coma, and a form similar to his armoured one appears to be on the rampage.More on DarkHwk and
more on DarkHwk's History

Baron Heinrich Zemo, a hideously-scarred and therefore masked archcriminal Nazi mastermind, plotted to rule mankind from his well-known secret castle. His wife Heike is frozen in a slab of ice and many of his plots are based around her rejuvenation. He is served by a band of supervillians called the Scourge of the BZL(see below) remain at his beck and call. Many of these characters are also occasional posters or have been at some time. Zemo was also occasionally served by other minions such as his genetically-created sonMillenium Bug , the nightmare-haunting Dream Demon, the possessed Kelsey Grammar Hellfrasier and the Nazi scientist Dr Vishnar. Zemo and nearly all of his followers (and even his castle) have mysteriously vanished due to the manipulations of the sinister Hooded Hood. Zemo's wayward artificial daughter Contessa Imke Ilse Zemo (Zemette) was murdered by the Grim Reaper..

The Scourge of Baron Zemo's Lair were a team of super-villains kept on retainer by Zemo. They included Pegasus, the Late Great Donald Blake, The Man Who Wasn't There, Venom, Wonderbooster, Substitute Grim Reaper, Jam, and Uatu. All of these except Pegasus and Uatu have recently disappeared with Zemo due to the Hooded Hood’s intervention. Uatu has returned to his people, the Observers, but the Pegasus is still at large and has recently joined the Lair Legion. More on the Scourge Recently a newer, possibly temporary, version of the Scourge has also been active. More on the New Scourge

The diabolical Dr Moo (Daio Waltz), a cow-masked bio-engineer villainess with the ability to control dairy products, is actually Lisa's older sister. Dr Moo has a pet female rat called Davidowicz who has manifested a number of human-like traits including the ability to take photographs and talk. Both are currently frozen in shards of null-time.More on Davidowicz

Pierson's Porter is an exiled alien from the sinister race of Puppeteers, abandoned on Earth after the death of his master (Pierson) and the collapse of the Puppeteers' plans for the moon. PP, already outcast as an inferior in his own society, became intrigued by humans and armed with a series of high-tech alien gadgets is learning about life on Earth; after his romance with the villainess Dr Moo (q.v.) ended and he had been elected Mayor of Paradopolis he mysteriously vanished into a Hooded Hood retcon. More on PP

The Paradox Stranger is an enigmatic meddler in the affairs of the Parodyverse to the irritation of many cosmic powers. Amongst other things he is responsible for the various imitations of the Lair Legion dotted throughout history. He is currently encased in a shard of null-time to try and keep him out of mischief.

Avatar(Al Vaetar) is a biologically-armoured blue-skinned noseless ex-minion of the Parody Master (q.v) wielding an Avatar-Sword and possessing the gifts of flight and intangibility. Effectively a newly self-determining entity, Avatar spent some time with the Lair Legion and slowly learned humanity. He was last seen as the new Dread Lord of the Dreary Dimension, a distant other reality.More on Avatar

Sersi is an Austernal (an Australian Eternal, a race of advanced super-powered beings, transplanted into the outback). She has the ability to manipulate matter and change one thing into another, as well as being ageless, super-strong, and almost indestructible. More importantly Sersi is a party girl with a keen fashion sense and an opera singer's ego. She is not a person to tick off. In some stories her clothes fall off a lot. Sersi and the Austernals are all currently regenerating in their gestalt Omni-Mind after a recent attack upon them.

Tina Cabanez runs the charitable Bautista Foundation and until recently had telepathic powers.

The Grim Reaper a.k.a. the Enemy the Grim Reaper is an extradimensional entity chosen by the mysterious Void Spectre to intervene in various realities from infernal invasion by conquering those worlds. He became active in the Parodyverse, based in his lunar fortress, until he too mysteriously vanished into a time loop back to his origins. He should not be confused with the substitute Grim Reaper in the Scourge of the BZL (q.v.) More on Reaper and More on the Reaper’s plots

Exile (Derek Foreman) is a mutant possessing energy-controlling abilities which also give him enhanced strength and speed, and the power of flight. After accidentally temporarily becoming Lord of the Dreary Dimension, a place of exile created by the gods, he was embarrassingly gifted with a tribute slave in the form of the beautiful and brave Valeria of Carfax, actually princess and high priestess of her people. Exile is currently aiding her to help her people adjust to life in the Mythlands after escape from the Dreary Dimension. Goldeneyed's cousin, Exile is another alumni of the Observing Eye. Exile tends to be direct, almost in-your-face in his approach to problems, a good-hearted hothead. He and Goldeneyed share a third evil cousin, the sinister Bambi Bacall, the matter-manipulating Suicide Blonde (q.v) More on Exile

Dynamite Boy, (Jeremy "Jimmy" Wick) had the ability to explode at will , plus his Explosion Sense®, which senses hot dog vendors. His archnemesis is at Dr. Hammond Sterr, who was recently revealed to be a member of the notorious Heckfire Club (q.v.) themselves a front for the extraplanar parasite Hero Feeders (q.v.). He also fought a bunch of telekinetic frogs. His powers have not yet returned after a heroic nuclear level explosion.More on Dynamite Boy, Yet more on DB, and Notes of DB's family.

Phantom, an as-yet-unexplained apparent avatar of death who has recently begun murdering criminals in Gothametropolis York. More on Phantom

Deathstar Druid has shown up in numerous round robins and cameo appearances. Little is known about him. What we do know is that he was created from Skree tech on the moon, and sent to Earth. He has encountered several heroes, but he has the strange power to be forgotten about. This might be a retcon by the Hooded Hood until DD can join the Parodyverse properly.

Visible Boy (Glenn Ross) is, um, a boy that is visible. He can be visible to some, invisible to others. He has great agility, he's able to slip into any crowd and be lost, he can fly, and he can shoot little spikey lasers that taste like bananas from V on shirt. More on Visible Boy and his cast

Lee O'Callaghan is a hard-boiled former FBI forensics specialist turned private detective who has recently been swept into the world of superhero mysteries. More on Lee

Infrequent Aardvark is a physical manifestation and avatar of the principal of Loonacy which has incarnated in the Parodyverse to rectify a cosmic imbalance. What this means is yet to be revealed.

Shifter is an unexplained character who occasionally appears to use his control of the very strands of reality it self. As a result, his power causes the outline of his very form to shift, blur and waver. This distortion makes him nearly impossible to hit and, even more so, detect. He can "shift" realities. He has not appeared for a considerable time, and his role within the Parodyverse remains nebulous. More on Shifter

A number of characters have not been seen since Paradopolis survived being kidnapped to an alien planet, and may or may not still be around. These include:

Saint, (Kyle Runner) received enhanced physical abilities and the power to merge into smoke, fog, or steam after an accident with a VR program, 100,00+ volts of electricity, and some holo-particles. These days he gets his orders via disconnected telephone from the mysterious Maverick, who works for a yet more mysterious government agency.

The Green Ninja is a recent addition to the crimefighters of Paradopolis and Gothametropolis. Little is yet known about him.

Paris Stavanger is an alien martial arts specialist whose purpose on Earth remains as yet unrevealed. More on Stavenger

Lynx, a vigilante survivor of the mysterious "Project Apothecary" for an American NSA operation. More on Lynx

Lee Bookman, former and retconned Librarian at the Lunar Public Library, an institution located on the dark side of Earth’s moon, was assisted by co-librarian Lynn and the robotic A.L.F.RED. Executed by the intergalactic Organisation of Librarians he was latterly retrieved from oblivion by the Hooded Hood and set to work classifying a library of unwritten books within Herringcarp Asylum. More on Lee Bookman and his Library (as was)

Currently Dead Characters

Jarvis, (Tim Butelier) a butler, former leader of the Lair Legion, and currently dead (although it might take a while for a few storylines to catch up with this); a dashing young man trained by aliens in their attempt to breed warrior-slaves on Earth, and imbued with telekinesis, teleportation and other powers. In character he was quick on the uptake, responsible, and heroic, but with a temper and a mean streak if he's irritated. Jarvis the poster got married, and real Jarvis' wife Melissa was dragged into the writings as fictional Jarvis' widow. Melissa gained probability-altering abilities from Galactivac (see below) and was currently apprenticed to the witch Hagatha Darkness, but these powers have now been passed to Dancer and Melissa has retired.

Hollywood V appeared as an old, staff-wielding magus. Acting as both hero and villain at different times he was instrumental in sending spiffy to Hell and later gave up his life to rescue the fern-wielder. HV may have been the Lord of Hell, forced to return to his demesne. A number of equally mysterious HV figures have appeared throughout history, such as Hastings Vernal in the late nineteenth century, and of course Hunter Victorious (qv) in the present.

Rocket Racoon was a racoon with a rocket pack, emissary of the, um, the Racoon People. A swashbuckling racoon, and spent a lot of time trying to get close to Sersi. He was apparently killed and eaten in his last adventure, but keeps popping back for encore performances

Currently Dead Villains

Magnetic Techbird is a mutant terrorist (and, like virtually all the Parodyverse's poster villains, a former Lair Legion candidate) with abilities to control magnetism, create solid-sound constructs via a mechanical vocal carapace, and manipulate technology. He wears a red and purple costume and has long blonde, red, and white hair. MT is really an anti-hero, a rebel without a cause, and is as likely to do good as ill. He is desperately unlucky with women. He is currently presumed dead.More on Magnetic Techbird

Erskine Blofish, the bald headed, hamster loving master of the terrorist organisation B.A.L.D. was the one who hired the Confiscator to off Zemo's wife after the two had an unpleasant brush with one another. Blofish later got his head ripped off by Samhain (according to DK it survived) and was thrown into Zemo's castle, later to be rescued by Membraine. Blofish's head was later put on a robot body where it planned and plotted until a final encounter with the Purveyors of Peril, where Suicide Blonde transformed the indestructible adamantium exo-skeleton into tapioca..

Membraine was a green skinned, bald headed, red eyed mutant created by Zemo and some scientist. When Membraine was brought to life, he was very dull witted. Somehow his mind evolved and turned Membraine into a genius. Membraine escaped from Zemo's castle and decided to destroy the human race, and went to Europe to destroy Zemo and his army as he hated his creator for making him look so ugly. Creating an army that resembled himself with a cloning machine he took control of Zemo's empire. Just before he could kill Zemo, however, explosives in his castle went off and he was crushed by stone and Zemo's throne. More on Membraine

Madame Symmetry of Synchroncity, former holder of the cosmic office of Keeper of the Chonometer of Infinity, tyrant of the Spanish Inquisition, and CEO of the Westminster Necropolis Company is a black silk-clad schemer with the wisdom of ages. Her plots usually relate to the manipulation of time, and she is capable of certain time-related effects due to her intimate understanding of how it works. She was spat out of time after her most recent attempt at conquest.

Dirth Vortex, master of the Dark Side of the Gaaahhhh!, a tattooed, asthma-breathing warlord, worked his mystic plots and leads his acolytes in preparation for some unspecified upcoming event where he intended to be on the winning side. He is currently scattered across the cosmos.

The Confiscator was a professional assassin. Clad in dark padded battlesuit, strong and usually with concussion grenades strapped across his chest armour, the Confiscator carried a laser pistol with him at all times and had other artillery to work with as well, depending on the importance of the job he took on. His performance level depended on how much he got paid. He was completely covered and hence no one knows what he looked like. His real name and past are also mysteries. Amongst his other achievements, he shot Baron Zemo's wife Heike.

Hämmerblade is an alternate universe variant of Donar, but with much more nicely coiffured hair. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Partycrasher is a renegade Austernal, with the special additional ability of grasping women with his prehensile chest hair. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Mefrothto, Prince of Fibs, one of the demon-lords of the Abyssal Depths. Amongst his other damned souls he tormented the Hooded Hood's lost teddy bear, Pooty.

The League of Irregulars or the Anti-League was a force gathered from various realities and lead by the evil Anti-Jarvis, whose ambition was to conquer the multi-verse. Not truly opposites of their Parodyverse counterparts, but merely variations on them. An early challenge for the League of Regulars who became the Lair Legion. More on the League of Irregulars

And Finally…

This Who’s Who hasn’t detailed some of the nonhuman races living on Earth, such as the Austernals and Abhumans, nor many alien races like the Skree and the Skunk, nor other peoples such as the Ausgardians or the Hero Feeders. All of these are referenced in Where's Where of the Parodyverse.

A number of stories set in other times have been told. Characters from other eras include The League of Improbable Gentlemen (18th Century),
the World War II heroes, the Lair Knights (Arthurian), and the Lair Legion of Super Heroes (the future).

Having survived all that you might now want to attempt Jarvis' History of the Parodyverse or take a look at the (now in-need-of-updating) plans for the Lair Mansion. Or, if you're in a writing mood, there's always Hatman's list of common cognomens for BZL characters.

Links and More:

Links and Archives

Lair Legion Livingroom chat room

Parodyverse Frequently Asked Questions

Character Summaries from the early Parodyverse.

The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom, containing well over two hundred tales of the Parodyverse and lots of other goodies.

The History of the Parodyverse is Amazing Guy's magnum opus chronology of events since the beginning, and an essential reference tool.

I'd be happy to include more sites and more character information as people tell me about them.

HH
9th July 2003

Contact the Hooded Hood at HH@chillwater.freeserve.co.uk

Copyright © 2003 by Mangacool Adventure