France was a country who had been dumped on by everybody. Everyone and their mothers had taken over the country at one time or another. Caesar, Charlemagne, Napoleon, Hitler, evil spiffy, and even Dark Knight and Fin Fang Foom’s…creations…had disturbed the peace of France. Of course, being the froggish people they happen to be, they took it all lying down. But they had had enough; there was only so much a self-effacing France could take. They would suffer the machinations of the world no longer. They would—strike back!

The denizens of France gathered themselves together around the L’Arc de’Triumphe and rallied themselves around their national hero, Jerry Lewis.

"We weell no longer take zees lyeeing down, mes amis!" Batroc shouted at the top of lungs at the crowd around him. "We ‘ave suffered eenough from ze likes of Caesar and speeffee! No longer, I say. No longer!" Batroc passionate speech was greeted with cheers and applause on all sides! "And now," he continued, "I eentroduce to you ze greateest man alive, Jerry Lewis!" Much cheering abounded as Jerry Lewis took center stage.

"Friends, Frenchmen, I come not to steal away your country, rather I am here to aid you in your quest for retribution!" The Frenchmen were now ecstatic; their moment had finally come. "Now, let us unleash our foot soldiers against our hated enemies spiffy, Dark Knight, Fin Fang Foom, and the rest of the LOR!"

"We are France, we shall rule ze world!"

"Huhn Huhn Huhn!"

"Nozeeng shall stand in our way!"

Jerry Lewis and Batroc summoned their mighty foot soldiers, and the deadly warriors instantly appeared before the crowd, dressed in black and white, wearing white face paint, and totally, totally silent. They just stared malevolently before them, nothing escaping the silent gaze. They were—mimes.

"DK, Finny?" The Shaper of Worlds had just finished reading the Dark Knight and Fin Fang Foom’s psychology papers. He was…impressed with them, to say the least. "I got three words for you." "Really? What are they?" DK looked up from the corpse of Joel Schumacher, which he repeatedly mashed with his trusty nine iron. "Get. Help."

"Shaper, that’s two," Finny said.

"Fast."

Of course, Lisa was nearby, subtly "administering" to Jarvis. All she had to say about the remark was "NNT." "You know, something, TSOW," Starseed spoke up, "you never cease to amaze us with your droll wit. And you two," he pointed to DK and Finny, "need to stop smokin’."

Finny, quickly bored with the proceedings, transformed into his massive dragon form and flew away.

"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE" was all Dark Knight had to say as he continued to pummel the rotting corpse. He was directly joined by Pegasus, who whipped out her frying pan and began cooking up crispy tater tots for everyone. "Mmmmmm—Crispy!" she said.

Meanwhile, high above in the stratosphere, Fin Fang Foom was cruising at an altitude of 100 feet when he suddenly smacked into…something. In his confusion, Finny failed to see a figure wearing white face paint leaning against air on the street; the mime, in the act of leaning against air, created an invisible wall for Finny to smack into. Duly dazed, he spiraled down to earth, crashing through the ceiling of LOR mansion. Consternation abounded.

"Great Zot!" DK said as falling masonry blocked his access to Joel Schumacher.

Unfortunately, Finny’s extreme size knocked a large hole in the roof and obliterated the solar cells NTU-150 had set up along with the assistance of Cheryl. NTU had set them up as an energy source, and now the removal of said cells cut off all power in the mansion—and deactivated NTU’s security system.

The Scourge of Baron Zemo’s Lair now surrounded Zemo, casting suspicious glances at the The Lair Legion. Zemo now addressed them. "Jarvis—if this is some foul trick of yours—" and he waved his finger threateningly, banning power glowed brightly around it. Suddenly, he was cut off as he found himself knocked silly, by who knows what.

And a mime stood in his place.

"I say thee nay, spawn of evil!" Donar leaped at the mime, wielding trusty Mjalcom, backed by the power of all Ausgard. "Go back!" he struck at the mime, but the mime only laughed noiselessly as Donar realized he was only hitting air. The mime had placed an invisible wall between them all the time.

"Uh, guys?" Visionary looked around at all the black and white stripes that now surrounded them. "I think we’re in trouble…"

"Really, Visionary, you don’t say…" Space Ghost retorted.

The mimes set upon the BZL’ers, viciously attacking them with imaginary weapons, which still managed to have the effect of the real thing.

"Please don’t hurt Yo." The mimes were unmoved by Yo’s plaintive wail.

KRAKA-THOOM!! Donar and The Late Great Donald Blake doubled teamed the mimes, dealing out their fair share of death and destruction on all sides.

The Shaper of Worlds had called his Sword of Light of Truth and was repelling speechless foes on all sides.

"You’ll…never…take…me…alive!" Dark Knight continued to struggle even though roughly twenty mimes had all dogpiled on him. He bent down further and further to the ground as more and more mimes jumped on the pile. "Never…" he had attempted to reach his communicator and summon the Duck—who would stomp all these mimes into so much tomato paste—and had almost grabbed it before the mimes forced him down.

Banjooooo was knocking away mimes left and right; however, they suddenly started waving the arms around their faces, pretending it was a hot day. Banjooo, deprived of his water tank in the destruction of Lair League Mansion, was bowed down under the imaginary heat of the mimes. Banjooo, as he fell, saw the remaining BZL’ers fall under the imaginary assault of the mimes.

Lights flickered and came on bright as day, rousing the LL from their slumber. A mime stood in front of them. They all leaped to attack, but found themselves fastened securely down with special power-dampener ropes.

The mime waved his finger at them, almost as if to say "Ah—ah!"

"Wait a minute! I know you—you my Anti-Starseed mime double!" Starseed screamed. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The only thing to come up was a weak gasp, since his GAAHH!! power had been neutralized by his bonds.

"I am about two seconds away from banning all these fools!" Zemo thought furiously.

The mime smiled and clapped his hands silently. He began making all sorts of byzantine gestures, all of which did nothing but totally obsfucate his intent and further confuse the BZL’ers.

"Lord in Heaven! Spit it out, man!" DK hollered at Anti-Starseed.

"What are you trying to say!?"

The mime merely pointed at a large screen behind him, on which an image suddenly came to life. Batroc’s voice now came over the PA. "What he ees tryeeng to say, mes amis, ees zat you ‘ave been captured by ze French and we are now goeeng to force you to watch ze Jerry Lewis telathon unteel your brains leak out of ze ears! And you t’ought all ze French were weaklings. Zees’ll learn you! Huhn Huhn Huhn Huhn Hunh!"

"Dear God in Heaven, no!" Dark Knight shouted out loud for them all.