Baron Zemo's lair
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" An epic radio parody by NTU and Tina
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 12:21:05
202.163.231.107 writes:
Hey, guys and gals! Here's a little fairy-tale parody my
girlfriend Tina and I worked on for our Radio Production class.
I thought you guys might like it. I pretty much wrote most of it
while Tina wrote the lyrics and the music of the songs (man, if
only I could make you guys listen to the great songs Tina
composed! Disney would die of envy!) Anyhoo, this is pretty much
done in radio script style so I hope it isn't too confusing.
Anyway...let the program begin!!!
MUSIC: SIG TUNE PLAYS DURING THE FIRST 5 SECONDS. THEN VOICE OF
NARRATOR ENTERS WITH SIG TUNE ON BACKGROUND.
NARRATOR: D-Double B-C MacRaedio proudly presents ... After the
Ever After, written by NTU-150 and with music by Tina.
MUSIC: SIG TUNE FADES OUT.
PRINCE: (EXCITED) It fits!
STEPMOTHER: (IRRITATED) No, Cinderella can’t be the one you’re
looking for. It’s just a coincidence that the shoe fits.
CINDERELLA: (CALM) But look... I have the other slipper.
STEPMOTHER: (GASPS)
PRINCE: It really is you! Cinderella, will you marry me?
MUSIC: HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL OF WEDDING BELLS FOR 5 SECONDS, THEN
FADE OUT.
SFX: DWARFS SOBBING.
SNEEZY: You’re too late, Prince. (BLOWS NOSE) Snow White is
dead.
PRINCE: And yet, she looks so beautiful lying in that glass
coffin. I must give her a farewell kiss. (KISSES SNOW WHITE)
SFX: DWARFS WHISPERING IN EXCITEMENT.
SNEEZY: She awakens!
SNOW WHITE: Oh, my Prince. I knew you’d come.
PRINCE: Snow White, will you marry me?
MUSIC: SAME HAPPY INSTRUMENTAL OF WEDDING BELLS FOR 5 SECONDS,
THEN FADE OUT.
NARRATOR: So Cinderella and Snow White lived happily ever
after... or did they? No, this is not yet the end of their
stories. In fact, this is just the beginning...
SFX: TRUMPET.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 1 BEGINS.
NARRATOR: Our story begins on a pleasant day that seems like any
other. First, we find Snow White in her castle, happily greeting
another day of wedded bliss.
SNOW WHITE: (SINGING)
After the ever after comes
Another day of love, happily in his arms
No longer nanny to the seven dwarfs
Oh, what a joy! I adore my Prince!
SFX: DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.
SNOW WHITE: It’s about time, dear. You took so long in the
bathroom.
PRINCE: That’s because I thought I’d never get this shirt on
straight. Anyway, bye, Snow. I’m off. (GIVES A KISS)
SNOW WHITE: Do you always have to go on these long hunting trips
every week? I always miss you.
PRINCE: Don’t worry, Snow. In three days, I’ll be back. And then
we can have another romantic night together.
SNOW WHITE: But, dear, tonight’s my first ball, remember? You
promised to be here. Can’t you just leave the match early and
come home tonight? Puh-leeeese?
PRINCE: (PERPLEXED) Uh... okay. I guess I could arrange it.
SNOW WHITE: (OVERJOYED) Thank you so much, dear. Okay, bye. Take
care.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Cinderella wakes up in her own castle,
happy to be alive.
CINDERELLA: (SINGING)
I always dreamed for this to come
Now I can hold him close, tenderly in my arms
Free from the clutches of my stepmom and stepsisters
What a life! Oh, I love my Prince!
BABETTE: Good morning, Madam Cinderella. Has Sir Prince arrived
yet?
CINDERELLA: Not yet, Babette. You know how long he takes when he
attends those long meetings with the rulers of the neighboring
kingdoms. Sometimes he spends days out of town. But thank you
for asking.
BABETTE: Well, you know us ladies-in-waiting. We’re always...
waiting. It’s in the name, you know.
CINDERELLA: (CONDESCENDING) Uh... yeah. Right, Babette. (VOICE
BRIGHTENS) Anyway, it gets so lonely around here without him
because he’s been going to so many meetings recently.
BABETTE: Well, Madam, a prince does have many princely duties.
CINDERELLA: I suppose so. Well, tonight, he’ll have one princely
duty in particular to perform... in our bedroom. (GIGGLES WITH
BABETTE THEN SINGS WITH HER)
Oh, what a joy!
I adore my Prince!
BABETTE: (SINGING TOGETHER WITH CINDERELLA)
What a joy!
You adore your Prince!
MUSIC: SONG 1 ENDS. THEN BRIDGE 1 BEGINS.
next: chapter 2 (duh!)
Baron Zemo's lair
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" part II
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 12:32:47
202.163.231.107 writes:
NARRATOR: So everything appears to be fine and dandy in the
lives of our two princesses. However, later that afternoon, as
Snow White prepares for the ball with the help of Happy, the
dwarf...
MUSIC: BRIDGE 1 FADES OUT.
SFX: CLOSET HANGERS BEING PULLED AND BOXES BEING RUMMAGED.
SNOW WHITE: (THOUGHTFUL) Pink satin sling-backs... maroon
brocade sandals... or should I wear these lavender velvet clogs?
How about these purple polka-dot pumps that shoemaker with the
elves made for me? What do you think, Happy? Which best suits my
dress?
HAPPY: (GAY) They’re all gorgeous, Snow White. But if you ask my
opinion, I found the best shoe in the Prince’s closet.
SNOW WHITE: (SURPRISED) Wait a minute, what were you doing in my
husband’s closet?
HAPPY: (EMBARRASSED) Uhmmmm... nothing.
SNOW WHITE: (ANGRY) Happy, you weren’t looking in his underwear
drawer again, were you?
HAPPY: Gimme a break, Snowie. For years, all I’ve seen are the
extra small. It’s not often that I get to see large jocks.
Anyway, let me get the slipper from his closet and I’ll show it
to you.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS GOING AWAY, CLOSET DOOR BEING OPENED AND CLOSED,
AND FOOTSTEPS COMING BACK.
HAPPY: Here it is. Isn’t it the most darling glass slipper ever?
But the other slipper seems to be missing.
SNOW WHITE: (SUSPICIOUS) Hmm... I don't own that. And besides,
why would I wear a glass slipper? That’s so dangerous!
HAPPY: Well I thought that you might have misplaced it. And
besides, it looks custom-made. Hmm, too bad I’m not a size 5.
This would look marvelous on me. Anyway, I’ll go see if I can
find the other half of the pair.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS LEAVING, DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 2 BEGINS.
SNOW WHITE: (VERY SUSPICIOUS, TO HERSELF) This is definitely not
my slipper.(SINGING)
What is this? Could it be
That my Prince is cheating on me?
Will I ever get to find out?
Must I wait until I see?
In my heart I feel this rushing doubt.
Oh, please. Don’t let it be.
MUSIC: SONG 2 ENDS. THEN BRIDGE 2 BEGINS.
NARRATOR: In the other kingdom, Cinderella, being the
responsible homemaker that she is, is supervising the general
cleaning of her own seven-storey, one hundred and fifty bedroom
castle. Unknown to her, she too is about to make a rather
unsettling discovery.
SFX: CLOSET DOOR BEING OPENED, BROOMS SWEEPING THE FLOORS,
SERVANTS TALKING IN THE BACKGROUND, BOXES BEING LIFTED AND
OPENED.
CINDERELLA: (HUMMING THE TUNE OF "A DREAM Is A WISH YOUR HEART
MAKES," THEN COUGHS) My gosh, this Prince of mine is such a
slob. Why do the cute guys always have to be so messy, Babette?
BABETTE: I don’t know, Madam. Somehow, I only get to meet the
neat ones. Well, let’s see how bad things are inside this
cabinet.
SFX: CABINET DOOR BEING OPENED, METAL OBJECTS FALLING AND
COLLAPSING.
BABETTE: Yaaaagh!!!
CINDERELLA: (CONCERNED) Babette, are you okay?
SFX: BABETTE EMERGING FROM PILE OF METAL.
BABETTE: (HURT) Ooohh... I’m fine, Madam. This cabinet is like a
junk pile. It’s stuffed full of old riding britches, armors,
shields...
SFX: METAL CLANKING TOGETHER.
CINDERELLA: Aww, look Babette, he hasn’t thrown away the suit he
wore when we first met at the ball. How sweet of him. This must
be his closet of personal memorabilia.
BABETTE: It all looks like junk to me. Ow! What’s this I’m
sitting on?
SFX: MORE OBJECTS BEING RUMMAGED.
CINDERELLA: Gimme that, Babette. Is this an apple? Why does he
have an apple stashed in here? An apple with a bite, even.
BABETTE: I don’t know, Madam. If you’d excuse me, I think I’d
better go downstairs and get some ice cubes for my bottom.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS LEAVING, DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING.
CINDERELLA: I don’t get it. Why keep an apple? Strange, it has a
bite in it but it isn’t rotting. It looks pretty good. What if I
take a bite?
SFX: CRUNCHING OF AN APPLE, THEN A SWIRLING SOUND. APPLE DROPS
AND ROLLS.
CINDERELLA: (DRUNK) Oh my! I feel tipsy. Thish ish the beshtest
apples I’ve evertastedinmyliffffeee.... (VOICE TRAILS OFF)
SFX: BODY SLUMPING ON FLOOR. SILENCE FOR THREE SECONDS. DOOR
OPENS, SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING, THEN SOUND OF KISS.
PRINCE: Hi, Cindy. I’m home.
CINDERELLA: (DAZED) Wha?? What happened? I must have dozed off.
Oh, hello, dear. When did you get home, my Prince?
PRINCE: I just got in now, Cindy. You can’t imagine how long
these inter-kingdom meetings take. Why were you sleeping on the
floor?
CINDERELLA: I was cleaning and I guess I just got tired.
PRINCE: Cleaning??? Looks more like you were making a mess.
CINDERELLA: You’re one to talk. Your closet’s like a scrap heap.
By the way, I found this apple inside your closet. Why do you
have this?
PRINCE: (PERPLEXED) Uhh... nothing. It’s probably just my lunch
which I forgot to throw out. Oh, Cindy, I just remembered. I
have to leave tonight to go to another meeting.
CINDERELLA: (DISGUSTED) What???!!! You’re leaving again? But you
just got home.
PRINCE: It’s an emergency. Anyway, I’ve got to go downstairs and
fix up my horse. See you later.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS LEAVING, DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 3 BEGINS.
CINDERELLA: (SINGING)
Is there someone else for him?
Are the colors of my rainbow turning dim?
Should I face this fear tomorrow?
Will I wake to find him here?
What if he decides to leave me all alone?
Can happy endings be ever made of tears?
MUSIC: SONG 3 ENDS.
next: chapter III (but of course, you knew that!)
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" part III
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 12:43:27
202.163.231.107 writes:
SFX: PHONE RINGING, PHONE BEING PICKED UP.
CINDERELLA: Hello?
LITTLE RED: Hello? Is this Cinderella? This is Little Red Riding
Hood!
CINDERELLA: Oh, hi, Cousin Red. Hey, you have a phone over there
in the Woods?
LITTLE RED: Yup, we’re not so deprived anymore. Isn’t that cool?
CINDERELLA: That’s lovely, Red! So, how are you?
LITTLE RED: Well, you know how busy it can get in the Woods,
being eaten by wolves and all. It can get pretty tiring, you
know.
CINDERELLA: How’s Grandma?
LITTLE RED: Oh, she’s fine. Still alive and kicking. You
wouldn’t believe how old-fashioned she can get, insisting that I
wear this tacky red riding hood all the time. And you, how’s it
like being a Princess in that castle of yours?
CINDERELLA: Pretty okay, I guess.
LITTLE RED: How’s your husband?
CINDERELLA: (HESITANT) Well, he’s okay too.
LITTLE RED: You don’t sound okay. Is anything wrong?
CINDERELLA: I don’t know, Red. I was fixing his room a while
ago, and I found an apple in his closet of memories together
with the suit he wore the night we first met. I never gave him
an apple. So why was it there? Also, he keeps leaving for these
meetings almost regularly. He just got home and now he has to
leave again. (SIGHS) Maybe I’m just paranoid.
LITTLE RED: Well, actually, that’s why I called. Okay, how do I
say this? Cousin, I think your man’s fooling around. (SILENCE
FOR 2 SECONDS) Cindy? Cousin Cinderella? Are you still there?
CINDERELLA: (AGHAST) What makes you say that?
LITTLE RED: Well, my best friend Alice, you know, from
Wonderland was having tea with the Mad Hatter last Tuesday and
he said that Goldilocks told him that Thumbelina told her that
your Prince was seen getting it on with this woman from another
kingdom. And this girl had hair as black as coal and skin as
white as snow. I’m telling you, Cousin, your hubby’s having an
affair with a kabuki.
CINDERELLA: How did they know it was my husband? It could’ve
been some woodsman out there. These are what many divorces are
made of, you know -- unfounded suspicions.
LITTLE RED: I hate to say this, Cindy, but you’re just being
dense, girl. You’re in denial. The fish is right under your nose
and you can’t even smell it. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
CINDERELLA: So what should I do?
LITTLE RED: Hmm... well, you said he’s leaving tonight. I think
you should stall him, Cindy. Keep him home for as long as you
can. See if he gets nervous. Then when he leaves, try to follow
him secretly. Find out his dirty little secret.
CINDERELLA: You know what? I just might try that. Thanks, Cousin
Red.
NARRATOR: Later that night, Snow White finds herself all alone
at the ball. Her husband was nowhere in sight.
SFX: PEOPLE TALKING AND LAUGHING. UTENSILS CLANKING.
MUSIC: WALTZ.
GIRL 1: (WHISPERING) Pssst. Have you noticed that Snow White is
all by herself?
GIRL 2: (WHISPERING) I know. Okay, you didn’t hear this from me.
But I heard her husband is seeing this chick from another
kingdom.
GIRL 1: Really? The poor girl. I wonder if she knows.
GIRL 2: Oh, princesses are dumb. She’s probably clueless about
the whole thing. (BOTH LAUGH)
SNOW WHITE: Good evening, ladies.
GIRL 1 & 2: (SURPRISED) Good evening, Snow White.
SNOW WHITE: Is everything all right?
GIRL 2: (UNEASY) Oh, yes. We were just... laughing at a joke she
told me. Excuse us.
SNOW WHITE: All right.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS WALKING AWAY.
SNOW WHITE: (TO HERSELF) Where is he? He promised to be here. I
think I’ll go out to the balcony for a breath of fresh air.
SFX: SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS, THEN SNOW WHITE INHALING. THEN SOUND OF
BUSH SHAKING.
SNOW WHITE: Wha?? That bush is moving! Is there something
inside? (SHOCKED) Oh, it’s you, Sneezy!
SNEEZY: (SNEEZES) Snow White, I have urgent news. Okay, brace
yourself. I think your husband’s cheating on you. (SNEEZES)
SNOW WHITE: (FLUSTERED) What? And where did you get that?
SNEEZY: (SNEEZES) Well, the guys and I were by the brook the
other (SNEEZES) day and we saw the Three Little Pigs who told us
that they saw your Prince bathing in the Nosgoth River with this
girl who had the weirdest name. I think it was Smoke, no Ash...
Ashley... Cinder... Cinderelly, or something. (SNEEZES) People
say she has a thing for pumpkins and glass footwear.
SNOW WHITE: Glass footwear? That slipper Happy found... I knew
it. Where did you say he was seen? Nosgoth? I’ll bet he’s there
right now. Well, I’m going to go right over there and find him.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS RUNNING OFF.
next: chapter...um...what's after III?...oh yeah... chapter IV
Baron Zemo's lair
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" part IV
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 12:50:11
202.163.231.107 writes:
NARRATOR: We find the Prince hurriedly riding to Snow White’s
ball, with his faithful steed and his loyal parrot sidekick,
Charot.
SFX: HORSE GALLOPING.
PRINCE: Darn that Cinderella! She just had to insist we have
dinner late. I told her I had to rush off. Now I’m late! Women
are such pain, Charot.
CHAROT: Then why did you marry two of them?
PRINCE: Hey, I’m a Prince, and I’m a hunk. I can have as many
girls as I want. It’s just such a hassle juggling these two
chicks. Half a week with one, a few days with the other. It’s
tiring, but man, are they worth it. They’re sooo hot.
CHAROT: And if they find out about each other, you’re sooo dead.
I don’t get you sometimes. Do you have some kind of death wish?
PRINCE: Look, Charot, one girl takes spiked apples from
strangers and the other rides a mouse-powered pumpkin to
parties. I’m telling you, those wives of mine are too dumb to
even suspect a thing.
SFX: HORSES GALLOPING AND THE WHEELS OF A CARRIAGE ROLLING
CHAROT: (WHISPERS) Shut up, fool! A carriage is coming straight
at us and your wife’s in it!
PRINCE: Which wife?
CHAROT: The anemic one.
SFX: ALL HORSES STOP GALLOPING.
PRINCE: (NERVOUS) H-Hi, Snow White! I’m so sorry I’m late for
the ball.
SNOW WHITE: (ANGRY) Don’t you have something else to say "sorry"
for?
PRINCE: (EVEN MORE NERVOUS) What do you mean?
SNOW WHITE: (SARCASTIC) Oh, I don’t know. How about for having
another woman!!!
CHAROT: (TO HIMSELF) Here we go.
SNOW WHITE: (INFURIATED) How could you do this to me?! How could
you have a woman on the side?
SFX: BUSHES RUSTLING LOUDLY
CINDERELLA: Yes, darling, why don’t you explain it to me, too?
PRINCE: (SURPRISED) Cinderella! What are you doing in those
bushes?
CINDERELLA: (ANGRY BUT RESTRAINED) I followed you, dear. You’re
not the only one who knows how to sneak around. So, this is
where you’ve been going all those times you’ve been away.
SNOW WHITE: Wait a minute, Prince. You mean all those times you
said you were going to a hunting match, you were seeing her?
CINDERELLA: Well... Snow White, is it? At least I was a hunting
match. He said you were a town meeting. I can just imagine why.
SNOW WHITE: (OFFENDED) How dare you speak to me that way! I’m
the wife of the Prince!
CINDERELLA: No you’re not! You’re just a dwarf-lovin’ mime! I’m
the wife of the Prince!
SNOW WHITE: Why you little...
CINDERELLA: Yaaaaaagghh! Let go of my hair!
SFX: SOUNDS OF A STRUGGLE. SOUND OF KICK.
SNOW WHITE: Oooff! Hey! You kicked me!
CINDERELLA: Eeeeee! No biting!! No biting!!
PRINCE: Ladies! Ladies! Can’t we deal with this like civilized
human beings?
SFX: SOUNDS OF STRUGGLE STOP.
CINDERELLA: You know, Snow White, he’s right. We can’t just walk
up to each other and beat each other silly. That won’t solve
anything. We’re civilized people. That’s why we should go to
war.
SNOW WHITE: What? What do you mean "war?"
CINDERELLA: War. Just you and me, sister. You gather your forces
and I’ll gather mine. Then by this time in two days, we’ll all
meet at that cliff by the ocean. We’ll battle it out, you can
throw your apples or something, until only one group is left
standing. The winner gets the prince.
SNOW WHITE: You’re on!
PRINCE: (HYSTERICAL) Are you two crazy? Can’t we talk this over?
CINDERELLA: It’s too late for talk, you two-timer. You can go
home to mom, the Queen, and stay there until we finish this.
SNOW WHITE: And you can be sure that no matter who wins, you’re
gonna have to answer for this whole mess.
PRINCE: I can’t belive this is happening.
CHAROT: I can’t believe this didn’t happen sooner.
PRINCE: (IRRITATED) Shut up, Charot.
MUSIC: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
next: guess...yup...chapter V
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" part V
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 13:23:05
202.163.231.134 writes:
MUSIC: SIG TUNE FOR 5 SECONDS.
NARRATOR: And so our two princesses head off to their respective
homes, both wondering what course of action to take. Cinderella,
once more, calls and seeks counsel from her cousin, Little Red
Riding Hood.
CINDERELLA: And that’s the whole story, Cousin Red. So it’s a
final showdown in two days.
LITTLE RED: So what are you going to do, Cindy?
CINDERELLA: I guess I’ll just have to seek the help of
my...(PAUSE) Wait, Red. I have an incoming call. I’ll put you on
hold for a minute. Hello?
FAIRY G-MOM: Hello? Cinderella?
CINDERELLA: Oh, hello, Fairy God Mother. I’m so glad you called.
I was just about to call you. I need your help.
FAIRY G-MOM: Are you pregnant, my child? Do you need a midwife?
There’s this monkey that I could transform and...
CINDERELLA: Good Mother! No, I’m not pregnant, so I don’t need
your monkey. But my husband, on the other hand, has been
monkeying around. I found out that he has been seeing this girl
called Snow White, that...son of a witch!
FAIRY G-MOM: Is that the stupid girl who got into that food
poisoning incident with her mom’s apples?
CINDERELLA: Yeah, she’s the bimbo who shared a room with seven
h---- dwarfs.
FAIRY G-MOM: When did you find out about her?
CINDERELLA: Yesterday. First I found this apple in his closet
and then Little Red Riding Hood called and...oh wait, I left
Cousin Red on hold. I totally forgot. Wait a moment, Fairy God
Mom. (Pause) Hello? Hello, Red?
SFX: WOLF ROARING, SNARLING THEN A BURP.
CINDERELLA: (CALMLY) Oh, swell, she got eaten by the wolf again.
I’d better call her later. (PAUSE) Hello, Fairy God Mother?
Anyway, at first, I didn’t want to believe. But there were so
many nights when he wasn’t in my bed. There were so many days
when I felt I was sharing his heart with someone else. He would
give me a blank stare...a look totally void of any feeling.
Truly, happy endings never happen, not even in fairy tale land.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 4 BEGINS.
CINDERELLA: (SINGING)
Will you tell me what to do?
Oh, Fairy God Mom
Will you please come?
I have something important to say.
I had a fight
With this Snow White,
For she took my dear Prince away.
FAIRY G-MOM: Poor child... you’ve gotten so corny. What do you
want me to do then?
CINDERELLA: I want you to turn Snow White into a pumpkin or
something! I have a showdown with her tomorrow and I need you
there. I want my prince back in my bed. After that, I’m going to
throw that pumpkin over a cliff!
FAIRY G-MOM: My child, you have truly changed! You’re not the
same Cindy I used to know. I’m only glad Disney isn’t alive to
see you now.
CINDERELLA: (SINGING)
But there's someone else for him.
Now the colors of my rainbow have turned him.
I must face this fear tomorrow.
I will fight to have him near.
And he won't decide to leave me all alone.
Then happy endings will never end in tears.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 4 ENDS.
FAIRY G-MOM: Anyway, don’t fret, Cinderella. I’ll be there in a
second.
SFX: BELLS RINGING. I
MUSIC: BRIDGE 3 BEGINS.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Snow White too was gathering up her forces.
Unfortunately, after realizing that her most powerful friends
were seven short men, she decided that she had to swallow her
pride and ask the aid of her step-mother, the evil queen.
MUSIC: BRIDGE 3 ENDS.
SFX: SOUNDS OF CRACKLING FIRE, UNEARTHLY CHANTING.
EVIL QUEEN: Am I dreaming, or am I just too old? For what
strange spell has brought you here, my dear Snow White? Have you
come to pay your dues, or is it you need a cure for the flu? Did
you come to curse, or need money from my purse? That rhymes now,
doesn’t it?
SNOW WHITE: Mother, must you rhyme?
EVIL QUEEN: Does it bother you, daughter?
SNOW WHITE: Yes.
EVIL QUEEN: Then I must. (LAUGHS)
SNOW WHITE: (DISGUSTED) Mother, I came to seek your help.
EVIL QUEEN: But why? What’s the matter, peanut butter?
SNOW WHITE: (IRRITATED) Mother, please...impossible as it may
seem, I still believe in your powers. Bitter as it may sound,
blood is still thicker than water. My husband has betrayed me.
He has another wife named Cinderella. So, mother, I need your
help. I have a battle with this woman and I need your spells. I
want my prince to come kneeling back to me! I should be his only
love! Oh, how could he fall in love with a girl who talks to
mice and has a pumpkin for a carriage? What ever possesed him to
entertain a girl who stupidly leaves her shoes?
EVIL QUEEN: Watch your words, Snow White! How did he ever go for
a girl like you who flirts around with seven midgets?
SNOW WHITE: (IRRITATED) Mother! Don’t embarrass me!
EVIL QUEEN: User! You only come here when you need something.
Want, want, want! What about the time I got a foot rash, huh?
Remember that? And what about that time when I was so depressed
because that goblin left me? And what about when your dumb
dwarfs dropped me over a cliff? What did you do? Nada! Nothing!
What about when I was undergoing menopause?
SNOW WHITE: (IMPATIENT) Okay! If you help me, I promise to visit
more often! I have no more time for all this nonsense. Will you
help me or not?
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 5 BEGINS.
SNOW WHITE: (SINGING)
I have nowhere else to go.
Oh, Evil Stepmom.
To you, I come.
For I want my dear Prince to stay.
I need a hand.
I'd like to demand
That you put Cinderella away.
EVIL QUEEN: My idiot girl, you'd go through all this trouble for
some two-timing worm? Why bother?
SNOW WHITE: (SINGING)
Even though I've finally found out
He was never true to me.
In my heart, I love him-- there's no doubt.
Oh, please. Don't let him leave.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 5 ENDS.
EVIL QUEEN: (TAUNTING) Well, who else is going to help you,
Hansel and Gretel? Just give me a minute to get dressed.
next: chapter VI of course!
"AFTER THE EVER AFTER" part VI
Wednesday, 21-Oct-98 13:39:15
202.163.231.134 writes:
MUSIC: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THEN UNDER.
NARRATOR: And so, with their armies formed and ready, Snow White
and Cinderella brought their little bands to the cliff the very
next day and prepared to do battle.
MUSIC: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ENDS.
SFX: WAVES CRASHING AGAINST THE ROCKS BELOW, WITH A SLIGHT
BREEZE. HOLD FOR 3 SECONDS.
CINDERELLA: (OFF MIC, WITH ECHO) Are you ready, Snow White?
SNOW WHITE: (OFF MIC, WITH ECHO) I’m ready,
Cinderella. May the best princess win.
SFX: SILENCE FOR 3 SECONDS.
CINDERELLA: (SHOUTS) Now, Fairy God Mother!
MUSIC: LIVELY, ACTION MUSIC.
SFX: ENERGY CHARGING UP.
FAIRY G-MOM: Let’s see how they like a giant pumpkin on their
heads. Bippity Bobbity Boo!
SFX: SOUND OF PUMPKIN DROPPING AND GETTING SQUASHED.
SNOW WHITE: They almost got us with that pumpkin! Good thing it
missed. Get them, mother!
EVIL QUEEN: Okay, here we go. Flying apple attack!!!
SFX: APPLES FLYING AND ZIPPING AROUND LIKE BULLETS.
CINDERELLA: Attack now, my mice friends!
SNOW WHITE: Go get them, dwarfs!
SFX: DWARFS AND MICE BATTLING EACH OTHER.
EVIL QUEEN: So, you’re supposed to be something of a magician,
aren’t you, Fairy Fat Lady? Well, let’s see how you deal with my
black magic. Take this!
SFX: SOUND EFFECTS OF POWER BLAST.
FAIRY G-MOM: Nice spell, but you missed. Let’s see how you deal
with a barrage of fairy dust!
SFX: TWINKLING NOISE, THEN MANY EXPLOSIONS.
EVIL QUEEN: Ow! That hurt, you flying lardball! I’m going to rip
those wings off your blubbery back!
MUSIC: LIVELY ACTION MUSIC FADES OUT. THEN BRIDGE 4 BEGINS.
NARRATOR: While this entire melee is taking place, we find the
prince, with the faithful Charot at his side, hiding behind some
bushes not too far away from the battlefield.
MUSIC: BRIDGE 4 ENDS.
PRINCE: (TROUBLED) What am I going to do, Charot? This is
madness.
CHAROT: I told you, prince , you’ve gotta drop one of them or
drop ‘em both. If you don’t, they’re liable to drop you down a
snake pit.
PRINCE: But why can’t I have them both, Charot? I love them
both.
MUSIC: MUSIC FOR SONG 6 BEGINS.
PRINCE:
(SINGING)
To them is where my heart belongs.
Now I must find a way to right this shameful wrong.
Why is this so confusing?
Is this some tragic ending I must bring?
Do I have the strength to face this and go on.
I can't go on.
SFX: STRAY BLAST AND EXPLOSION INTERRUPTS PRINCE’S SONG.
MUSIC: SONG 6 IS INTERRUPTED.
CHAROT: This isn’t the time to break into song, you idiot! Take
cover!
PRINCE: (BRAVELY) No, Charot. You were right. I must choose one
of them. I must decide. (STRAINS AT THINKING) Uuunnnngh! Yes! I
have decided! Now I must go out there and stop this insanity!
SFX: MANLY FOOTSTEPS RUNNING AWAY, THEN FADING OUT.
MUSIC: LIVELY, ACTION MUSIC FADES IN.
EVIL QUEEN: (EXHAUSTED) You are good, Fairy. But let’s see how
you deal with the infernal flames of a black dragon! Powers of
hell, transform me!!!
SFX: DRAGON ROARS AND BREATHES FIRE.
FAIRY G-MOM: Two can play at that game, Queen!
Bippity...Boppity... BOOOOOO!!!!
SFX: DRAGON ROARS AND BREATHES FIRE, THEN MANLY FOOTSTEPS
SUDDENLY APPROACHING.
PRINCE: (EXHAUSTED FROM RUNNING) Wait! Stop this! I have decided
to choose one girl!
CINDERELLA: What the...? Snow White, look! It’s our husband!
There, by the cliff!
SNOW WHITE: (PANICKED) Oh no! He’s running into the line of
fire! The dragons will fry him!
BOTH GIRLS: (SHOUTING) Look out, prince!!!
PRINCE: What?
SFX: FLAMES SHOOT OUT; AN EXPLOSION.
PRINCE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
MUSIC: LIVELY ACTION MUSIC FADES OUT QUICKLY.
SFX: A LOUD SPLASH THEN MUFFLED BUBBLING SOUND.
PRINCE: (WHISPERY WITH ECHO) This is how it ends, I suppose. To
die in the depths of the ocean. Goodbye, my loves. At least now,
I will find some peace away from women.
MUSIC: HUMMING PORTION OF "PART OF YOUR WORLD."
PRINCE: Huh? W-who is that? Wha...a mermaid?
ARIEL: Hi, I'm Ariel. You're cute.
SEBASTIAN: Ariel, who are you bringing down here this time?
MUSIC: LAST BAR OF "UNDER THE SEA" THEN ENDING TUNE BEGINS.
NARRATOR: That concludes today’s story...After the Ever After.
After the Ever After is a production of D-double B-C MacRae-dio.
MUSIC (R): ENDING TUNE FADES OUT.
THE END!
TA-DAH! Whew!