“Any idea why spiffy called this meeting?” Fin Fang Foom asked.
   “Nope,” Banjooooo replied, “He just said that he’d found something we all had to see.  He’d better not be showing off his frog collection again…”
   “Actually, I think they’re kinda cute,” Lisa cut in.
   “Lisa!” Banjooooo cried, shocked, “They’re frogs!”
   “No, I meant really cute.  Not as in sexual cute.  Not EVERYTHING I say involves sex.”
   “Oh… well… sorry, Lisa.”
   “Aw, that’s okay, lil’ monkey… and did I mention that YOU look cute today?”
   “Ah… that was sexual, wasn’t it?”
   “You betcha,” she said, winking.
   Banjooooo was saved by a call from the other room.  “Guys!  Come see this!”  They rushed through the door to find a crowd of their fellow Legionnaires gathered around a table.
   “What’s going on?” Finny asked.
   “Zip and Fleabot are having a chess showdown!” Visionary cried excitedly, “And they’re letting me watch!”
   “They’re letting us all watch, dear,” Cheryl muttered patiently.
   “Well, yeah… but me especially.”
   “That’s right, just keep thinking that,” she sighed.
   “Come on guys, I can’t see!” Finny complained, trying to peer over his teammates’ shoulders.  Giving up, he transformed to his dragon shape to watch.  Fleabot and Zip were hunched over the board, each of them concentrating fiercely.  They made their moves at a great speed, making it almost impossible to follow.  It wasn’t clear who was winning, so Visionary asked.
   “I am,” both robots replied.
   “Oookay…” Visionary replied, his brow wrinkling as he tried to figure out how they could both win.
   “Hey, everybody!” called a voice from the doorway.  The Legion turned around to find Space Ghost, holding a beer in one hand, with the other around the Auto-Censor’s shoulders.  “Howsh it going?”
   “Ahh!  Cheryl, don’t look!” Visionary cried in alarm.
   “I’ve seen it before, dear,” she replied.
   “Uh… by ‘Cheryl’ I meant Banjooooo, ‘cause he’s underage,” Visionary said, thinking quickly.
   “Auto-Censor, are you… drunk?” Starseed asked incredulously.
   “I am not impaired!  Remove the yellow otters from the room!  Take pants off!  Say h----!  H----!  I can’t say h----!”
   “Hesh my good buddy now,” Space Ghost said, staggering.  “Ishnt that right, Chenshor?”
   “Um… Ghosty?  Come watch Fleabot and Zip play chess,” Starseed said cautiously.
   “Y’okay,” Space Ghost said, then fell flat on the floor.
   “Or that works too,” Banjooooo said dryly.  The group turned back to the game, but it was no more clear than before, so they started talking amongst themselves.  No one had any idea why spiffy had called this meeting, and some of them were ready to leave.  Yo arrived with his purple bunny, but s/he was equally clueless.
   “spiffy call Yo-being and happy purple bunny and say come here to see pretty things happen,” Yo explained, “So Yo-being come on flying to HQ and find happy friends.”
   “Uh huh… so where is spiffy?” Starseed pondered.
   “Right here!” called another voice from the doorway.  It was spiffy, Elsqueevio and the caveguy with him.
   “Ehhheeeehee… kill puuuuurple… hello,” Elsqueevio muttered.
   “Hooga,” the caveguy said simply.
   “Okay, spiffy, what’s this all about?” Banjooooo asked.
   “I found out where my powers came from!” spiffy cried triumphantly.
   “Really?  Where?”
   Before spiffy could answer, disaster struck.  Yo’s purple bunny, who had until then been chewing on the sofa, hopped around in front of Yo, allowing Elsqueevio to see it.  He went berserk.
   “Aaaah!  Puuuurple!  Must kiiiiiiiill!!!!” he shrieked, leaping forward.  Startled, the bunny froze in place.  Yo instinctively shielded the bunny, thinking that s/he was a brick wall.  So, of course, s/he was.  Elsqueevio slammed into the Yo-wall and slid off, shook his head, and leapt to his feet.  “No, bad!  Must kill purple!  I am the God of Small Waters!  Defy me not!”
   “Why little psycho man attack Yo’s bunny?” Yo asked plaintively.
   “Ah… sorry, Yo,” Cheryl broke in, “I taught him to hate purple instead of beavers… I thought it would be good, knowing how Zemo wears purple… I forgot about your bunny.”
   “Yo forgive Cheryl.  But not little psycho man.  He not good.”
   “Oh, no!  Sorry!” Finny said apologetically behind them.  When Elsqueevio had attacked, Finny had still been watching the chess game.  He had been startled, whirled around, and knocked the board over with his tail.  Zip and Fleabot just sat there.
   “Our game seems to have been overturned,” Zip said finally.
   “Indeed.  Fin Fang Foom… could we talk to you alone for a minute?” Fleabot said somewhat menacingly.
   “What?  Guys, come on… it was an accident,” Finny said, backing away, “Guys, don’t look at me like that… I didn’t mean it… AAAAHHH!!!” he screamed, running out the front door, the pair of robots in hot pursuit.  Visionary sighed.
   “I guess we’ll never know who would win.”
   “They could always play again, honey.”
   “Fake man!” Elsqueevio cried joyfully.
   “I’m real, dammit!  Cheryl, tell Elsqueevio I’m real.”
   “I think he’s enjoying himself, dear.”
   Visionary sighed again.  “Elsqueevio?  Hi there.  Could you get off my leg?”
   “Excuse me!” spiffy yelled, getting their attention again.  “I was saying something!  Hey… where’d Lisa and Banjooooo go?”  Sure enough, they were nowhere to be seen.
   “Guess that underage thing didn’t matter all that much,” Finny said smugly.
   “Never mind, I’ll tell you guys.  Remember that whole fern thing?  The one that got away?” spiffy asked.  “Well here it is!”  He raised his arm and the fern poked out his sleeve.  The Lair Legion reacted instantly.
   “Ahh!  The fern!” Starseed screamed, then ran to cower in a corner.
   “Get it!” Cheryl yelled.  The heroes advanced on spiffy, intent on ripping the fern away and ending its life.  Elsqueevio was eyeing Yo’s bunny, until Yo gave him a dirty look.
   “No, guys… waitasec… fine, never mind…” spiffy took on a concentrated look for a second, then his body was enveloped in a green carapace.  He raised both arms and fern tendrils shot out, grabbing his attackers.
   “It’s got spiffy!  I can break out of this!” Starseed yelled.
   “No, Starseed, stop it!” spiffy cried.  He had been ready to shoot out a burst of GAAAHHH! energy, but he held it in, grimacing as the energies burned his innards.  “All of you, listen!” spiffy continued, “The fern’s the source of my powers!  It hooks onto walls to let me fly, and it can shoot out the energy it absorbs.
   The Lair Legion looked uncertain.  “Okay, why haven’t we seen it before?” Visionary asked skeptically.
   “It was, like… absorbing light or something to make itself invisible.”
   “So where does it get this energy from?” Cheryl asked.
   “Come on, I don’t let it suck energy from you guys.  Just the sun, and stuff like that.”
   “So you can shoot out bursts of energy?” Starseed asked.
   “Uh… yeah… but it takes a long time to reload… and they’re not all that powerful.”
   “Ha, you’re still a wuss,” he gloated.
   “Oh, quiet, you,” spiffy said, tightening the tendrils around Starseed’s midsection.  The hero paused midlaugh, as the breath was forced out of his body.
   “Space Ghost!” came Auto-Censor’s voice, “You’ll pay for this!  You’ll pay dearly!”  He shot upwards and through the ceiling, showering Space Ghost’s prone body with debris.  The Legionnaires stood in awkward silence.
   “Guess he can’t hold a drink,” Visionary decided.  “Hey, where ARE Banjooooo and Lisa?”
   “Huh?  Over here,” Banjooooo called from the hall, “I was just explaining my water tank’s filter system to Lisa.”
   “Uh huh.  Call it whatever you want,” Visionary said mockingly.
   “What?  No, really!  She wanted to know!”
   “I bet she did,” Starseed smiled.
   “What, you think we… We didn’t!!  I showed her the filter, that’s it!”
   “Omigod, the fern has spiffy!” Lisa screamed from behind Banjooooo.  spiffy just groaned and walked out the door as his teammates tried to explain the situation again.