Atmospheric conditions within the Parodyverse made visibility absolutely nullified .

The LoR and Zemo’s band of intrepid villains were completely powerless to defend themselves.

Within one telling hour, the Parodyverse was lost.

No one knew who the new ruling power was . . . they were silent and brutal; and their first victim, due to his massive and uncontrollable power, was Starseed.

His Gaaaaaaaaaaah power was rendered useless, by some unexplainable virus . . . and his hideous screams resonated for days through the very souls of his teammates.

And the Dark Knight had vanished, demoralized after returning to his senses after the whole Joel Schumacher scenario.

The Parodyverse was in the ruling hands of a combined force so deadly that it would require all of the denizens at their most healthy state to repel this vile treat . . . and Lisa’s newly found taste for Chocolate Sprinkles was destroyed.

With this vile act, the Parodyverse was assured of its own horrible annihilation . . .

The Parodyverse had fallen.

Lisa’s sprinkle arsenal had disappeared, with no chance of ever being seen again.

The Dark Knight had vanished, leaving the ranks of the Parodyverse itself mightily depleted.

But Jarvis rallied the troops.

Jarvis yelled, "He’s just a man. He has no powers; he’s just flesh and blood. I don’t think even he could find a way out of this. We’re on our own. The Knight deserted us; we’ve become too dependent on his skills. We need to strike back . . ."

And, bewildered, the denizens of the Parodyverse banded together for a strike against the ruling force that kept them down.

They made preparations for a strike . . .

which, for the dragon known as Fin Fang Foom, meant shooting a music video with Liv Tyler and Aerosmith.

The video was an instant success; but, then again, the main star was a shape-shifting dragon.

After such foolishness, the heroes gathered their equipment, ready to attack.

They made the surprisingly easy trek to the headquarters of the new ruling party . . .

And witnessed its complete and unexpected explosion.

The League of Regulars watched, fascinated, as the headquarters of their unnamed nemesis burned.

Concussive bursts of energy slammed into their bodies . . . and the League fell.

But spiffy and Jarvis drew upon the heroism which guided their souls . . . and gallantly stormed the smoldering remnants of the building.

Visionary, Yo, Lisa, and the dragon known as Fin Fang Foom decided to amuse themselves with the homicidal mime horde launched against them.

Inside the remains, Jarvis and spiffy both screamed in pain, horror, and fear . . . and as the other Leaguers rushed in, . .they discovered that their friends and teammates were gone.

Fin Fang Foom had had enough.

"What’s going on? Show yourselves, you cowards! Who’s running this cockamamie show?"

The lights dimmed . . . then a gravelly voice spoke.

"I’ve taken your wife, Visionary . . . she’ll serve nicely as a slave for me. As for Jami, Foomster, don’t worry. I have . . . plans . . . for her, which will be served nicely by Lisa’s chocolate sprinkles."

Lisa angrily charged the black-robed individual.

"Listen, buster, I don’t know who you are, but I’ve sure as hell had enough of this."

Strangely, GAAAAAAAAAAAH power slammed into them all . . . catching even the shape-shifting Fin Fang Foom unaware.

Starseed stood before them.

"Stop. These people know what they’re talking about. We’ve got to join up with them; they have an answer to everything."

Finny asked, "What people? What do you mean?"

And the lights returned, revealing . . .

Nothing, for the lights were promptly killed again.

Out of the darkness, a familiar voice was heard . . . familiar, but changed.

"You’ve taken their freedom. You’ve driven me insane, caused me to become an accessory to murder. You’re a direct personification of everything I’ve ever stood against, ever since I donned my cape and cowl. You fight for political power and wealth . . .

The people who’ve you’ve harmed by your actions . . .

From the gothic shadows, a scuffle was heard . . . and not even NTU-150’s technological genius could restore light to the darkened battleground.

But then, the familiar voice also screamed in pain . . .

The League lost consciousness . . .

In a subterranean lair, an egomaniacal being smiled.

"Their annihilation has begun."

Fin Fang Foom lay upon his bed in the League of Regulars headquarters, trying to make sense out of the insanity he’d just heard.

Some unseen force had corrupted Starseed. He’d recommended that the League abandon every moral they’d ever had; forsake freedom for the guiding light of some unknown governmental organization.

The Dark Knight had apparently returned, if only abruptly . . . and the fragile Knight had disappeared once again, apparently a victim of the new ruling party.

Jami had returned, strangely, and was unable to remember anything about her experience. Save for the fact that . . .

Jami: There were all kinds of concentration camps all over . . . and they blamed the League for them. It was so horrible . . . Finny, they had MIMES in those gas chambers. Finny, they were killing weak, pathetic, helpless societal freaks. It . . . it was so horrible . . . just . . . just hold me . . . "

Finny: . . .

Jami, unbidden, wrapped her arms around the dragon-in-human-form.

In her room, Lisa tried to . . . comfort . . . Yo with her meager supply of CoolWhip and sprinkles. Yo’s energy abilities made for an easy escape.

Lisa: *Sob* I WANT MY JARVIKINS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SOB*

Space Ghost was blissfully unaware of all occurrences, still wandering around pants-less.

NTU-150 almost returned to the Happy Place, but stopped short, realizing . . .

NTU-150: Hey, I’ve gotta help Visionary regain Cheryl. He’s completely flippin’ out.

Suddenly, Cheryl stood in the doorway.

Perfectly normal.

Cheryl: Don’t worry, dear, I just stepped out for a quick walk."

LoR, simultaneously: DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WOMAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

Cheryl: I . . . don’t . . . remember . . . I just ended up here . . . I’m . .. Everything’s so distorted.

Space Ghost: Heard THAT . . . must . . . find . . . pants . . .

Fin Fang Foom, pale and shocked, entered the room.

FFF: Ok, something’s screwy here. Jami can remember where she was, but why can’t Cheryl? Something’s seriously wrong here . . .

A knock on the door startled them all.

The door opened, revealing . . .BARON ZEMO.

BZ: As much as I detest doing this, I must . . . we must band together, heroes. All of my team has completely vanished.

FFF: DEAR GOD.

All: What?

FFF: I just did some research . . . and there ARE concentration camps in the Parodyverse. They used to use them on horrible writers and such back in the 60’s and time periods like that when telling good stories was the norm, not the occasional occurrence.

And . . . and . . . those concentration camps are supposed to be right where our friends disappeared.

A broken, battered body sits upon what amounts to a throne.

His body’s current state is due to his most hated nemesis:

The superhero organization known as the League of Regulars.

This man had a stellar, even legendary reputation until the formation of the League.

Now, he was nothing but a mere shadow of his former self.

Literally, the man formerly known as John Byrne was forced to spend his days as a spirit . . . until, he realized that he could take over the body of Todd McFarlane.

Byrne: He’s obviously not using his brain for anything, and, hey, I’ll get . . . fringe benefits . . . from his wife.

So, Byrne/McFarlane instituted the reformation of the Anti-Comic-Book-Creators.

Within a six month span, the league consisting of comics’ worst creators were ready to wreak havoc on the Parodyverse in a manner never concieved of by mortal man.

And Byrne’s ego was anything but that of a conventional human.

Firstly, their plan was to eliminate the Dark Knight.

Byrne: He’s just far too talented for our purposes. We can’t afford having him in the way.

So the ACBC contacted someone whom the Knight despised, someone whom the Knight considered to be just as malevolently vile as Satan himself.

Joel Schumacher: I’ll be glad to help in any way possible, my dear Byrne. I’ve always wanted to make a big-screen epic about the legendary Zemo’s Lair. But that pesky Knight just kept trying to violently remove my spleen from the rest of my body. It just wasn’t a very politically correct move.

Byrne: SHUT up. I want you to drive HIM insane.

And they didn’t stop there.

They contacted a visibly shaken marijuana smoking vampire . . .

Count Bunghulio, or so he called himself.

The Count: Though those vile Assassins are not involved in this, I will gladly aid your cause. Good stories interrupt my . . . hobbies ...

Elder: No one knowwwwwwwwwwws . . . the trouble I’ve seeeeeeeeeeeeeen .. . No one knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws my sorrrrrowwwwwwwww . . .

Byrne: . . .

Elder: It’s a small world, afterrrrrrrr allllllllllll . . .

Byrne: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I AM THE ALMIGHTY AND EVERLASTING JOHN/TODD BYRNE/MCFARLANE AND MY WORD IS GOD. SILENCE, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!!

Elder returned to giggling on the floor like a school girl, bashing his head against the titanium wall and muttering something about, "Kill the LoR . . . yes . . . KILL the LoRRRRRRRR . . . "

Jam, leader of the League of Insulters, muttered, "I’m surrounded by idiots. You’re all stupid. My opinion is that which forms the very universe itself, and if you don’t agree with me, you’re foolish, a dork, a politically correct spineless coward, an idiot . . . blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah"

Byrne: I warned you, all of you; I desire silence. I’m fatigued, and I must rest before initating the next phase in my glorious takeover plan. ACBC, keep Elder and the LoI under control. If they disobey you, RETCON them.

Lobdell: My vindictive hatred towards good plots notwithstanding . . .

Kavanagh: Hey, I’ll do to them what I did to Iron Man.

Dezago: Hehehe. After I destroyed Spiderman, I’m about to destroy Batman. Doesn’t THAT sound fun, kiddies?

Byrne left the room, in order to personally inspect his captives.

The Dark Knight, shackled and physically broken though he was, spat at him.

Jarvis strangely summoned a small fraction of Jarvis-Cosmic . . . catching the egomaniacal and devilish Byrne off guard . . . and setting him ablaze.

spiffy just glared. Evily.

Alan Moore had used his phenominal talent to break free of the bonds, and rushed towards Byrne carrying an ebola bomb and something resembling a miniaturized hydrogen bomb.

Byrne wisely called upon his ret-con power to teleport.

Moore: THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME, YOU EGOMANIACAL, AMBI-SEXUAL, NECROPHILIC PRE-HISTORIC GOO!

AND I WILL BE WAITING, STANDING WITH TASERS AND THE DARK KNIGHT’S GOLF CLUB!

BE WARNED!

Alan Moore turned to the other captives.

Moore: What are you waiting for? Those bonds are made out of McFarlane plots. There’s no weaker substance on Earth.

The heroes broke free, The Dark Knight nearly fainted from the excruciating pain of having his bones snapped with unceasing combinations of Kavanagh, Lobdell, Dezago, McFarlane, and Byrne dialogue, plots, and concepts . . .

And then, the lights dimmed . . .

The rest of the League of Regulars were flung at their feet, badly wounded . . .

And Byrne cackled.

Byrne: Did you really think, that with all of my vast ret-con power, that I couldn’t forsee this?

Your final annihilation is upon you . . .

And Starseed arrived on the scene, taking stance next to Byrne …

She walked, timidly, down the darkened street.

She trusted the man who’d sent her on this errand with her life; even if she didn’t fully understand what was going on.

Dressed like an innocent prostitute, she entered the abode of her savior’s most hated enemy; and prepared to be possibly raped in the name of her mentor’s mission.

She’d long ago forgotten how to cry.

The LoR beat a hasty retreat from the ACBC, narrowly escaping via the combined powers of NTU’s teleportation rig and FFF’s shape-shifting prowess.

Unfortunately, the legendary Alan Moore, Jarvis, and the Dark Knight were considerably weakened by their excursions with Byrne’s ego, leaving the League with a substantial loss in their ranks.

Wishing to afford his comrades the respect they deserved, FFF

borrowed NTU’s stat files to do more research . . . and was horrified

by what he discovered.

Byrne had a reason to hate the LoR and all it stood for . . . and it derived from their founders, a group based on legendary teams such as the Avengers and the Justice League of America.

Shocked, Fin Fang Foom muttered, "Dear God; Byrne and Starseed are right. But, the others would never believe me . . ."

Her breath caught in her throat . . . she slowly sat down on the bed, surely knowing that the man was about to rape her.

She was only sixteen years old, the fear evident in her body language . . . and all the arrogant leader of the Parodyverse’s new political power wanted was an innocent body with which to rut in.

She was scared . . . but she knew that her mentor would save her.

Byrne’s skylight shattered . . . the power generator gave up its pitiful soul to a malignant soul bent on the destruction of everything Byrne stood for . . .

Weeping joyfully, she realized her salvation had come in the form of an enigmatic, misunderstood warrior . . . one whom she’d give her life for.

Fin Fang Foom stood before the LoR . . .

FFF: Where’s DK and Jarvis?

LoR: That’s not important. What did you want to tell us?

Fin Fang Foom removed a pistol from a holster hidden on his human form.

FFF: I want you to come with me, all of you . . . there’s no other way to do this. You won’t listen to me, otherwise . . .

They’d mocked him.

True, his ego caused many to doubt the veracity of his opinions . . . but he honestly tried to get along with them.

Kids in school were cruel . . . locking their chosen victims in emotional prisons, never realizing that they trapped themselves in prisons just as cruel.

Society did things like that to your mind.

They focused your emotions on money, on popularity, on physical attractiveness . . .

He never fit in.

He never was able to live a normal life.

He didn’t want to conquer the world; he wanted them to love him.

He figured that by ruling benevolently, they would; but in order to rule benevolently, he had to wrest political control of the Parodyverse.

John Byrne quietly swore, weeping himself to sleep as he recuperated from another unnecessary betrayal to treat others like he’d wanted to be treated for years . . . with kindness and respect.

Byrne: They’ll love me . . . I’ll solve everything for them, they won’t lack for anything . . .

PRESENT

Spitting teeth, Byrne realizes that his childhood dream was just that . . . an unrealistic fantasy.

Byrne: So . . . The Dark Knight has a love interest. How . . . fascinating . . . I’ll be able to strike at him even CLOSER . . . this time. They won’t love me, these subjects of mine . . . I can accept that. But by God as my witness, they WILL fear me.

The League of Regulars were grim faced. Nothing like this had ever happened in their history.

Fin Fang Foom had nearly betrayed them to John Byrne and the Anti-Comic-Book-Creators.

Discussions went for hours, and finally they decided it would be wisest to hear his story first.

FFF: I do have my reasons; but you won’t listen. You’re too blinded by your hatred for Byrne.

Lisa: Li’l dragon, you owe us an explanation.

Jarvis: Finny. Please. For the sake of our friendship.

Yo: I am being very unhappy now.

Jarvis: ….

Cheryl: FFF, please?

NTU: I can’t believe you did that, man. Why?

Marksman: Answers. Please.

FFF: Hear me out, then. I have my reasons, as I said; but I think you’ll agree with me.

The conversation that ensued is lost in the mists of time . . . but its effects are fairly well known. For on this date, the Parodyverse’s greatest champions surrendered to John Byrne.

The Dark Knight went on television, highlighting humanity’s greatest triumphs and tragedies. In a final heroic moment, he launched an all out assault on Byrne’s headquarters. In the ensuing explosion, he was assumed dead.

For, as it was written, the Parodyverse fell in one swift, brutal hour.

John Byrne gained his ultimate revenge.

And the world’s creativity slowly died . . .

John Byrne’s triumph was shattering.

The Parodyverse’s major newspapers were full of stunned headlines; the League of Regulars, this world’s greatest heroes, had surrendered to the might of the Anti Comic Book Creators, scourge of all creative ideas.

Even legendary villain, Baron Helmut Zemo had fallen to Byrne’s almighty wrath; at least apparently.

Even within the confining prison of Byrne’s stronghold, Zemo was hard at work. For who can TRULY conquer a Zemo?

Zemo: Guard, come here; I have need of your special talents in ridding this cell of this rat that terrifies me so.

Guard: YOU, the mighty ZEMO, scared of a RAT? This I’ve GOTTA see to

believe.

As soon as the guard opened the door, Zemo smashed the guard’s face into the wall.

Zemo: Let this be a lesson to you, curr; NEVER insult a Zemo.

Zemo gathered the rest of his troops in an incredibly short amount of time. He freed Pegasus, then sent her to free the others; while he awaited her arrival, he pondered what inspiring words he’d use to get them to follow his lead.

Jarvis ducked behind the smoldering carcass of Byrne’s henchman.

Jarvis: I don’t have TIME to worry about who gets killed; we’re in the middle of a war for OUR FREEDOM, and by God as my savior, BYRNE WILL NOT WIN!

Lisa: But, Jarvikins, I thought we agreed with Byrne’s ideas regarding an egalitarian society.

Jarvis: Less talk, more briefcase; we’re taking it to the Man, and the Man is BYRNE.

KRASH

The Dark Knight stood, battered, bleeding, and nearly unconscious.

DK: Zemo’s freeing his troops. I don’t believe that Byrne knows what’s happening, but we don’t have time to find out. Jarvis, get your people OUT of here; I’m going for Byrne.

Lisa: You can’t; you’re too hurt. You need my . . . special . . . care.

DK: No offense, but there are more important matters. Where’s Yo?

Timidly, the energy being appeared, confused and muttering to himself/herself/itself something about bunnies.

DK: Yo, you’re the only one who can free Cheryl and Visionary. Head to the lowest portion of this lair; and Jarvis, GET YOUR PEOPLE OUT OF HERE. We’re RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

The Knight disappeared, and a silence ensued.

After a matter of moments, Jarvis inspired his team.

Jarvis: Don’t worry, he’ll get out of this; he’s gotten out of worse problems than THIS, and survived. Let’s get out of here!

Meanwhile, the Shaper of Worlds watched the battle from afar. He, Donar, and spiffy were the only members of the LL that had escaped Byrne’s reign of terror.

SoW: The pathetic thing is that no one’s realized that our whole "surrender" was nothing but a setup. We WANTED Byrne to capture us; DK and NTU downloaded enough of his plans to give us enough information to thwart his nefarious ideals.

Donar: Aye, verily.

spiffy: Tee-hee; God-boy scored.

Zemo’s squad and the team of heroes led by Jarvis escaped Byrne’s lair.

NTU and Foom were the first to notice that DK hadn’t yet made it.

NTU: My God, he’s still in there!

Foom: He’ll . . . he’ll be ok. Remember, he’s the Parodyverse’s greatest fighter!

BRAK-AK-KOOM!

Byrne’s citadel exploded . . . and the League of Regulars were stunned, as they realized that their teammate had perished.

The last they’d seen of him, he’d obviously perished in that unexpected explosion. As for those vile beings who’d caused his death, they’d also perished in the explosion; the world would be rid of the ACBC forever.

So the Lair Legion gathered on a dismal afternoon, paying tribute to a fallen comrade; until that fallen comrade returned as a being of pure knowledge.

However, even in this state, he could not remain long. They’d wondered why he spent so much of his time reading everything .. . and anything.

He meant to hopefully find a cure for his condition. However, on the day of Thanksgiving, he disappeared . . . became a being of ethereal quality, perhaps never to be seen again, ever.

And the Lair Legion wondered if this time would be the last....

And where evil beings reside, the soul of John Byrne cackled in glee. He’d managed to gain revenge over them all, after all.....

The tale is finished?

Perhaps......

She walked out of the hospital, weeping, incoherent and amnesiac. Her mentor had died, so far as she knew; and her life wasn’t worth living.

Chrisie walked into the gothic evening with no plans for the future, not even of survival.

Meanwhile, the fetid, comatose body of John Byrne was being verbally assaulted by Jam, Leader of the League of Idiots.

Jam: I told you that idiotic idea would never wash, but, noooo, you’re the almighty John Byrne. I’m an out-of-shape ignoramus unpublished author, and I’m great at annoying people on message boards, but I still know more than you do.

McFarlane: Hey, leave da boss alone; he ain’t all dat bad.

The rest of the Anti Comic Book Creators simply looked at McFarlane with disgust (a common occurrence) and then, they motioned to Elder.

ACBC: KILL him.

Elder: I love you, you love me, I’m a babbling psychopath.....

And as for the Lair Legion, they were adjusting to Parodyverse life in their normal fashion................. Yo was handily beating the crap out of everyone in bowling, and Visionary was customarily finding something to complain about.

Viz: C’mon, Yo, cut me some slack; it’s awfully hard to beat a being of pure thought in ANY game, ya know.

Yo: I am not knowing. Yo-dette being is only able to discern the effects of Yo-dette being’s actions as it regards to Yo-dette being, no one else’s.

Jarvis: TRANSLATION?

Lisa: She/he/it said that you and I oughta get back together again, Jarvikins.

Jarvis vanished.

Cheryl: Subtle, Lisa; that went smoothly....

NTU and Tina joined the group.

NTU: Jarvis is still acting funky, eh?

Tina: You guys really oughta get back together... you make such a cute couple.

FWOOOSH.

The Chronicler of Stories and The Shaper Of Worlds appeared before the gathered Legion.

Shaper: I am fighting a one-armed man in my house. This man is my brother’s uncle’s nephew.

Chronicler: That troll who kicked me in the gonads; he must be punished, for he created a time paradox by kicking a being who has no physical body in the gonads.

Lisa: You two WILL not have access to caffeine anymore, is THAT UNDERSTOOD?

Yo: Chronicler-being is making no sense, as usual; Yo-dette being is confused, for anger brings sadness and strife.

Chronicler and Shaper: ....

Donar: Silence, fools, for the last son of Ass-gard is about to strike!

Lisa: Who? Who? Me?

Cheryl: Lisa, Jarvis may be around somewhere....

And at that moment, the Lair Legion realized something.

LL: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BEING STANDING NEXT TO SHAPER, AND WHY IS IT THAT YO KNOWS WHO HE/SHE/IT IS?

Chronicler: I am the former Dark Knight, ressurected through an ancient Buddhist meditation principle; and I’m formed from pure knowledge. Knowledge is a relative of thought, and therefore, Yo deduced my existence.

Lisa: "Erected." So, may I see some of your "principles?"

Chronicler: No physical body. Nice try.

Fing Fang Foom crashed through the ceiling, chased by the maniacally insane Grim Reaper.

Reaper: I did not have sexual relations with Nekra Lewinski!

Foom: Yeah, sure, whatever, that’s why I saw you "Nekra-ing" with her last night!

Shaper: "Nekra-ing?" Sounds like a "dance" move that Lisa’d do.

Chronicler: This, I have no need to know about. Come, Shaper, let us discuss other matters.

Reaper: Oh, no you don’t, you ethereal bastard; you don’t insult the Reaper and live! You go to Hell! You go to Hell and you Die!

Chronicler: Already have.

Reaper: Oh....

Starseed cleared his throat.

Starseed: So if Zemo’s married, Jarvis is missing, DK’s back as some being of pure knowledge, GR’s "Nekra-ing", Lisa’s in her mating season, Visionary is still inept....

Visionary: Hey!

Cheryl : *blushing* He’s not inept when it counts...

Starseed coughed again: I really needed to hear that. Anyway, Finny’s being insane again,

and Shaper appears to have disappeared, I’d say everything’s back to status-quo. Except, which spiffy had the fern? Post-Crisis or Pre-Zero Hour?

And, in the shadows, a malevolent being cackled.

His balding pate gave away his major physical distinction, and he’d just made the most significant political union of his life.

Zemo: Blofish, I think you’ll be very pleased you made this particular decision.

Above Zemo, and above the rest of the Parodyverse, the remnants of John Byrne regarded their actions.

JB: Hmm... they’re resourceful and dangerous. This may take further precautions next time. This Zemo is my kind of scum.