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A Day in the Life of Cheryl Monday, 06-Mar-2000 00:40:11
“A Day in the Life of Cheryl” Cheryl was freezing. Half-awake, she reached down towards the foot of the bed in search of the comforter, only to find it missing. Reluctantly, she opened her eyes to glare at her husband. Sure enough, Visionary slept soundly, rolled up in the majority of the covers like some gigantic breakfast burrito. Perhaps ‘pigs in a blanket’ was a better metaphor, she thought grumpily. She was always grumpy this early in the morning, and her trademark patience was stretched just a little bit thin. Sure enough, Visionary had opened the windows when he came to bed. He always liked to sleep in a cold room. Apparently, it never occurred to him that there was a reason the windows were always closed when she got to bed before him. Sighing, she rolled off of the mattress. Even though it was only early October, it was freezing in this part of the Parodyverse. While she was generally content living here (they had moved out here because of her job, so she didn’t like to complain) she had to admit she was growing to hate the cold mornings. It didn’t help that the entire east side of her home had been blown up while she was out in California for a business conference. Luckily, she had insisted on an insurance policy that covered damage by paradoxical catastrophe. (One could never be too careful living in the Parodyverse.) The frames around the reconstructed door and windows leaked like a sieve, though, making early mornings particularly painful. She rushed into the bathroom and started the shower, turning the temperature way up. As a wicked afterthought, she opened the bathroom door slightly. Of course, the bathroom would be colder when she got out of the shower, but there were other benefits. Sure enough, after about five minutes under the hot water, the steam escaping out the bathroom door set off the smoke detector in the hall. “Aaaaugh!” she heard her husband scream, followed by a loud thump. The poor thing always had trouble extricating himself from the cocoon in which he slept in his haste to shut off the alarm. (Not that she did this regularly, you understand. No, this kind of punishment was reserved for special occasions.) The vaulted ceilings in the hall made the alarm rather difficult to shut off, and she could hear Visionary jumping up and down as he frantically waved a pillow under the detector, trying desperately to quiet the device. A few weeks ago, she would have worried about waking the neighbors, but thanks to the Anti-Jarvis, that wasn’t much of a concern anymore. With a smug little smile, she turned off the water and, wrapping her towel around her, stepped from the shower. Visionary stood in the doorway. His eyes had that wild, empty look that she always found so cute. His hair, however, stood out in all directions, no doubt as a result of his habit of sleeping with his head wedged between pillows. He was huddled in his robe with both arms wrapped around himself, and was shivering noticeably. “The smoke detector went off!” he cried indignantly. “It did?” she replied with an absolutely straight face. “How peculiar. Is anything on fire?” “I doubt it.” he muttered darkly. “If there was, I’d think it would be a hell of a lot warmer in here.” If he suspected her of deliberately waking him up, he had apparently decided to keep it to himself. “Yes, dear” she said clinically, “I *had* noticed a slight chill in the air, and while I’m certainly no expert on thermodynamics, being a simple electrical engineer...” she flashed him an innocent smile, “If I *were* to hazard a guess as to the cause of said chill, I might have to conclude that it was a direct result of some unnamed person leaving the bedroom window open while the outside temperature fell into the mid forties. What would you say?” “Ummmm...” was about all he had to say in his defense. Cheryl smiled. Sure, it was unfair of her to talk circles around him when he was still not fully awake, but fairness really had nothing to do with it. This was marriage. “I’m so glad we agree.” she said, patting his cheek as she walked past him. Visionary, realizing he was at a distinct disadvantage, wisely retreated to the safety and the warmth of the shower. Cheryl chuckled. Lisa was always wondering how Cheryl managed to put up with him day after day. Sure, it was a trial sometimes, (that whole ‘Irregulars’ thing being a case in point) but Visionary was ultimately a loving husband, and on top of that, he presented almost unlimited entertainment possibilities. She pulled on her robe and wrapped her hair up into something that ultimately resembled a terry-cloth turban. The two of them had just celebrated their third anniversary, having met in college and married after graduation. She had those four years at the university to figure out how to manipulate the man, and that ultimately was the secret to their happy marriage. She knew his ‘quirks’ and, more importantly, how to turn them against him. Moving here, however, had sent his quirks into overdrive. The new friends he was making weren’t helping matters any, either. Since they had set up house in the Parodyverse, they had been exposed to all kinds of creatures, from giant dragons and brine shrimp (“Sea Monkeys”, she mentally corrected) to the well mannered Jarvis, the confusing Yo, and the friendly (perhaps TOO friendly) Lisa. Cheryl smiled. She supposed that somewhere else she might have been wary of letting her husband anywhere near someone like Lisa, but not here. After all, she thought, women were sorely under-represented in these parts, and they needed to stick together. Plus, with all the unattached guys to choose from, she knew Lisa could control herself. My god, though, that woman must spend a fortune on whipped cream! Visionary emerged from the shower in a much better mood. He cheerfully dressed and pulled on his university sweatshirt, a sure indication that he planned to plant himself on the sofa and watch college football all day. That’s what he thinks, she thought to herself. “What are you planning to do, today?” Cheryl asked innocently. “Big game today! We need this one to stay in the championship hunt!” he said cheerfully. “Ah” she said in her most off-handed manner. “Then perhaps we’d better go to the fabric store as soon as I get dressed.” Okay, it was a truly evil tactic, but it never failed. She could spend hours happily looking through a mobbed fabric store, constantly asking him for opinions. He, of course, loathed the entire experience, not having any opinions on which color would look best for drapes in the spare bedroom, or even if the spare bedroom needed any drapes at all. “The fabric store?” he asked in a tiny voice. “Really?” She seemed to consider it. “Well, I suppose I also wanted to clean the house this weekend.” she said tapping her finger to her lips. “I guess I could put off going to the store, if you’d be willing to do a few things around here instead. You know, pick up the living room, fold laundry, do a little vacuuming. That sort of thing.” He jumped at the bait. “Yeah, sure, always glad to help!” She could see him mentally trying to schedule his chores into the half-times of the day’s assorted games. He came over and planted a tender kiss on her forehead. “You’re the greatest” he said sweetly, “you know that?” “Yes dear” she replied with a hint of a smile. “I know.” Her first full appearance, from early October of '98 |
| A few reposts from Cheryl, courtesy of Visionary (n/t) (Unfortunately, many of her stories, including her series of 'coffee talks' with Lisa, seem to be gone) (06-Mar-2000 00:37:52) |
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