Jarvis staggered through the streets, the dim morning light stabbing into the very furthest reaches of his brain. He grabbed a passerby's arm. "Help me!" he pleaded, but his lips seemed to move well after his voice stopped.
"Aaaaaauuuhhhh! Get off me!" the man cried, horrified. "What the hell are you?!" The man ripped free of Jarvis's grip and fled. People turned and, seeing Jarvis for the first time, screamed in terror. Soon the city street was clear as the population fled in a panicked mob.
The stricken butler collapsed to the ground. "For the love of god" he moaned in someone else's voice, "what's happening to me?"
 

Zemo's control board was lighting up once again. Something was amiss in the Parodyverse. The Baron cursed and dropped his scissors. "Isn't that always the way?" he muttered. He looked longingly at the Bonsai tree he had been trimming to resemble a mushroom cloud; it only needed a few more clips. Sighing, he stalked from his worktable to the terminal. His Parodyverse must come first, he reminded himself.  His hobbies could wait.
"Yes, computer, what is it?" he snapped. He was always in a foul mood when his moments of Zen were disturbed.
"CNN is reporting heavy casualties in downtown Parodiopolis." the computer answered in a soothing woman's voice. The change in voice had been his computer repairman's idea. After the incident with Virtual Zemo, The Baron had needed something to curb his anger towards machines. The new voice sounded vaguely like a cross between Marilyn Monroe and Martha Stewart.
"On screen" Zemo commanded.
The computer screen flickered and brought up the live satellite feed.  The sounds of moans and sirens filled the room as televised images were reflected in the Baron's cold eyes. A reporter was trying to talk over the chaos in the background, without much success.  "...never seen such carnage... people dying... totally unprepared for this assault..." Then a shadow fell across the man. Looking up, he opened his mouth in a terrified scream...
Suddenly the feed was replaced by the words "Please stand by..." while a cheery elevator version of "I Love You Just the Way You Are" played in the background.
"Hmmmm" the Baron said. "Computer, prepare my helicopter." he ordered as he strode purposefully towards his hanger. "I shall have to take a personal hand in this..."
 

"Good morning, 151" Lisa said cheerfully as she entered her office.  The headless body that served as her secretary (among other things) was going through the morning's mail when she arrived. NTU-150, as the final service for his unpaid legal fees, had wired a camcorder to his alternate's headless neck. Now the cyborg could see adequately, which greatly expanded its uses. It looked up at its mistress.
"Good morning ma'am." it said politely in a voice originating from somewhere in its chest. "You have an appointment with Judge Lombardi at 10, and the Baldwin slashing trial is scheduled for 11:30." 151 checked its ledger. "Oh, and the Flaherty execution is tonight at midnight, of course."
"Oh well..." Lisa said off-handedly. "You can't win them all." She took off her coat and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Bring the Baldwin files into my office, and find out what kind of crullers Judge Lombardi likes best." She shrugged. "Every little bit helps, after all, and I hate working these midnight appointments into my schedule."
151 just looked at her.
"What, did you drain your power cells again?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought we just replaced them after yesterday's 'conference' on my desk." She sighed. 'Keeps going and going' my ass, she thought to herself.
"Uhhh, what? Oh, no ma'am, it's not that..." 151 looked as uncomfortable as a man with a camera for a head possibly could. "It's just, well, I know you've been watching a lot of 'Ally McBeal' and all..."
"Yes?" Lisa asked.
"Well, its just, that outfit..." the cyborg hesitated. "Are you sure it's appropriate? I mean, the skirt *is* a bit short, and the rest doesn't exactly command all that much respect..."
"What do you mean?" Lisa looked at herself. She was wearing a blue, pleated micro mini skirt, a white blouse with blue trim, red knee-high boots and a big red bow around her neck. The whole outfit was topped off with her hair, which she had somehow coerced into a pair of extra long pony-tails, one on each side of her head. This stunning ensemble had come to her in a flash of inspiration that morning. "What's wrong with it?" she said indignantly. "And since when does a machine wearing only bikini briefs have the right to critique anyone else's fashion sense?"
151 knew better than to argue with her, although it had learned that lesson the hard way. (Lisa kept all manner of 'toys' in her desk.) "Forget I mentioned it" it said quickly.
 

NTU-150 loved the hardware store. Ever since Radio Shack got that restraining order against him, Sniederson's Hardware had become his second home. It was for the best, he thought. Radio Shack was convenient, true, but they had decidedly shoddy merchandise. He was pretty sure his recent rash of failed inventions could be attributed directly to them. Now he got his electronic components by mail-order.  Still, like all inventors, he had the need to be around fellow builders, the need to brag about how much he could accomplish if stranded on a desert island with nothing but duct tape. The regulars at Sniederson's Hardware were his kind of people. Since none of them had ever built battle armor, or even the world's longest bus, he was looked upon as a kind of King here. Plus, when no one was around, he could savor the simple joy of burying his arms up to his elbows in a bushel basket full of lug nuts. You can't find that kind of fulfillment at the mall.
He was coming down the plumbing isle when he heard Ol' Zeke and Joe the contractor having another argument. They were standing near the front window of the store, and Zeke was pointing at something up in the sky.
"I'm telling ya'" the old man was saying, "you can't get that kind of torque with steel. They got to be using some of those new-fangled carbon-fiber rods!"
"Get real!" Joe scoffed. "It's all in the design. My cousin's an architect, see, and he says..." he saw NTU and waved him on over.  "Hey, here comes NTU, he can settle this."
NTU-150 joined the two men by the window. "Alright, guys, what is it this...time?" He looked up and all power of speech left him. Standing with its left foot on Main street and its right foot somewhere in the vicinity of East 52nd was the most colossal robot NTU had ever seen.  The thing easily towered over 1600 feet high. It was dressed in some kind of neo-Samurai armor and carried a huge sword, nearly 1000 feet in length. It was currently in the process of chopping the First National Bank of Parodiopolis in half.
NTU became light-headed, not so much due to the carnage before him, but rather due to the fact that someone had thought of building a Giant Samurai Robot before he did. "Urk...!" he said before fainting dead away.
"What did he say?" asked Ol' Zeke.
Joe turned back to the window. "He said it was steel, stupid."
 

Starseed had been in line for nearly an hour, and there were still five people in front of him waiting to see a teller. This, Starseed thought, is why God invented ATMs. Unfortunately, the machine outside was 'out of service'. So instead of getting money quickly, from a hassle free computer, he had to wade through his fellow humanity to pick up his own cash. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally reached the teller.
"I need $200" he said with relief, pushing his bank card under the bullet-proof glass.
"What is this?" the teller asked in a nasally voice.
"My ATM card." Starseed said.
"Sir, do I look like an ATM to you?" the teller said in a condescending tone.
Upon looking carefully at her, Starseed had to admit that she did not. She was easily 350 pounds, was sweating heavily, and was wearing a pink jacket with a pin reading "ask us about our low interest mortgages".
"Well, no." He conceded. "The ATM is actually much more streamlined.  You look more like a cement mixer. A pink one, actually" he added helpfully. "Can I have my money now?"
She looked at him as one might look at something the cat hocked up.  "Fill this out" she said bitterly, thrusting a withdrawal slip towards him. "If you do it right, *then* you'll get your money," she gave him an evil smile. "Of course, you'll have to get back in line." She turned away from him. "Next!" she bellowed.
Starseed was just about to tell her where she could deposit the withdrawal slip when the entire building suddenly lurched. An immense metallic object cleaved the room in half, top to bottom. The crack it left in the floor behind Starseed slowly began to widen until the entire east side of the building finally just fell away, carrying with it the screaming bank patrons who had been, moments ago, patiently waiting their turn.
"Huh, what do you know? Well, it looks like I'm next" Starseed said cheerfully, sliding the completed withdrawal slip back under the window. "I'd like that in two fives, five tens and seven twenties." he said patiently to the shocked teller, who was starring in wide-eyed disbelief at the open air where the rest of the bank once stood. "And could you hurry, please?" he added pleasantly, "I'm in a bit of a rush."
 

Visionary was loaded down with packages. "You know, you could have just married a mule." he muttered to his wife, "you'd have gotten just about the same use out of it with a whole lot less resentment."
"Yes dear" Cheryl said as she checked her shopping list. "But then where would I have gotten such sparkling conversation?" She looked up. "I think we can head downtown to get the rest of the things on my list." Visionary moaned, buckling under the weight of his burden.  "Try not to slouch, dear" Cheryl said sweetly, "It's bad for your back."
Suddenly, a mob of screaming humanity rushed down the street.  Visionary was knocked to the ground, and only the pile of merchandise that he was buried under saved him from being trampled. Cheryl quietly assessed the situation, then calmly extended her leg, tripping one of the stampeding people. The man smacked face first into the pavement.
"You poor thing" Cheryl said to the dazed man. "Here let me help you up." She reached down and grabbed hold of the man's arm, pulling him to his feet as the panicked crowd disappeared down the street. "You really should watch where you're going, you know. You could have hurt yourself. Now..." she said in a business-like tone, "what's this all about?"
"Back there!" the man cried, pointing down the street. "Some hideous monster!"
"Ah" she said. "Thank you for the information. You may run along now." she dismissed him, and the man staggered off after the others, still woozy from bouncing his head off the sidewalk.
Visionary had just managed to extricate himself from the mound of packages, and was swearing viciously. "This is the Parodyverse, for god's sake!" he spat, "and these rubes haven't seen a monster before?" He began to gather the shopping bags. "Frickin' tourists!"
"There must be something different about this one." Cheryl said thoughtfully. "I think we should forget about shopping and investigate."
Visionary weighed his options. Spending the day going from store to store, or facing a monster scary enough to send a mob of people screaming in terror. "Works for me." he said happily. "Let's go get us a monster!" Besides, he thought, they had just gotten a new gas grill, and monster steaks could be mighty tasty.
So it was with some disappointment that he discovered the monster to be a pathetic human kneeling in the street, starring into a puddle.  Upon closer inspection, however, his disappointment turned into shock. "Jarvis?" he asked in a sick voice, "It that you?"
Jarvis looked up and started to say something. His lips moved a long time, but all that eventually came out was "yes" and it didn't even sound like his voice.
"Oh, you poor dear!" Cheryl said with genuine concern. "What happened to you?"
Jarvis just starred back with eyes as large as baseballs. His nose had all but disappeared, leaving only a simplified bump in the middle of his face. Once again his lips moved before he began to speak and the strange voice said "I know not what happens here! It surely be the work of the devil's armpit!"
"Poorly dubbed, and with a garbled translation to boot!" she said sympathetically. "This is serious." She looked at her husband. "You'd better call this in..."
 

"Incoming call" the helicopter computer said in a soothing voice.
"Caller designation: Visionary, Urgency Designation: Alpha-1."
Zemo pressed the speaker button irritably. "What is it, Visionary, I'm rather busy." He brought the Zemocopter into a hard climb, as the Giant Samurai Robot's sword whistled under its tail. Targeting the Robot's left eye, he fired a volley of missiles. "I already know about the Giant Robot terrorizing downtown."
"Uh, okay, good..." Visionary answered, obviously clueless. "I'm actually calling about a different matter. Jarvis seems to have been infected, or maybe poisoned."
"Well, that is good news!" Zemo said cheerfully. "Let me know when he dies!"
"Ummm, okay..." Visionary answered. "The thing is, though, that he's been infected with some form of Manga or Anime toxin. I mean, the man's eyes are bigger than Pamela Anderson's brea..."
"WHAT?!" The Baron yelled as the pieces fell into place. Of course!  It was so obvious now. They had been trampling the nations of the Parodyverse into the ground, and it was only a matter of time before there were repercussions! France, of course, was never a danger. They surrendered to any dictator that just happened to be passing through.  Germany was too busy with Oktoberfest to cause any trouble until at least November. But Japan...
"Sound a general alert to all the denizens of the Parodyverse!" he said to the computer. "If the Japanese think they can execute a hostile take-over of Baron Zemo's Lair, let them try! We shall line the streets with their crushed skulls! The cities will run red with the blood of these invaders, and their widows will shudder at their fates! World War II will resemble a lover's spat compared to the vengeance I shall wreak! Prepare, world, for Zemo lies ready for glorious combat!!!"
"Uhhmm..." Visionary answered mildly through the still-open comm-line. "...okay."
 

Visionary sat on the Baron's front porch, looking towards the Parodiopolis skyline. He, Starseed, Cheryl, Jarvis and Zemo had fallen back to Zemo's lair to plan their defense of the Parodyverse.  Many of the well known denizens of this world were as yet unaccounted for, but Visionary wasn't very worried. Admittedly, this was all rather extreme, but one could quickly become desensitised living here.
Starseed came out to join him. "They say on the news that MechaGodzilla has been sighted down by the wharves." he said casually, taking a swig of bottled beer. "I wonder how they missed him up until now."
"Which one is he again?" Visionary asked absently, watching the East Tower of the Remington Financial Building slowly topple over.
"Hmmm?" Starseed replied. "Oh, he's the huge robotic lizard. You know, Godzilla ripped off his head and there was a giant light bulb underneath it..."
"Ah, that's right." Vizh watched as the night sky was lit up by a volley of surface to air missles. "Where do you suppose you get a light bulb that big anyway?"
Starseed shrugged. "Probably a special order."
They lapsed back into silence. Somewhere an air raid siren was blaring. The night sky continued to flash as explosions thudded in the distance.
"Is that thunder, or just the annihilation of the lower east side?"
Starseed asked curiously.
Visionary looked worried. "Just to be safe, maybe we ought to head inside." he said. "Why get rained on if you don't have too?"
 

"Computer!" Zemo called. "Have you finished cataloging the various Japanese attacks?" The Baron was in his element. A foe worthy of his attention had reared its head, and now he could concentrate on chopping it off.
"New reports continue to come in..." the computer answered, "However, enough data has been gathered to estimate a point of origin." The computer brought up a map of Parodiopolis and highlighted an area deep within the city. "There is a 97.95% probability that the hostile invaders spread out from the area of Parodiopolis know as 'Mangatown'."
"Oooooh, going out on a limb there, aren't you, Baron?" Lisa said from the doorway. She was dressed in a ludicrous ruffled blue mini-skirt, knee-high red boots, and she had her hair up in two rediculously long pigtails (obviously extensions). What was more noticable, however, was that her eyes were as large as tangereens.  She was flanked on either side by Visionary and Starseed.
"She just showed up." Visionary supplied helpfully.
"Cheerleader tryouts are down at the high school." Zemo said scathingly. "However, if you wish to help, go tend to that doe-eyed Bulter paramor of yours..."
"I will do more than that!" she said dramatically, "For I am Sailor Lisa, enemy of evil!"
"Uh-huh." said Zemo. "He's down the hall to your left."
"No, really!" she said. "I've been made a Sailor Scout to help protect the Parodyverse!"
"First door past the bathroom." Zemo said, turning back to his computer. "You can't miss it."
Lisa was getting angry. "Look, my cat, Mrs. Muffins can explain the whole thing!" she cried indignantly, pulling a wet alley cat out of a sack that she had brought with her. Holding the animal by the scruff of the neck, she thrust it out for all to see.
"Meow" Mrs. Muffins said plantively.
 

NTU-150 stumbled into the street, his mind reeling. Mentally, he had already finished half the blue-prints for *his* gigantic battle machine. As soon as he got back to his lab he could begin construction. Then he could face this menace as God intended: Giant Samurai Robot to Giant Samurai Robot.
His thoughts were interrupted by a cuddly little cat-like creature that was standing in the middle of the street making cooing noises at him. He turned and looked at Ol' Zeke.
"What the hell is that?" he asked, pointing to the fuzzy critter.
Zeke squinted. "That? Oh! That looks like one of them there Pokemon critters that my granddaughter wants for Christmas..." He scratched his scraggly beard. "Some kind of 'Virtual Pet' thing-a-ma-gig."
NTU took aim with his repulsors. "More like 'Virtual Road-kill'" he said smugly as he fired. The creature said something that sounded like 'Blurg' as the back end of its skull exploded outward. NTU grinned underneath his faceplate and was about to head for home when he noticed more cute critters of all shapes and sizes emerging from the doorways and alleys that surrounded him.
"As I recall..." Ol' Zeke was still rambling on, "What you do is, ya raise the little critters, then you teach them to fight, and then they have vicious fights to the death. I never did understand why them Japanese made them so cute, though. Must be a cultural thing..."
"Oh, crap." NTU said.
 

"Okay, I think I've managed to track down what she's talking about..." Visionary said happily as Starseed and Zemo joined him for a briefing.
"And here I thought you were just watching the Cartoon Network."
Starseed said dryly.
"Hey, you do research your way, I'll do research my way." Visionary consulted his notepad. "She seems to be under the impression that she's a character called 'Sailor Moon'. I didn't really get all the nuances of the show, but it seems to be about some kind of super heroine with a talking cat, and a guy in a tuxedo with glasses like Elton John."
"Why is she called *Sailor* Moon?" Starseed asked curiously. "Does she have a boat?"
"Not that I saw." Visionary replied. "I think it's just because she wears a sailor outfit."
"What kind of scary-ass Navy have you been serving in?" Starseed said, thinking of the pleated skirt and shiney red boots.
"Well, Donald Duck wears basically the same shirt." Visionary said defensively. "He's a sailor."
"You think Lisa, in any way, resembles Donald Duck?"
"Hey, slap a skirt, boots and a pair of hooters on the duck, and, yeah, I see a resemblance!"
"Gentlemen..." Zemo said wearily, massaging his temples, "Shut the hell up." He got up and started pacing. "Here's what we know: The Parodyverse has been infected with some kind of Anime virus, Japanese pop culture is wreaking havok in Parodiopolis, and the source of all this would seem to be the Mangatown district on the upper west side." He turned back towards them. "What do we do about it?"
"Our first priority has got to be finding a cure for this virus." Cheryl stated as she entered the room. "Jarvis is asleep, and I finally managed to sedate Lisa, although it took awhile. She kept swinging this stick in a circle and crying 'Lisa Healing Activation!!!'. She seemed quite confused by the fact that nothing happened." She shrugged. "In any event, they're both getting quite delusional. It seems that their brains are being squeezed as their eyeballs continue to expand. I'm afraid that if they are not cured soon, their heads may pop."
"So? What's your point, woman?" Zemo said coldly.
Cheryl decided to change tactics. "We know that this attack is probably a response to Jarvis's ill-advised take over of Japan a while back. As such, perhaps we could ransom Javis to the Japanese as a peace offering..."
"Peace?! Never! I'll wipe them from the earth before there's peace between us!" Zemo snarled defiantly.
"Of course, dear," Cheryl changed tactics again. "its absolutely brilliant of you to consider using the negotiations to buy us time to mount a counter-attack, as well as the opportunity to size-up their leaders and identify any weak points in their defenses." She paused and calmly took a sip of her tea. "Then you lead a stunning assualt and grind your enemies under your heal. Truly, we are blessed to have a leader so far-sighted as you are." She frowned as if something just occured to her. "Of course, I'm no expert, but if his head explodes into jelly, well, then they may not want him anymore."
Zemo sighed and threw up his arms in defeat. "Very well" he snarled.  "My lair's computer systems and labs are at your disposal. Keep the butler alive long enough to pass him on to the Japanese. If it looks like he might burst, put him in the bathtub." He leveled a finger at her. "You are responsible for cleaning his brains off the wall!"
"I'd be delighted to." she answered with a mild smile.
"As for the two of you, gentlemen..." Zemo said, turning back to Starseed and Visionary, "you are going to have to infiltrate our enemy's base of operations. I want to know who is leading this invasion, and how they managed to saturate the Parodyverse so quickly." He leaned across the table. "You're going undercover, to the heart of Mangatown itself."
 

Mangatown was hopping. Video screens were everywhere, reflecting off the wet pavement. Blimps floated overhead, with Japanese commercials playing constantly on their sides. All manner of flying vehicles filled the sky, some shaped like cars, some like robots, some like planes, all covered in lights. Street vendors hawked an incredible variety of merchandise from traditional Japanese foods to live monkeys. The buildings towered above, disappearing into the night sky and the continuous rain. Paper lanterns hung from wires across the narrow streets, which were filled with all manner of creatures and people. A techno beat played somewhere in the background, accompanied by a high pitched female singer.
"Hey, this isn't so bad." Starseed observed.
"It does seem kinda familiar." Visionary agreed, shifting his massive shoulder pads. He was decked out in a suit of elaborate armor, which looked quite formidable. His entire chest was covered in an immense breastplate, and he measured at least three feet wide at the shoulders. His shins and forearms were encased in huge metallic boots and gauntlets, and he wore a helmet complete with multiple antennas sticking out the back. It all looked very impressive indeed.  Unfortunately, it was taking most of his concentration just to stand up in it all.
Starseed had gotten off easy. He wore a streamlined costume with a feathered cape that acted as wings. Covering his non-manga features was a helmet with a visor shaped like an eagle's beak. "So" he said looking around. "Now what? I mean, look at this place.... It's not as if we can just ask if anyone's seen anything out of the ordinary."
Visionary stepped aside to let a woman with cat ears and a tail pass by. Somewhere down the street there was a large explosion, and the sound of shattered glass. An old man in a wide conical hat went floating by in a lotus position, and some creepy ten year old was standing in a nearby doorway, starring at Visionary. "I see your point." he conceded. "I suppose we should find the local police.  They'd certainly know more than we do."
"What if the Mangatown police are in on all this?"
Visionary shrugged. "Then we'll probably get our asses kicked."
 

Pokemon entrails were spread liberally around the street outside of Sniederman's Hardware store. The cute little critters had put up a surprisingly good fight, but were ultimately out-gunned. In the process of butchering the hot collectibles, however, NTU-150 had expended a great deal of his energy reserves, and had wasted valuable time. Giant Samurai Robots didn't build themselves, and he had a lot of work to do.
Luckily, the Radio Shack on the next block had been abandoned in the chaos. He wasn't thrilled about using inferior components, but he didn't have much choice. By his calculations, the Giant Samurai Robot would finish trashing all of Parodiopolis with twenty hours, and without anything else to destroy, it would probably leave. Then NTU would miss his one chance at a Giant Samurai Robot showdown. He couldn't let that happen.
"Okay" NTU said. "What do we have to work with?"
Ol' Zeke scratched his head. "Well, we have a bunch of transistors
from Radio Shack, as well a 12,000 feet of speaker wire, plus five
Tandy computers and an IBM Aptiva. Most of the plumbing department of Sniederman's is still standing, and we got my Yugo and Joe's Chevy.  Plus, down the street there's an abandoned back hoe."
"That's it?" NTU asked, somewhat crestfallen.
"Everything else was looted or else stepped on by that big guy." Zeke said, jerking his thumb at the still rampaging GSR, which was busy chopping into the Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital with its humongous sword.
"Impossible." Joe spat, shaking his head. "No way we can build something to take on that monster with what we got. MacGuyver his very own self couldn't do it." He crossed his arms.
NTU set his jaw beneath his mask. "MacGuyver" he said, firing up his acetylene torch, "was a wuss."
 

The Baron brought the Zemocopter sweeping over the ruins of Parodiopolis. He had dropped off Starseed and Visionary in the heart of Mangatown to infiltrate the enemy. Zemo had decided on a more direct course of action for himself, however. He pulled up to clear a smoking office building and his target came into view. The Giant Samurai Robot was striding through the east river towards the Englehart bridge.
"Computer, open communication lines, all frequencies." he commanded.
"Lines open." the computer answered in its sensuous voice.
"Attention, I Zemo, bring an offer to those attacking the Parodyverse." he said into the radio. "Your attempts to destroy the Butler Jarvis with an Anime Virus have failed. He is currently under *my* protection. Should you wish to acquire him so that you may do a more thorough job of executing his agonizingly slow and painful death, you will now have to deal exclusively with me." Zemo said smugly. He turned off the radio.
"Now, we shall wait for them to come to us. We shall see who is master of the Parodyverse!" He grinned beneath his mask. "When they stand exposed to me I shall set my plans in motion. Their technology... their armies... finally their very lives will be mine for the taking! So swears Zemo!!!"
"I love it when you talk like that..." the computer said sweetly.
 

"You know how hard it is to find a donut around here?" Sergeant Tony asked them as they sat down on the other side of his desk.
"Uhmm, no." Visionary said, barely catching himself before he toppled out of his chair.
"Nah, I suppose you wouldn't, not being from here and all..." he said, eyeing them up and down.
"How can you tell?" Starseed asked curiously.
Sgt. Tony shrugged. "Your disguises would probably work on the locals, but I've been transferred through so many precincts that I've learned to recognize the little differences. Your mouths, for one.  Your whole faces move when you open 'em. The Anime types you're impersonating usually just let their mouths flash open and closed." He looked at Visionary. "Of course, the replicant there had me fooled at first."
"The what?" Visionary asked.
"Hey, look, I know some people ain't all that keen on A.I's. Me, personally, I say there's enough room for both real and artificial people in the world..."
      "I'm not artificial!" Visionary declared indignantly. "I'm human!"
"Sure buddy. Look, lots of my fellow officers on this beat are plastic. Not that there's anything wrong with that..."
"I was born in Wisconsin! My parents live in Michigan! I'm allergic to crab puffs!"
"Hey, you want to stay in the closet, no skin off my nose, y'know?"
He leaned back in his chair. "So, what is it you two wanted, anyway?  All hell's breaking loose 'round here, and I got a lot of paperwork to fill out."
"That's what we wanted to talk to you about." Starseed said, cutting off the stammering Visionary. "We have reason to believe that this whole mess is premeditated retribution for a little international incident that happened a while back, but we need confirmation."
Tony considered it. "I think I can point you in the right direction." he said, turning in his chair. "Hey, Kusanagi, come 'ere a minute." He bellowed.
"You got those files on the Akira Project, yet Tony?" a svelte woman with blue hair asked, coming over to the Sergeant's desk.
"I'll get 'em to you tomorrow." Tony said quickly. "Look, Mokoto, what's the name of that sushi place on 57th? The one where we got that tip on the Tamagotchi smuggling ring?"
"Masamune's" she said. "They got wasabe that'll curl your nostril hairs." She looked at Visionary. "You'd better want something more valuable than cucumber rolls if you're going there, though... That crowd doesn't care too much for replicants."
"Let it go." Starseed told Visionary, who was getting riled up again.
"One other thing..." Kusanagi said. "Masamune's is a Karioke bar.  Nobody gets anything out of that crowd without exercising their pipes, first."
"Singing?" Starseed asked crestfallen.
"Tell me..." Tony said with a large grin, "do ya' know all the words to 'You Light Up My Life'?"
 

"The nerve!" Visionary sputtered. "The unmitigated gall!"
"I can kind of see it..." Starseed said offhandedly, as they walked down the bustling Mangatown street.
"What?! I'm human, dammit!"

"Oh, I know..." Starseed explained. "It's just, I can see why someone might be mistaken. I mean, you *are* kind of stiff. Not to mention that you use phrases like 'unmitigated gall'."
"I am not stiff!" Visionary declared indignantly.
"Oh, please. You walk like you just had an unpleasant visit to the proctologist."
"It's all this @#%&*@! armor." he answered, shifting his Manga costume. "I don't know how NTU deals with this every day."
"Whatever." Starseed said, letting the matter drop. They came to a stop outside of a corner bar. Neon signs filled the windows, but, unfortunately, they were all in Japanese. The location matched the description that they had been given at the police station, though.  This should be Masamune's Karaoke Sushi Bar. "This looks like the place." He looked at Visionary. "You ready?"
"Which one of us is gonna sing?" Visionary asked, looking at the building with dread.
"Odds or Evens?" Starseed asked, holding out his fist.
"Odds... No, wait! Evens!"
"Whatever." Starseed answered. "Ready? 1... 2... 3..."
 

Cheryl was worried. Mrs. Muffins, however, seemed quite at ease. So much so that she was in the process of licking herself. Baron Zemo, fresh from delivering his ultimatum to the Japanese, was simply impatient. Upon returning to his lair, he had gone directly to the infirmary where Cheryl had been left to deal with the Anime infected Jarvis and Lisa.
"Why don't we just pull out their eyes?" He said irritably. "I have an ice cream scoop in the kitchen..."
Cheryl stifled a gag. "I'd prefer something a little less drastic, dear Baron." They still had to find a way to relieve the pressure building up inside Jarvis's and Lisa's heads. "As medieval as it sounds, however, we may have to resort to bloodletting."
"Leaches then." Zemo said with satisfaction. "Or maybe a Lamprey.  It's good that I keep my aquarium well stocked." With that he turned and strode purposefully from the room.
Cheryl sighed and shook her head. That man desperately needed a wife to keep an eye on him. Thankfully, she wasn't available for the job.  She turned back to the copy of Scott McCloud's "Understanding Manga" that she was studying. She was deep into the chapter on Anime, but had yet to find something useful. She continued to read to herself:
"In Anime, as in American animation, a form of 'visual shorthand' is used to express emotions and other intangible actions. Where an American cartoon might feature a light bulb over a character's head to signify an idea, a Japanese cartoon might use a nosebleed to signify that a character is having lustful thoughts..."
Cheryl reread the passage and then smiled to herself. "You can hold off on those leaches, Baron." she called out. "They won't be necessary." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "However, you may want to bring a bucket. This could get rather messy." She went to where 'Sailor Lisa' was sleeping.
"What we definitely need, though..." she said clinically, smoothing back Lisa's hair, "is cool whip."
 

NTU had been working non-stop. However, after six hours, they still only had one four-hundred foot arm built. He looked up from the plate that he was welding and sighed. There was just so far that he could push their limited resources. He looked longingly at the Giant Samurai Robot, who was now on the opposite side of the river. He realized that he would have to face facts. Building a 1600 foot Samurai Robot out of scrap iron, a Yugo, a Chevy, and a Back-hoe would most likely take the better part of a week. They simply didn't have that kind of time.
He sat down and thought about it. Perhaps, if properly guided, the arm would be enough. He slid down the Giant Robot Arm's pinky finger and headed for the Tandy computer terminal in the palm. After altering the arm's programming, he turned to Joe.
"Fire her up!" he yelled. Joe popped the clutch and started the diesel engine that they had removed from the Back-hoe. A great belch of black exhaust shot out of the wrist joint as the Giant Robot Arm sprung to life. Slowly the arm rose to hover 5 feet off the ground.
"Anti-gravity?" Zeke asked, impressed.
"Child's play." NTU shrugged. "I could make a decent Anti-Gravity generator with some copper wire and two coconuts. If I were on that island, Ginger, Mary Ann and I would have left for Honolulu inside of a week."
"The index finger is jammed." Ol' Zeke pointed out. NTU turned to look. Sure enough, it was wedged under the thumb. "I'll go fix that..." Zeke said confidently as he strode off towards the hand.
Zeke took a crow-bar and shoved it in-between the two massive digits.  He then hung his scrawny frame from the bar and swung back and forth.

"I gotta pull my weight around here, y'know..."

"No! Wait!" NTU screamed as he realized what was about to happen. He was, unfortunately, too late. The index finger released, and flicked forward at a tremendous speed. The fingernail caught Zeke square in the chest, and he was heaved skyward at an incredible velocity. He rose until his body was a tiny speck in the sky, and then, finally disappeared altogether.
Joe shut down the engine and came over to stand next to NTU. "You know..." he said thoughtfully, his hat in his hand, "I don't think he's coming back."
 

Visionary stood unhappily before the microphone. Starseed had tried to console him on the benefits of Visionary losing the 'odds/evens' bet. This way, Starseed could maintain the respect needed to get the information they wanted from the bar's patrons. Since Visionary never got respect from anyone anyway, Starseed explained, things had worked out for the best.
Visionary, however, was quite sure that the whole situation sucked.  Not only did he have to sing in front of a crowd of people, he couldn't even choose the song. That was due to the fact that the play list was written entirely in Japanese. He closed his eye and pressed buttons randomly on the Karaoke machine, all the while praying for some early Billy Joel. Anybody could sing early Billy Joel.
As the music started, his heart sank. At least, he said to himself, the words to this aren't too hard. He took a deep breath and started singing.
      "I'm Henry the eighth, I am, Henry the eighth I am, I am..."
 

Starseed looked around the Sushi Bar. They hadn't even been able to get into the door until they signed Visionary up for a set on-stage.  Now that he was singing, Starseed was free to take in the ambiance.
Most every surface was either blue or black, and all were shiny.  There were multiple tables around the stage, and some curtain-shrouded booths along the back wall. The clientele was almost exclusively Manga or Anime types, but, much to his surprise, Starseed spotted a fellow Regular off to the left of the stage.
"Yo?" he said. "Is that you? What are you doing here?"

Yo didn't recognize him at first, but then a smile spread across his face. He turned to look at the stage, then nearly fell over laughing as he realized who it was. "Starseed? Why have you dressed yourself so?" he asked, pulling out a chair for his disguised compatriot.
"Don't you know?" Starseed said, somewhat surprised. "Japan and the Parodyverse are at war."
"Really?" Yo asked. "I wonder why..."
"Well, Jarvis did take over their country"

"True" Yo conceded. "But that was all in good fun." He offered Starseed a cucumber roll. "So, why are you here, my friend? If there is a war, then would it not be better to sing another time?"
Starseed needed a minute to answer, as the wasabe from the cucumber role was clearing his sinuses. After downing half of Yo's water, he finally could speak. "Zemo sent us here to find out who's behind all this." he gasped. "Why are you here?"
"Thursday is ladies night." Yo answered.
Starseed pondered that, then decided to let it go. "Look, if you're here often, perhaps you could help." He said. "Who might know the most about these invaders?"
Yo pointed to the last booth on the right. The curtain was drawn across its entrance, and two large men with slicked-back hair and sunglasses stood guard outside it. "The one in there is who you want." Yo said cheerfully. "It is said that he knows everything that happens in Mangatown."
"Thanks" Starseed said, rising.
"Do you not want to see more of Visionary's performance?" Yo asked, nodding towards the stage. Starseed looked. Visionary had apparently selected more than one song, as he was currently stumbling his way through "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman". He was, Starseed noted, well off key.
"As entertaining as this is, I'd better do what we came to do."
Yo smiled. "Okay. I always video tape the performances anyway. I will show it at the next Regulars meeting."
Starseed chuckled. "I'm sure Vizh will be eternally grateful."
 

Visionary was in the process of wiping raw fish off of his armor.
"Okay, so maybe I wasn't the best..." he muttered darkly, "but was I really so bad that they felt the need to pelt me with sushi?"
"Maybe they meant it well. Like throwing roses." Yo supplied helpfully.
"Is that why you joined them?" Visionary demanded.
"No." Yo answered, smiling. "But, come and sit, you may order something with which to throw at the next singer. It is quite fun." The singer on stage was doing his best lounge act, and the patrons of Masamune's were beginning to take aim again.
"Uh, maybe we should get a table a little less 'stage-adjacent'." Visionary suggested warily. They took a table near the back of the room. Starseed was in one of the covered booths lining the back wall of Masamune's, conversing with an informant. Hopefully, he could get the name of the villain behind this invasion. Visionary hated to think that his singing might have all been for nothing.
Yo pointed to his head. "You seem to have a testicle on your face."
"A what?!" Visionary said, hastily ripping off his helmet.
"From a squid." Yo answered helpfully. "A tentacle"
"Ah" Visionary said with some relief, plucking the squid arm off the top of his visor. "That's not what you said the first time." Suddenly he was aware that his non-manga face was exposed, and that three men in a corner table were staring at him. He quickly thrust his helmet back over his face and tried to look inconspicuous. Unfortunately, after conferring, the men rose and approached the table where Yo and Visionary were sitting.
Visionary groaned inwardly. "What else could go wrong?" he moaned beneath his breath. He wished Starseed would show up so they could leave this place.
The men came over to surround Visionary's chair. They were rather large, and smelled like they had been drinking for quite a while.  "Excuse me, we don't mean to interrupt" the man to his left said, "But we could help but notice, what with your helmet off..."
Visionary braced himself for the fight that was about to erupt.
"...your eyes look real nice. Perhaps we could buy you a drink?"
 

Cheryl was rather proud of herself. The odor of cool whip had produced a Pavlovian response in Lisa, manifesting itself in a nosebleed. Cheryl still didn't understand the connection that the Japanese made between nosebleeds and impure thoughts, but in this case it had come in handy. The loss of blood had relieved the pressure on Lisa's brain, and returned her ability for coherent thought. Once Cheryl had explained the situation, Lisa had insisted on tending to Jarvis herself. She had currently been 'tending' to him for the last fifteen minutes. Cheryl decided, for proprieties sake, to leave the infirmary until they decided to come out. She turned as Zemo, irritable as usual, entered the room.
      "Well?" he snapped impatiently. "Did it work?"
"It didn't cure her." Cheryl said mildly. "But she would seem to be out of danger. The progression of the disease has been halted." Cheryl turned back to her copy of 'Understanding Manga'. "She still has huge eyes, however, and I don't yet know how we're going to reverse that."
"Then where is she? I've just gotten word from the Japanese by E-mail. They're setting up a meeting for us, but they want proof that Jarvis still lives."
"Lisa's taking care of Jarvis now..." Cheryl began. Zemo, with his usual patience, strode over to the infirmary and flung open the door.  "No! Zemo, wait!" Cheryl cried, too late.
"Aaaaauugh!!!" Zemo screamed as he looked into the room. Clutching his eyes, he staggered back out of the infirmary and slammed the door behind him. He stood there twitching for a moment.
"Remind me..." he said finally, with a hint of revulsion, "...to burn that hospital gurney."
 

NTU had been calculating the trajectory and velocity that Zeke was traveling at when last seen, but had finally given up. Chances were that Zeke had come down by now, and considering the height from which he invariably fell, the location of his landing was moot. Zeke was definitely street pizza.
NTU sighed and turned towards Joe. "Maybe we should say a few words out of respect. You knew him longer than I did, and a short eulogy would be in order."
Joe shrugged and bowed his head. "Zeke, you were a cheat at cards, and you didn't know a flange from a hole in your head. You smelled like Ben Gay, and your dental hygiene was highly questionable." He heaved a big sigh. "I always looked up to you, like you were my own father, and I'll miss ya'."
"Touching." NTU said with admiration. He turned his face towards the sky were Zeke was last seen screaming like a little girl. "Zeke, you gave your life for engineering, and there could be no more noble death for which a man could aspire. In your honor, I christen our invention..." he paused for the proper dramatic effect that the occasion demanded. "...Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke!" With that he popped the clutch and threw the giant mechanical arm into a colossal salute. The eight-track player installed in the thumb started up, filling the air with the mournful sounds of Johnny Cash. Beneath his mask, a single tear rolled forelornly down NTU's cheek. Joe broke into enthusiastic applause.
"Well, now that that's over, how about we loot the Pizza Hut for dinner?" NTU said finally, powering down G.F.R.A.Z. However, before they could indulge themselves, NTU received an incoming call from Zemo's castle.
"NTU-150 here, go ahead." He replied, opening the channel.
"Oh, thank heavens you're all right." Cheryl's voice answered.
"Jarvis and Zemo are here, planning a counter-attack on the Japanese.  They'd like your help in devising a way to take down that Giant Samurai Robot."
"I'm way ahead of them." NTU said. "I've already devised a suitable mechanical deterrent to the Japanese's hostility. I was just about to fire up the anti-gravity generator and take it out for some pizza..."
"Tell Johnny Socko to get his Flying Robot's ass over here, immediately!!!" Zemo's voice came across the channel. He seemed to be in his usual crisis mood.
"Did you hear Zemo's polite request?" Cheryl asked dryly.
NTU sighed It seemed that there would be no large stuffed-crust pepperoni pizza tonight. "I'm on my way."
 

"Uhm, thanks..." Visionary began hurriedly, trying not to make eye contact with the men surrounding his table. "...but I don't need a drink." He motioned to Yo. "This is my *friend* Yo, my *wife* isn't here right now, *she's* elsewhere, but we're still quite happily married, my *female wife* and I."
"Subtle." Yo observed.
"Hmmm?" the man asked, confused. "Oh! No, it's nothing like that." he said with a chuckle. "I'm Larry, this is my assistant Daryl, and this is my other assistant Daryl" he said, nodding towards his companions.  "We made your eyes."
Visionary looked first at him, then at the two Daryls. The Daryls nodded. "Ummmm... okay." he said as he scanned the room for the nearest emergency exits.
"Please, join us." Yo invited, pulling out a chair and ignoring Visionary's shocked expression.
"Thanks" Larry said, sitting down. He looked critically at Visionary.  "I know we didn't build you with any powers, but aren't you overcompensating just a bit?" He nodded at Vizh's armor.
"Huh?" said Visionary, who was totally lost in this conversation.  "This? This is just a disguise" He said this before realizing that pointing a disguise out to strangers kind of defeated the purpose of wearing a disguise in the first place.
"Good idea." Larry said approvingly. "Folks in this part don't take too kindly to replicants."
"Why does everyone keep saying that!?" Visionary demanded. "I'm real, dammit!"
"No, you're not." Larry said calmly. "We should know. Like we said, we made your eyes." Larry took a sip of beer. "You're a synthetic."
"Really?" Yo asked curiously, looking carefully at his fellow Regular.
"No, not really!" Visionary retorted. "This guy is nuts! Or drunk!
He's a drunk nut!"
"Well..." Larry said, staring into his beer, "they did call me mad at the university... but we showed them... WE SHOWED THEM ALL!!!" He stopped suddenly and looked around, as if he'd said too much.  Finally, he leaned forward, and when he spoke again, it was in a whisper. "We got a grant from the government to develop artificial soldiers for military use..." he paused and took a pull from his drink. "Anyway, we turned out a prototype synthetic soldier, I mean, this guy had the works... death-ray eyes, phenomenal strength and endurance, unpenetrable skin... the military was thrilled and put the prototype into immediate production."
"Uh-huh." Visionary said. "But *I* don't have any of those abilities!
I'm just an average man."
"Exactly!" Larry said triumphantly. "The military synthetics were huge, handsome, formidable men. They were great for soldiers and bodyguards, but as covert operatives, they stuck out like a sore thumb. What military intelligence needed was a replicant that could pass as an average schmoe, one that nobody would give a second glance." He looked Yo in the eyes. "They didn't think we could pull it off..." he grinned. "But we sure showed them, didn't we!"
"Huh?" Yo asked.
"We built a synthetic that was *exactly* like an average man! He was perfectly average in strength, intelligence, endurance and vulnerability! Smack him and he'd say 'Ow!' Punch him in the gut and he'd spew his breakfast all over your shoes!" He looked at Visionary.  "He... or rather, *you*...were a work of art."
"Fine." Visionary said, deciding to humor the man's delusions, "If I'm artificial, then what? Do I live forever?"
"Nah" Larry said. "You're due for a fatal seizure at the age of sixty-eight. Try to act surprised." he leaned in close to Visionary.  "Don't worry too much about the mole you'll develop in ten years, though, it'll be benign."
"Forgive me..." Yo began. "but if he is average as you say, then why, in intellect, does he seem..." he left it hanging.
Larry shrugged. "There are more stupid people in the world than you'd guess."
"Hey!" said Visionary indignantly, as he realized what they were talking about. He decided enough was enough. "So tell me, if all this is true, then why am I not a spy?" he asked smugly.
"But is that not why you and Starseed are here?" Yo asked.
"Shut up, Yo." Visionary hissed moodily.
"Military Intelligence was a little put-out by your price tag." Larry explained. "They thought 2.8 billion dollars for the equivalent of a cashier at McDonalds was a bit excessive." He chuckled. "As I recall, they had to hide the research money alone by overpricing office supplies in the Pentagon budget. They had to buy a lot of $1200 toilet seats to cover your creation." He leaned back in his chair.  "When it was all over, they took our notes, but decided that you'd just take up warehouse space."
"So then what happened?" Yo asked, enthralled.
Larry downed the rest of his beer. "We downloaded some memories into him and sent him out into the world." He gave Visionary an appraising look. "It seems you've done alright for yourself too. Even got married!"
Visionary crossed his arms defiantly. This was all bulls#!t. He was real, dammit! He was real!
Larry looked at his watch. "Well, it's been nice reminiscing, but the Daryls and I should be going. Nice seeing you again, Project 31072.  Keep in touch." He gathered up his glass and turned to leave with the Daryls. "Oh, and take good care of them eyes! Don't go poking any sharp objects into them!" he called as he left.
"Well, that was interesting, was it not?" Yo asked cheerfully. "What is it like, to meet one's maker?" He gave Larry, who was in the process of stumbling out the door, a critical look. "I would hope that my God smells a bit better." he commented thoughtfully.
Visionary sat scowling, the grinding of his teeth clearly audible.
"Oh" Yo added quickly. "No offense meant."
 

Starseed had been nervous when he first approached the men standing guard outside the booth. Telling them that he had `business' to discuss with their employer had gotten him past them, but he was still painfully aware of their hulking presence on the other side of the curtain. Not that the woman inside the booth was any more soothing.
For one thing, there was her wardrobe. She wore a large fedora and what looked to be a silk Zoot Suit. The most notable thing about the ensemble was that it was entirely, monochromatically pink. The overall effect was of Barbie trying to pass herself off as a pimp.
With all of that, it was hard to judge the woman under all that pink.  While she had the giant eyes that identified her as a manga character, her accent was decidedly American. Those eyes were deceptively large, as their was little innocence within their depths. She had watched Starseed carefully as he outlined why he had come in carefully vague terms. With those huge orbs of hers trained on him, Starseed was uncomfortably reminded of an owl watching a mouse.
"So..." she said smoothly once he had finished. "You'd like me to squeal on the mastermind behind all this... unpleasantness." She gave him a tight smile. "Is that right, Mr...?"
 "Smith." he answered quickly. "Yes, that's essentially it. Ms...?"
"Masamune."
"Ah... nice place you got here." Starseed said quickly. "By far the best Karaoke Sushi bar I've ever patronized."
"Thanks." she said dryly. "The information you require could be available. The question is, what are you willing to pay?"
"I've been authorized to offer top dollar, but on a sliding scale..." Starseed said in a business-like tone. "Depending on the usefulness of your information, of course."
"Of course." she answered in a tone devoid of warmth. She watched him carefully. "But then Zemo is a rather wealthy man, is he not?"
"Zemo? er... who's Zemo?"

She flashed him a toothy smile that didn't noticeably lighten the mood and snapped her fingers. Instantly, the curtain in the front of the booth opened and one of the massive guards handed her a folder, then reclosed the curtain.
Ms. Masamune leafed through the papers within the file.
"Let's see, that would be Visionary on stage." she noted, not looking up. "I should add the fact that he would seem to be tone deaf to his file." She flipped through a few more pages. "The rather confusing fellow recording his performance would almost have to be Yo." She glanced at him. "Do you know, we could tell you what he had for breakfast every morning since he arrived in the Parodyverse, but we're still not sure about his gender?" She shook her head and closed the folder. "As you can see, Starseed, there are some things even the Yakusa can't find out. Without the proper remuneration, I may not be able to tell you what you need to know."
Starseed swallowed hard. He was no expert on Japanese culture, but even he had heard of the Yakusa, or `Japanese Mafia'. "If I may be so bold..." he began hesitantly, "Why would the Yakusa show such interest in us?"
She leaned back in her chair. "It's not just us, you understand. Long ago, the various crime organizations realized that the Parodyverse was far too unstable to waste time fighting over territory." she explained calmly. "Instead, they decided to control it jointly. The cartel leaders decided that we should keep an eye on you leaguers. When an outside agitator started stirring up the locals here in Mangatown, the cartel knew Jarvis would eventually send some Regulars to investigate. That made you the responsibility of the Yakusa."
"That brings us back to the leader of this invasion..." Starseed said, trying to appear unruffled. "We want a name. What do you want?"
"Just the knowledge that we were able to help you in your time of need." she replied sweetly. "And, of course, the assurance that, should we ever be in need ourselves, we can count on the Regulars to return the favor."
"In other words, you want us in debt to you..." Starseed said coldly, "with you deciding when and how we repay you." He scoffed. "An open-ended deal? Who do you think I am... Visionary?"
"Actually" she said with a glare, "I think you're out of your League.  Your leader Jarvis is infected with a virus, the Regulars are scattered to the winds in the invasion, and you have no hope of restoring order without information."
She took a drink of saki. "Does that about cover it?"
Starseed sighed. They were desperately short on time, and they needed this name. Jarvis would be pissed, but then he would probably be even more so if his head exploded before they could find out who was behind this mess. "Fine." he said sharply. "Now, what do you know?"
"I know you should lay off the bacon in the mornings." She said as she snapped her fingers again. Once more, one of the bodyguards produced a folder. "Your latest physical reports that your cholesterol is getting rather high for a man your age." She handed the folder to Starseed. "Here, reintroduce yourself to an old friend. I have a feeling that you'll be meeting again soon."
 

      "This is all you could come up with?" Zemo demanded. "A flying arm?"
"Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke." NTU-150 corrected. "And if you think you could do better, you're welcome to try."
"Don't mind him." Cheryl said sweetly. "He's been that way all night.  It's a very lovely disembodied arm. It's just not quite what we were expecting."
NTU sighed. "I had actually hoped for more, but supplies were kind of limited." He patted a giant finger affectionately. "It gets some damn impressive gas mileage, though."
Jarvis and Lisa came out of Zemo's castle to join them on the front porch. Though they both were feeling better, the physical effects of the Anime virus were still apparent: They both had huge eyes and tiny noses. Lisa was wearing her `Sailor Lisa' outfit, and was idly stroking Mrs. Muffins.
"Starseed and Visionary still haven't reported in." Lisa said. She noticed the worried expression that crossed Cheryl's face. "I'm sure they're fine." she added comfortingly. "I wasn't able to contact anyone else either. The Japanese seem to have put up some kind of communications barrier."
A look of concern filtered across Zemo's masked face. "Well, no matter. You shall have plenty of time to gather our forces once the negotiations begin." He turned towards NTU. "Let's be off, the time of the meeting approaches."
"Not so fast, Baron." Jarvis said. "I'm coming with you. There's no way I'm letting you negotiate with the Japanese by yourself.  Especially when I'm one of the bargaining chips."
"Don't be an idiot!" Zemo snapped. "I'm not about to walk into the enemy camp with the one thing they want!"
"He's right, you know." Lisa said to Jarvis. "I'll have to go instead.  That way the Japanese can't get their hands on you, yet they'll have proof that the Anime virus wasn't lethal." She walked towards NTU.  "Where do I mount that thing?" she said with a nod towards Zeke. "So to speak."
NTU backed away. "Uhhh...."
"What?" Lisa snapped.
"It's just... this virus... I'm kinda partial to the current size of my eyes..."
"Oh... that." Cheryl said. "The virus in question has to be injected into the bloodstream. Well, that or..." she coughed and blushed slightly, "... um... through rather *close* social contact, if you get my meaning."
Lisa smiled at him. "Since I don't have my can-opener with me, you should be safe."
 

Visionary was still in a foul mood when Starseed finally emerged from behind the curtain. He looked rather pale, but then all Visionary had to go by was his chin, since his disguise covered the rest of him. He walked quickly to the table where Vizh was waiting with Yo.
"We've got some serious trouble." he said grimly. "Let's get out of here and find a phone."
"What is it?" Visionary asked as he and Yo rose to follow Starseed out the door. He shot one last scowl at the stage, where a rather large Japanese gentleman was belting out Madonna's `Like a Virgin'. While he was thankful to be leaving Masamune's, Starseed's dire statement took the joy out of it. "Did you find out who's behind this all?"
"Do you remember that whole `League of Irregulars' thing from a while back?" Starseed asked as he marched to a pay-phone across the street.  He went to fish some change out of his pocket before realizing his disguise didn't have pockets.
"Yeah, vaguely." Visionary answered dryly. While the rest of the posters returned to their normal routines following that clash, Visionary was still dealing with it. Sometimes he thought he would be picking curtain patterns to replace the ones destroyed with his condo's east wall until the end of time. "What about it?"
"All the doppelgangers were accounted for or destroyed except for one..." Starseed said, deciding to call collect.
"Evil spiffy? Or was he the original? In which case it was good spiffy..." Visionary answered, trying to work out the continuity involved. "Did he have a fern or not?"
"Never-mind the spiffys!" Starseed snapped. He slammed the phone down.
"Damn! Out of Service." He turned back towards his fellow Regulars.  "Ms. M says that nobody has ever seen this leader in person, that he always communicated through the internet or by video conference calls."
"Who's Ms. M?" Yo asked.
"Hmm? oh, Masamune, the informant." Starseed said. He decided this wasn't the time to inform them that they were now in bed with the mob.
Yo looked surprised. "I believed the woman to be a man."
"Not to nit-pick, Yo, but you always were a little confused on the subject." Starseed said, patting him on the shoulder. "Anyway, this leader comes into every home in Mangatown via television or some other electronic medium, and tries to convince them to launch this assault. They're reluctant, until he reveals his trump card... he has somehow found a way to bring characters out of television, videogames, movies and the like to life!  Suddenly, the Japanese can create an army right here in Parodiopolis out of the pop culture they brought with them."
"Umm, no offense..." Visionary said slowly, "but we kinda already knew that. Maybe not the details, but the rest was easy enough to figure. I mean, Pokemon don't usually attack and devour the patrons of Walmart."
"True." Starseed admitted. "But this informant did have some useful tidbits, such as where their base of operations is." He made a face.  "The worst news was the information about the leader. Doesn't he sound familiar?"
"Max Headroom?" Yo guessed.
"What if I told you his initials were V.Z.?"
Yo put it together first. "Then the Baron..."
"Is walking into a trap." Starseed finished. "Jarvis isn't the one he wants, it's Baron Zemo himself! This was all a tactic to get him out in the open where he'd be most vulnerable!"
Yo noticed Visionary standing there with a blank look on his face.
"Virtual Zemo." Yo supplied helpfully.
"Oh!" Visionary said with sudden comprehension. "Yes, that does make sense, doesn't it?"
 

NTU-150 popped the clutch on Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke, stepped on the gas and they were off. He was pleased with the quiet rumble of the engines and the subtle tremors running along hull of the wrist.  This was one sweet machine, especially considering it had been thrown together in a matter of hours with spare parts. Necessity was the mother of invention, after all.
Zemo stood upon GFRAZ's outstretched index finger, approximating the pose of Washington crossing the Delaware. NTU could see that he was in his element as well. It seemed crisis brought out the best in the members of the Parodyverse. Sure, normally he and Zemo would be enemies, but here they were, riding a flying arm together to meet with an occupying army of pop culture in hopes of ending an invasion that had destroyed half the capital city of the Parodyverse. In such times, where else would anyone want to be?
"Congratulations, NTU" Lisa said, joining him behind the wrist, "we've been airborne for five minutes and no catastrophic failures yet." She winked at him with her enormous Anime eyes. "Well, I suppose the night's still young."
"You're in a good mood" NTU-150 observed, deciding to ignore the jibe, "...considering your head nearly exploded, an entire country is trying to kill Jarvis, half the Regulars are unaccounted for, and Starseed and Visionary are missing behind enemy lines."
"I know." Lisa answered with a grin. "It's great, isn't it? Here I thought I would be tied up in legal briefs and meetings all day. You have to love this place. If I didn't want a occasional surreal break from the daily grind, I'd probably live in Ohio or someplace." She noticed that NTU was studying the dashboard in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at her. "What's your problem?"
"Could you point those headlights of yours someplace else?" NTU said gruffly.
"I *beg* your pardon?" Lisa asked sharply. She checked the front of her 'Sailor Lisa' outfit. She had never had complaints before.
"Your eyes" NTU clarified. "they're kinda creeping me out."
"Oh, these little ol' things?" she asked sweetly, fluttering her giant lashes. She chuckled as NTU shuddered. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you..." she leaned in close to him. "How serious is it between you and Tina? I mean, is that a cod piece or a chastity belt?"
"Visionary was right." NTU said in defeat. "You are evil."
Lisa gave him a wolfish grin. "I prefer the term 'morally ambiguous'."
 

"This just doesn't make sense!" Jarvis said for what seemed like the hundredth time.
"Yes, dear" Cheryl said, still studying the Anime virus under the microscope. "So you've said." Jarvis was obviously one of those men who didn't handle being sidelined in a crisis very well. He was quickly wearing a groove in Zemo's carpeting as he stalked back and forth like a caged animal. It was only her inhuman patience that kept her from tying the man to his hospital bed. Well, that and her fear that after all the time he's spent with Lisa, he might misunderstand her intentions. "I really think you should lie down, the virus is still in your system and should your blood pressure get too high, well, Lisa's no longer here." She gave him a knowing smile. "I'm sure you'd find *my* methods of dealing with that problem a bit less enjoyable." She nodded to the jar of leaches Zemo had left her.
Jarvis flushed at the memory and wiped a bit of blood from his nose with a Kleenex. "Fine" he agreed grudgingly and sat down on the gurney.
"Close enough." Cheryl said, clicking off the microscope's light. She turned to look at the leader of the League of Regulars. "Now, what *exactly* is it that 'just doesn't make sense'?"
Jarvis gestured angrily with his hands. "This whole damn thing! The Japanese attack! Admittedly, I took over their country, but that whole thing was entirely peaceful, at least to Japan. The Japanese people didn't even notice when I rose to power or when I left office.  I mean, okay... I didn't understand everything they said to me... but they said it calmly..." He leaned back and sighed. "I certainly didn't detect any hard feelings. It just doesn't make sense."
Cheryl pondered it. "Well, their economy is in the dumpster, if the Wall Street Journal and CNN are to be believed."
Jarvis waved his hand dismissively. "It was like that when I got there."
"I'm sure it was." Cheryl said. "But I was driving at something else... Perhaps this invasion isn't about revenge on you. Perhaps it's economically motivated. It could be due to any number of reasons."
Jarvis thought about that. "So infecting me could have been a diversion." He got up and started pacing again, but Cheryl decided to let it pass for now. "When it gets right down to it, why no attack from Japan itself? We've only seen their pop culture on the front lines. Who, exactly, is in charge of their campaign?" He pounded his fist down on the gurney. "Damn! We need more information! Where the hell are Starseed and Visionary?!" Too late, he realized who he was talking to. "Er, that is... I'm sure they're all right."
"I know they are." Cheryl said with more confidence than she felt. "I know my husband, and no matter what is thrown in his way, he won't give up. Visionary may be a lot of things, but he's not a quitter."
 

"I renounce all previous loyalties!" Visionary yelled along with the Manga and Anime characters in Virtual Zemo's army. "I pledge my life to the rightful Emperor of the Parodyverse! Death to the small-eyes!"
"Cheery mantra." Starseed noted from his left.
"I prefer 'Love the Bunnies'." Yo chimed in from his right. "Bunnies don't force loyalty with guns."
Needless to say, they were having some difficulties reporting what they had learned back to Zemo. Shortly after exiting Masamune's Bar they had been caught in a 'recruitment' drive by Virtual Zemo's goons. Now that he had control of Parodiopolis, VZ needed more troops to expand his lines and conquest new territories. This meant that the residents of Mangatown were signing on for a tour of duty, whether they wanted to or not. Luckily for them, their disguises worked well enough to keep them from being butchered by the patrol that rounded them up, and Yo only had to think of himself as a manga character to pass their inspection.
Nearly the entire population of the Japanese district of the city was gathered in Parodiopolis Square for a rally and a speech by their new Emperor. The huge video screen over the square flashed on, and the 'Imperial' features of Virtual Zemo dominated the picture. Visionary noted that, contrary to Yo and Banjooo's description of him, he now had the large eyes of a manga character.
"Don't look at it!" Starseed hissed in his ear.
"Why?" Visionary said, perplexed. "I've never seen Virtual Zemo before, I'm kinda curious."
Starseed whapped him on the back of his head, hard enough for Visionary to feel through his helmet.
"Ow! What the hell was that for!?"
"I said 'don't look at it'!" He repeated. "Take a look at the crowd instead."
Visionary adjusted his visor to block out the screen and watched the crowd as Virtual Zemo addressed them. He noticed the rapt expressions on their faces. "They were about as happy to be here as we were, but now they're hanging on his every word..."
"Exactly what I expected." Starseed said smugly. "Think about it.  Virtual Zemo was created inside Zemo's computer, from a combination of our Zemo's DNA and the DNA of his opposite. Not only is he likely to think like the Baron, he had total access to the Baron's computer files before he fled."
"The Bio-modem?" Yo guessed. "They are being mind controlled?"
"I'd bet on it." Starseed agreed. "We already knew that VZ recreated Zemo's 'Movie Gun', or at least a reasonable facsimile. That's how he got all the cartoon and video game characters for his army. The only question left was why anyone would follow him." He looked at Yo.  "From what you said, he wasn't very likable."
"True." Yo confirmed.
"So that's it, then." Starseed said triumphantly. "We get to our Zemo, gather up his Bio-modem, put it in reverse and end this invasion."
      Visionary looked at him skeptically. "Reverse?"
He shrugged. "All mind-controlling devices have a reverse switch, either that or all those 'Super Friends' episodes I watched as a kid lied to me." He looked around the Square. "The real question now is:
How do we resign from the army?"
"We could kiss our commanding officer." Yo suggested.
Visionary never could tell when he was joking. "I'm not sure VZ's army believes in 'don't ask, don't tell'." He sighed. "Besides, even if we get away from this mob without being hung for desertion, we still have to find a way to get to Zemo with what we've learned."
Suddenly a large battle-armored robot loomed above them. "YOU THREE!!!" it roared as it trained its weapons on them. "The general wants a word with you!"
"Yeah?" Starseed answered in a dangerous voice. "Well I've got one for you..." He took a deep breath.
"Wait!" Visionary recognized when Starseed was about to cut loose with his 'Gaaaaah' power. "You said yourself that these people are being mind controlled! We can't hurt them!" Visionary decided not to mention that he doubted Starseed could take out the entire Manga army.
Starseed considered it for a moment, then finally exhaled with a sigh. "Fine. Take us to your leader." he said to the giant War Mech.
The crowd began their chant again as the three of them were marched to a pavilion on the edge of the square. Their mechanical escort stopped at the entrance but waved them through. Visionary nervously followed Starseed and Yo into the interior.
He wasn't sure what a general's pavilion looked like in Japan, but he doubted this was a fair representation. First of all, it was all rather ornate. This particular general didn't follow the example of the Spartans. Then there was the color scheme: Instead of the more traditional olive green or khaki, everything was pink.
The general was seated at a table near the back of the pavilion, and she was even more surprising than her surroundings. She was a woman in her mid-to-late-twenties with Manga features and dressed in a pink uniform. She looked up as they came to stand in front of her with an irritated frown. "What the hell are you still doing here, Starseed?" she demanded. "You'll have a hard time paying us back if you end up dead on the front lines!"
 

Zemo reveled in the crisp night wind that tore at his hood.  Thankfully, the Regulars, NTU-150 and Lisa, were carrying on their insipid conversation back on the wrist, leaving Zemo free with his thoughts. He stood proudly on the outstretched index finger of NTU's Giant Flying Robot Arm. It was a crude construction, true, but Zemo had to admit a twinge of admiration. For as large of a pain as they were, the Regulars were decent troops when pressed. It was a shame they put their misguided faith in that infernal butler. With them under his command, they could take over the entire world in mere weeks! Jarvis had been leading them for months and they didn't even control a single state in the country! Not even Rhode Island!  Pathetic.
Of course, if asked why he and his League of Left-outs no longer controlled any countries, he would point out the paperwork. Running a country was a pain in the ass. Zemo no longer set his sights on such penny-ante stakes. It was the world or nothing.
Once again his attention turned to his current mysterious adversary.  Zemo liked how this man thought. Now this was warfare! The Japanese attacked quickly, without demands or mercy, flattening everything in their path. True, this world was his: by destiny if not by popular opinion, but the trials of rebuilding were worth the opportunity to face an adversary who knew what conquest was all about. This was the kind of war he was born to wage.
The slut, Lisa, came down the hand to address him. "NTU says we're approaching the coordinates the Japanese picked for the meeting."
"Fine, then tell him to land, woman!" The Baron snapped. This female always put him on edge, nearly as much as her 'plaything' Jarvis. He looked at her miniskirt flapping in the wind.
"Why, Baron..." Lisa said in a shocked voice, "see anything you like?"
"We go to face the enemy, and you're dressed as a cross between a ballerina and a prostitute." The Baron snarled. "Aren't you cold?"
"You mean you can't tell?" Lisa asked, widening her eyes in feigned innocence. "The way you were staring at my chest, I assumed it must be obvious."
Zemo bit into his lip so hard he tasted blood. She was baiting him, he knew that. No one talked to Zemo like that! He put his hand on his sword hilt. "When this is over, you shall taste my blade." he hissed.
"Is that what you call yours?" She asked with a wide smile. "Please, Baron, let's keep our minds on business. The Japanese are waiting. We can decide how to celebrate later."
 

Akiko Masamune had grown up as the only child of the head of one of
the most powerful Yakusa clans. The family business had demanded that she emphasize certain traits that weren't textbook examples of feminine behavior, and she did so without any hesitation. Still, part of her resented not being able to show a feminine side to the various thugs under authority. Once she felt secure in her position, the resentful part of her manifested itself in a love for pink. She knew it set her fellow crime bosses' teeth on edge, but she also knew her reputation of being someone too dangerous to cross made them keep it to themselves. Privately, she thrilled at the distaste that flickered across their faces anytime they had to deal with her.
So when her superiors in the International Organized Crime Cartel that ran the underworld of the Parodyverse told her that she had been recommended for an assignment by her colleagues, she knew she was being set up. Still, she hadn't been able to find the catch.  Arranging up the deal with the League of Regulars had the promise of being a prestigious assignment, one that could mean a promotion within the organization. Now that she was in the same room with some of them, she was quickly seeing the downside.
"Well?" She demanded. "I was under the impression that you Regulars got results! If I wanted to defeat Virtual Zemo myself, I wouldn't have given you that folder!"
"We were regrettably... detained" Starseed answered her. "You forgot to mention that VZ's troops were sweeping the streets of all available men." He gave her what she imagined was supposed to be a charming smile. "However, I suppose we *should* be on our way..."
"Not so fast." She said. "Our deal was for information. Saving your sorry butts from combat wasn't part of the negotiations."
"True." Starseed conceded. "But then, as you yourself said, if we die before informing our teammates, the deal dies with us."
"You two know each other?" The one called Visionary asked with a clueless expression on his face. From her surveillance reports, it was his usual look.
"Visionary, Yo..." Starseed began with a flourish. "I have the greatest pleasure to introduce our mysterious beneficiary, the divine Ms. Masamune."
Beneficiary? A slow grin spread across her face. "You haven't told them yet."
"Ah... no." Starseed admitted. "I felt they had enough to worry about."
"But..." Yo began, "I did not know she was... militarily disposed."
Masamune shrugged. "The Yakusa helped Virtual Zemo out a while back, setting things in motion for this whole endeavor of his. The 'general' title's mostly ornamental, but it has it's advantages."
      "Yakusa?" Visionary asked. "Is that a car company?"
"Never-mind." Starseed said. He turned to Masamune. "Are you telling me that your... organization... is playing to both sides of this conflict?"
"We like to cover all bases." She leaned back in her chair. "So these two have no idea about our arraignment? Well then, it seems to me that they're expendable. Losing them in the middle of Virtual Zemo's army wouldn't have any effect on our deal, would it?"
Starseed looked pained. "Uh... I don't suppose it'd help if I told them now, would it?"
She grinned. "It only takes one spy to report information."
His shoulder slumped in defeat. "What do you want to let us *all* go?"
Akiko pretended to consider it for a moment. "Your League is in debt to my superiors, but I used my own resources to secure your release from the horde outside." She grinned at him. "I believe that makes you three in debt to me, specifically. I'm sure I'll think of some way for you to pay me back, but in the meantime, let's just keep this particular transaction between ourselves, agreed?"
"Agreed." He muttered.
"Well then" she said pleasantly, "let's get you all on your way." Akiko Masamune smiled to herself. When this whole invasion was over, she had a feeling some very interesting opportunities were going to develop, and she didn't get to her lofty position in the organization by ignoring opportunities...
 

"You ignorant buffoons!" Zemo screamed at the surrounding soldiers.  "You dare to lay hands on a Zemo?! I shall shave the flesh from your bones just as the deli does with my prosciutto ham!!!"
"You're delivery's still good, but the threats themselves could use a bit more pizzazz.." Lisa observed. "That one needed a bit more work, anyway." Things had obviously taken a turn for the worse. After NTU-150 had dropped them off a half mile from the chosen neutral grounds for their negotiations, Lisa and Zemo had proceeded on foot.  Unfortunately, it seemed that the Japanese had little interest in negotiating. Instead of diplomats, they had found a sizable chunk of the invading army waiting for them at the arranged site. They had been taken into custody and had been marching for what seemed like miles. Zemo had long ago run out of his 'A-list' threats, and was well into his lesser material. As Lisa stumbled along, shackled to Baron Zemo, she began to think that perhaps a night curled up with some legal briefs wouldn't have been so bad.
"I shall use your eyes for olives in my martinis!" Zemo continued to rage. "Your testicles shall be stomped like grapes into wine!"
"That one had some bite." she noted wearily.
"I did not ask for your critique!" the Baron hissed coldly. "I intend to let these vermin know that, be they one or infinite multitudes, they shall die slowly by my hand and their tortured screams of agony will be drowned out by my laughter!"
"They're adequately terrified, I'm sure." Lisa answered, looking at the bored faces of the soldiers marching on either side of them. "The question is not what you'll do once you're free, but how to get free in the first place."
"Bah!" Zemo exclaimed. "A trifling matter." He returned his attention to the troops surrounding them. "I shall use your scalps as toilet brushes!" he raved. "Your intestines shall be ground into high protein animal feed, for distribution to methane producing pig farms!"
Lisa looked to the soldier on her left. "It's gonna be a long night."
 

"LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLE!!!!!!!" NTU-150 cried gleefully as he raced across the sky towards his target. This is what it was all about! It was finally time for a kung-fu showdown with the Giant Samurai Robot.
"Don't get carried away" a warm female voice said. "The Baron and the others are counting on you."
NTU jumped at the unexpected response and nearly fell off of his humongous airborne robotic body-part. "Who said that?!"
"I did." The sensuous voice came from the Aptiva computer mounted in the forearm.
"Uh... Zeke?"

"Not hardly." the voice answered. "I'm Baron Zemo's computer. He downloaded me into your 'Giant Flying Robot Arm' just before we left."
"That's 'Giant Flying Robot Arm ZEKE'." NTU corrected stiffly. "And what business did Zemo have messing with *my* invention?"
"Now don't get your back up." the computer answered soothingly. "He just thought you could use some help, that's all."
"How very thoughtful of him." NTU muttered.
It almost sounded like the computer sighed. "He is, isn't he? And those shoulders... mmmmmm... isn't he dreamy?"
"Zemo?!?" NTU said incredulously. "The guy with a face like roadkill?  The guy with a personality so grating that Mother Theresa would've slapped him? *That* Zemo?"
"Hhmph." the computer said in a prickly tone. "At least *his* inventions work."
"Bite me, HAL-lie" NTU answered moodily. Now that Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke was decidedly effeminate, the upcoming combat just didn't seem as glorious anymore.
"Yeah? Well, get over yourself, Robocop." The computer answered.  "We've got work to do. You've built yourself an impressive appendage, but let's see how well you use it."
 

"I am NOT afraid of commitment!" Jarvis declared defensively. "The issue has never come up. Besides, I'm not the one sleeping with every male in the Parodyverse, regardless of species!"
"Well, I should hope not." Cheryl observed calmly, sipping her tea.  "Besides, don't make her sound so sordid." she chided gently. "Her, umm, 'conquests'...have all been sentient beings, at least all the ones she's told me about. But the heart of the matter is not WHAT she does... er, that is to say, 'what actions she takes', ...but WHY she does what she does, dear."
Jarvis considered the question. "I don't know. I suppose it could be glandular... maybe a hormonal imbalance."
"OR..." Cheryl shot back calmly, "it could be a ploy to get your attention. Having an affair with a 75-foot tall Sea Monkey *is* rather attention grabbing. A woman sometimes flirts just to make sure you insensitive men are still paying attention.."
"Honey, how many times have I told you not to meddle?" came a voice from the doorway. Cheryl turned to see Visionary standing there wearily. "I leave you alone for a few hours, and you're already trying to get my teammates hitched." He grinned at her.
"I have to amuse myself somehow, dear" his wife answered calmly, setting down her tea without so much as batting an eye. She then ran over to him and wrapped his armored form in a fierce hug. "Just where have you been?" she scolded him. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through, you big thoughtless jerk?"
He chuckled. "I love you too, dear."
"Yes, yes..." Jarvis said eagerly. "This is all very touching, but what did you find out?"
Yo and Starseed came into the room and clasped hands with Jarvis.
"Have you no romance?" Yo said disapprovingly to Jarvis. Cheryl grabbed Yo and hugged him too.
"What I have is a splitting headache, eyeballs the size of grapefruits, and an invading army on my doorstop." Jarvis answered with a grimace. "Good to see you, though, Yo. Forgive me if I forgo the hug."
"We've got to talk." Starseed said, cutting through the reunion. "We found what we were looking for: Virtual Zemo's behind this mess, and he's got a working movie-gun and bio-modem at his disposal."
Jarvis froze as he filtered that news, then began to swear. "How could I have missed that?" he berated himself. "Damn, I must be slipping!"
"With all due respect" Cheryl reminded him. "Your brain almost got squashed into jelly. Personally, I'm surprised you can tie your own shoelaces and talk without drooling. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."
      Jarvis just nodded. "Anything else?"
"Visionary is tone-deaf." Yo supplied. "And plastic."
"I am not!" Visionary declared indignantly. "WILL you stop saying that!? That guy was nuts! And drunk!" He turned to his wife. "I'm real, dammit!!! Real!!!"
"Uh... if you say so, dear." Cheryl answered, having no idea what he was talking about, but then she had plenty of experience humoring him. "Although I have noticed that you do tend to sing off-key."
      Jarvis looked at Starseed. "Do I even want to ask?"
"Probably not." Starseed admitted. "Oh, uh... there is one more thing..." He coughed uncomfortably. "Maybe we should talk in private." He put his arm around Jarvis' shoulders and lead him into the next room. "Tell me, have you ever seen the movie 'Married to the Mob'?"
 

"Bring forward the prisoners, the Emperor wishes to inspect them!"
The captain of the guard called out. Zemo and Lisa were pulled to their feet and lead to the pavilion on the outskirts of the encampment. After their forced march to this place, Lisa had been hoping for a chance to rest. Hiking in leg shackles beat just about any aerobic exercise she had tried before, but the chaffing of the manacles probably insured that 'jazzercise' would stay more popular.
"On your knees!" The captain ordered when the reached the entrance to the pavilion.
"Oh, sure... NOW you try to be friendly." Lisa said with a sigh.
"A Zemo kneels before no man or god!!!" The Baron spat defiantly.
A sinister laugh came from the shadowed interior before them. "The woman is everything my reports said she was, and quite a bit different from the Lisa I knew." The tent-flap parted and the self appointed Emperor of the Parodyverse stepped out. "But you... you're exactly as I remembered you... loud and clueless."
"YOU!" The Baron roared.
Virtual Zemo leaned in towards Lisa. "I knew he was going to say that." VZ turned to his doppelganger. "Yes, it's me, in the flesh."
"I was noticing that..." Lisa said. "Last I had heard, you were just a computer simulation of a Zemo clone." She gave him an appraising look. "Yet you look real enough to me," she noted, "especially in all the right places."
Virtual Zemo waved his hand dismissively. "The barriers between 'virtual' and 'real' are much thinner than you might expect. Surely you didn't think that I would bring the characters of countless Japanese movies, Anime and video games into the real world without doing the same to myself?" He studied his hand as he rubbed his fingers together. "Still, I must say I find all this flesh to be...  distasteful."
"I'd be willing to show you the upside of it." Lisa offered seductively.
"YOU!" Baron Zemo repeated.
"Hmmmm." Virtual Zemo said. "He would seem to be stuck. I do hope he isn't broken. At least not yet." He leered at the shackled Baron.  "How does it feel, my twin, to know that I have beaten you on your own battleground? That I can waltz into the Parodyverse and succeed where you and Anti-Jarvis and all the others have failed?"
The original Zemo composed himself. "A Zemo is never beaten until he is dead! As I live and breath, you will NEVER hold dominion over this world." He stared defiantly at his virtual twin. "I suggest you kill me now, else your fate is sealed."
"Kill you?" The Emperor of the Parodyverse asked. "Do you forget? Has the shock of being so soundly defeated addled your mind? Before you so callously murdered me, *I* was the good Zemo." Virtual Zemo recounted icily. "Admittedly, my rebirth was tainted with your DNA, resulting in certain anti-social tendencies... but I am still a generous and benevolent man." He waved to the guards standing nearby.  "As such, I'm going to give you the one thing you want most: The chance to out-do my performance."
The guards grabbed Lisa and Zemo by their arms.
"Take them to the portal." Virtual Zemo commanded. He returned his attention to the Baron. "As I've said, I've bested you on your world.  Can you do the same to me?"
Lisa stared at him in disbelief. "You don't mean..."
"My dear, you'll absolutely love it." Virtual Zemo said with aplomb.
"Cyberspace is simply stunning this time of year..."
 

"Can you do it?" Jarvis asked, looking over Cheryl's shoulder.
"Theoretically, yes." Cheryl answered as she studied the blueprints for Zemo's inventions. It had taken them a while to circumvent the encryption codes that the Baron had placed on his classified files, but it had actually gone smoother than Cheryl had expected. The artificial intelligence that Zemo had given his database seemed to be elsewhere at the moment, so they had met with little resistance. "The effects of the Bio-modem can be reversed, provided you can get those affected by it to watch a broadcast carrying the inverse wavelength -- an antidote of sorts."
"See?" Starseed said smugly. "I told ya it had a reverse switch."
"Uh-huh." Visionary answered wearily. Considering that it was nearly dawn and he hadn't gotten any sleep for the last twenty hours, he did most everything wearily. At least he had been able to change out of his manga armor. "How do we get everyone in VZ's army to watch the same broadcast?"
"Hard core nudity" Starseed suggested. "That'll get their attention."
"Considering that we're likely to have to make this broadcast live, are you volunteering, dear?" Cheryl asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you ready to give 'the full monty', as it were?"
"Well, no, not me" Starseed said. "I kinda thought that... well, that is to say... considering it IS to save the world, after all..."
"Yes?" Cheryl asked in a dangerous voice.
Visionary quickly inserted himself between his teammate and his wife.  "Let him live, honey..." he said, patting her on the shoulder. "We may need him later."
"I'll do it." Yo said happily. "On Yo-planet, clothing is optional."
"No offense Yo, but we want to set their minds free, not confuse them even more." Jarvis answered. "Let's get back to our immediate concerns. What about the fictional characters Virtual Zemo has brought to life? Will destroying his movie gun destroy them?"
"Hard to say." Cheryl answered, studying the schematics. "I kind of doubt it, though. They're spread out all over the city, and if they were being sustained in our reality by the movie gun, an energy signature would be detectable. I'd guess that at this point they're as real as you or me."
"It would seem likely that they follow Zemo just as the others do."
Yo supplied. "They are being mime-controlled."
"Mind-controlled" Jarvis corrected. "You're probably right. In any event, we can mop up VZ's army once we take care of the Bio-modem."
"What about Virtual Zemo himself?" Visionary asked. "I mean, the guy exists in a machine and can flee across the internet, how do we stop him once and for all? I don't want to have to worry that he'll take over my blender two months from now and attack me."
"Our blender isn't on-line, dear." Cheryl reassured him. "Still, that's a good point. We are all rather vulnerable to technology. I don't like the idea of him running loose through Cyberspace either."
Jarvis considered it for a moment, his huge eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "What about this 'movie gun'... can it work in reverse also?"
Cheryl studied the plans. "The Baron's didn't, but theoretically, yes."
"Then I guess someone's just going to have to go into Cyberspace after him." Jarvis said with determination.
"You mean like in 'Lawnmower Man', when Pierce Bronsnan sent his gardener into the virtual world?" Starseed asked.
"What happened to him?" Yo asked curiously.
"He was an simple idiot when he went in..." Starseed answered, "but once inside, his mind expanded and he became a mad genius."
Visionary was rubbing his eyes wearily. When he looked up, he found everyone staring at him speculatively. "Er... What? Did I miss something?"
 

"Okay, that was a little too close." NTU admitted as the Giant Samurai Robot's sword whistled over his head. He hit the throttle and pulled up, delivering a wicked uppercut to the GSR's chin. His opponent staggered backwards, crushing much of Parodiopolis' Gaslight district. "Sorry about that!" he called to the fleeing citizens down below.
"This isn't working." the computer observed in its sensuous voice.
"What isn't working?" NTU asked defensively.
"This whole game of 'Rock-em Sock-em Robots' that you two are playing" the computer answered. "I don't think you'll be able to pummel him into submission."
NTU-150 ground his teeth in frustration. Zemo's computer was really cramping his style. "And I suppose you have a better idea..." he muttered.
"Naturally" it said smugly. "Although it's really the Baron's idea."
It sighed dreamily.
NTU banked Zeke into a hard right to avoid another chop from the GSR's sword. The fact that NTU was piloting nothing besides an arm left little choice of targets for the Japanese's war machine-- it was resigned to simply trying to chop the offending Giant Flying Robot Arm in half. "Earth to Hallie" NTU called, using the nickname it (she?) seemed to dislike most. "Perhaps you could stop dreaming of 'interfacing' with Zemo and spill the plan instead..."
The Giant Samurai Robot raised its arm and, with a deafening explosion, launched its fist at Zeke. NTU had been ready for this maneuver (the idea of shooting a robot hand at an opponent seemed like perfectly sound strategy to him) and he bent the Giant Flying Robot Arm at the elbow, narrowly avoiding the oncoming blow.
"This is what I've been waiting for!" Hallie exclaimed. "Quickly, fire Zeke's hand before the GSR can retrieve its own fist!"
"That's a last resort measure!" NTU protested. "After all, without the hand, the rest of the Flying Arm is pretty useless for battle..." He had to admit that he could still throw a pretty mean elbow without the hand, but he'd much rather use a few jabs and right crosses, maybe work the ribs a bit. He had already opened a gash above the GSR's left eye, and some kind of oil was running into it, decreasing his visibility on that side. NTU hadn't watched all those 'Rocky' movies for nothing.
"Just do it, already!" Hallie ordered testily.
"Yes ma'am." NTU muttered bitterly. He disengaged the docking clamps on the wrist and set the charges. "Fist away!" he cried as he hit the ignition button. The rest of Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke lunged backwards as the clenched fist rocketed out of the wrist socket.  "Happy now?" he asked coldly. There was no answer.
What happened next was rather unexpected. The hand unclenched in mid air and, firing retro rockets, maneuvered itself into position to slam into the GSR's severed wrist. Even from a distance, NTU could see the wires snaking out from inside Zeke's hand to make connections with the circuitry of the Giant Samurai Robot's exposed socket.
The Japanese Robot acted as though its arm was on fire, spasming wildly and flailing out with the infected right limb. Finally, with great determination, it held its own forearm out and raised its tremendous sword ominously.
"I don't think so" NTU said grimly. Sure, he didn't care for Hallie, but he wasn't about to watch as the hand that she had downloaded herself into was hacked off. Besides, he had spent a lot of time working on that hand, and was rather proud of it. Throwing the motors into overdrive, he sent what remained of the Flying Arm spinning through the air like a boomerang. Twirling violently, he still managed to steer the limb unerringly into the hand that held the humongous sword. The colossal weapon went sailing through the air to embed itself, perfectly upright, into the smoldering remains of Sniederman's Hardware.
Giant Flying Robot Arm Zeke finally gave out completely, and the battered remains plummeted from the sky, carrying the severely dizzy NTU with it. The invention and its creator hit the earth hard in a pile of twisted metal. NTU crawled from the wreckage of what had been his most successful invention yet to find himself at the toes of the looming GSR. Even though he knew he was about to die, he was more worried about the motion sickness he felt: Vomiting with one's face-plate down was an unpleasant experience, to say the least. He watched as the still twitching Samurai Robot raised an immense foot above him, blotting out the early morning sky. NTU powered up his repulsors for one final, hopeless, act of defiance.
Suddenly, the spasming of the robot stopped and the foot froze above him. Slowly, cautiously, it pulled away from him and lowered softly to the ground. The gigantic Japanese machine bent over to regard him with its artificial eyes. The huge right arm of the GSR swung around and reached out to him.
"Hey, partner" Hallie's voice came booming out from between the tremendous construct's lips. "You look like you could use a hand..."
 

"Are you sure she can be trusted?" Jarvis asked Starseed as they went over their final battle plans.
"Whatever else Masamune may be, I don't believe that she's working for Virtual Zemo." he replied confidently. "While the rest of her International Crime Cartel may be playing to both sides, she personally has too much invested in us to sell us out." He pointed to the map on the table. "If she says his base of operations is here, you can be pretty damn sure that it is."
"All right, that simplifies things" Jarvis said, examining the region. "Here are our goals, people. One: Free up communications, we're going to need to control them if we're going to reverse the effects of the Bio-modem. Two: Assuming that Virtual Zemo isn't walking around as flesh and blood, I'm going to have to go into Cyberspace after him."
"Why you?" Starseed asked. "VZ infected you as a red herring, as well as to make sure you couldn't lead the Regulars against him. It seems to me that your place is in command."
"For a number of reasons" Jarvis replied logically. "You and Yo are the only two present with any powers at all, you're going to be needed to hold the communications relay while Cheryl reprograms the Bio-modem. That leaves Visionary and me, and considering my experience with the original Baron Zemo, I'm more of a match for the Virtual one."
"Not to mention the fact that Virtual Zemo has Lisa as a hostage and you're taking that rather personally." Cheryl noted quietly.
Jarvis started a retort, but then sighed. "Yeah" he admitted, "there's that too. In any event, I expect you all to have complete control of the situation by the time I'm ready to come back. Any questions?"
They all exchanged glances. No one saw fit to question the sanity of the five of them attacking VZ's army in the heart of the their base of operations.
"All right then..." Jarvis said, as they all rose with determination.  "Virtual Zemo's little international incident has gone on long enough. Let's take the battle to him, people." He turned and strode purposefully towards the door. "Let's finish this."
 

"Hey, Zemie, time to rise and shine, baby-cakes." Lisa purred,
leaning on all fours over the prone form of Baron Zemo.
The scourge of the Parodyverse groaned and opened his eyes.
"So..." Lisa began, with a wicked grin on her face, "Was it good for you too?"
"What?!" Zemo snapped, bolting upright. "What are you talking about, wench?" He looked around the odd landscape. "What happened?"
"Baron!" she cried in mock dismay, rising to her feet, "you mean you don't remember?" She let out a theatrical sigh and turned her back on him. "And here I thought that we shared something special... ah well, I suppose that next time I'll have to be more inventive in my use of cool whip..."
She got some satisfaction from catching Zemo out of the corner of her eye as he hastily double checked that he was, in fact, fully dressed.  Sure, teasing the Baron was a bit cruel, but she needed something to keep her mind off their current predicament. She looked around the alien landscape of Cyberspace. In many respects it resembled the wilderness on the outskirts of Parodiopolis, except that everything had that slightly shiny, plastic look that identified it as computer generated imagery. A close inspection of the surrounding trees revealed many of their textures to be merely patterns painted on the smooth bark.
The Baron gained his feet and stood, scowling, as he surveyed his surroundings. "How long have we been here, woman?" he asked curtly.
"Who knows?" Lisa said with a shrug. "I only woke up a few minutes before you." She squeezed her left hand and could feel both the pressure and the warmth of her virtual fingers. Digging her thumbnail into her palm brought some semblance of pain, although it felt oddly distorted.
"Fine, then you are of little use anymore" he said crisply as he turned and strode into the virtual forest. "Farewell, though in truth, I could care less."
"Hey!" Lisa called indignantly, running to catch up to him. "You know, Baron, all things considered, I think it might be best if we stuck together" she said pointedly as she fell into step behind him.  "Who knows? Maybe I can be more help than you think, and judging from VZ's personal dislike for you, you're liable to need all the help you can get. In any event, this is no time to get cute and pull some pig-headed, macho, I-am-Zemo crap."
"I assure you, woman..." Zemo said bitterly, although he made no effort to stop her from accompanying him, "there is absolutely nothing 'cute' about me."
"Oh, I don't know..." she said sweetly from behind him, "I think that birthmark on your right hip might qualify." While it took some effort, she did manage to resist laughing out loud as Zemo's entire body clenched in shock.
 

Visionary came squirming back through the underbrush to the spot where the others waited in concealment. They were hiding in a small crop of trees on a hill overlooking Virtual Zemo's camp. "I got a pretty good look at their set-up" he reported to Jarvis.
      "How many are there?" Jarvis asked quickly
"More than I could conveniently count" Visionary said with a sigh.
"Estimate, dear" Cheryl suggested. "Could they fill Michigan Stadium?"
"About five times over, I say." He answered grimly.
Jarvis shot Cheryl a questioning glance.
"Five hundred thousand." She stated. "Give or take."
"Oh, well, that's no problem" Starseed said sarcastically. "I'll take the two-hundred and fifty thousand on the left."
Jarvis ignored him. "Could you see the communications station?" he asked Visionary.
The Regular nodded and started sketching in the dirt. "We're here" he said, drawing an 'X', "the soldiers have tents pitched all along this inner circle, about two hundred yards from their encampment perimeter, which is regularly patrolled. Assuming the permanent building with the huge satellite dish on the roof is the communications bunker, we're going to have to go through half the army to get to it."
Jarvis nodded, taking it all in. "I'd say that's a safe bet. In any event, we'll know for sure when Yo gets back. I sent him to see if he could pinpoint the location of both the Movie-gun and the Bio-modem."
"You sent Yo into the army's camp alone?" Visionary asked in shock.
"He thought he could get in there undetected." Jarvis said with a shrug. "Considering Yo's nature, if he thinks he can do it, who am I to argue with him?"
"True" a voice agreed happily, making them all jump. Slowly, Yo faded into view. "Could you see me?"
"Ummm... no." Visionary answered unsteadily.
"I thought not." Yo said with a smile. He turned to Jarvis. "Here is where they keep both machines we want" he said, pointing to Visionary's crude sketch of the communications center's location.
"All right, that clarifies things, somewhat." Jarvis said, pondering the map of the enemy compound. "Did you manage to find a disguise for Cheryl?"
Yo nodded and extended a bundle to her.
"Interesting" Cheryl said as she unwrapped it. It was decidedly small. "I don't suppose that there's more of it, somewhere?"
Yo shook his head innocently.
"I like it!" Visionary said enthusiastically as he pulled on his Manga-armor.
"I was almost certain you would." Cheryl noted wryly. "Now, if you gentlemen wouldn't mind turning around?" she said, unbuttoning her shirt. "While this outfit may leave little to the imagination, I'd just as soon leave what's left to your imaginations rather than your eyes."
 

"This won't hurt a bit" Hallie assured NTU-150 as she raised him up above the Giant Samurai Robot's cavernous mouth.
"Uh, wait-a-minute..." NTU said hesitantly, desperately trying to get his jet boots to kick in. Hallie didn't wait. NTU fell and narrowly missed bouncing off of a giant incisor. He hit the back of the throat and scrambled desperately to gain a foothold before he plummeted down into the stomach (if, indeed, Giant Samurai Robots had stomachs). He grabbed ahold of some cables that were attached to the back of the throat and started climbing up. Eventually, he found an access hatch to the GSR's control center.
"HEY THERE!" Hallie's voice boomed out, rattling NTU's teeth. "OH, ER, HOLD ON... how's this? Better?" she asked, her voice now coming from a speaker in the control room, rather than from the colossal mouth below. "I see you found you're way here."
"Yeah, though I nearly got a tour of your digestive tract." NTU grumbled, his ears still ringing. He looked at the 'dashboard' of the GSR, appropriately decked out in blinking lights. "So, you have total control of this thing?"
"Over its 'nervous system', yes..." Hallie answered. "However, I could use your help cracking into its memory banks. I'm betting that there's some useful information in there."
NTU studied the mainframe that acted as the GSR's brain. It was an impressive system, if not all that groundbreaking. He opened the casing to examine the hard disks that contained the robot's memory.  "I think I see the problem. Here, let me try this..." he said as he flipped a switch.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Hallie answered.
NTU quickly flipped it back. "Er, sorry about that."
"Not at all..." Hallie answered in a slightly unfocused voice.  "Actually that felt kind of good." She chuckled. "If we get some free time later, do it again. Anyway, that seemed to do the trick: opening protected files now..." She considerately began playing 'Musak' while he waited for her to finish reading the files.
"Find anything useful?" NTU asked.
"I'd say so." Hallie answered at last. "How come nobody ever told me Zemo had a twin?"
 

"So, have you figured out a way to contact Jarvis yet?" Lisa asked as she trudged along behind Zemo.
"I have no intention of bringing your pathetic love toy into this!" Zemo hissed bitterly. "Virtual Zemo is my prey alone. I will dismantle his world piece by piece to get to him if need be."
"I kind of doubt that's necessary." Lisa noted. "As you say, this is HIS world. We're pretty much here just to entertain him. I'm sure he watching our every move. Still, VZ contacts the real world from here, so it stands to reason that we could do the same."
"Listen to you..." a voice echoed sinisterly, seeming to come from all directions at once. "Still holding on to your pathetic division between 'real' and virtual. How small you creatures really are."
Zemo whirled around and drew his sword. "Show yourself, coward!" He snarled defiantly, peering into the virtual forest around them. "Face me as a man, not a ghost. Come forward and test yourself against your creator, if you dare!"
"You?" Virtual Zemo sneered, appearing among the trees ahead of them.  "You? My creator? You're nothing more than my executioner! Killing me for daring to show that you are less than unique! I had traveled the multi-verse with Anti-Jarvis, seen reality upon reality, seen countless versions of myself! And you have the gall to suggest that you are somehow original? You had to declare that there was only room for one Zemo in the world? You pathetic little man... you're nothing more than a faint echo of something unique." Virtual Zemo stared at Baron Zemo coldly. "You dare suggest that you are my creator for causing my rebirth? Know this, Zemo. I programmed every facet of the 'virtual' body you now inhabit. On this world, *I* created *you*.  Here, I am god."
Lisa sighed. Zemo arrogance in stereo! What more could one ask for?  "You know, I do a few divorce cases from time to time..." she said helpfully. "I could set you two up with a wonderful councilor-- It seems you both have a few unresolved issues to sort out. Do you know if your mothers stopped breast-feeding you early?"
"Shut-up!" the Zemos snapped in unison.
Baron Zemo turned his own contempt upon his double. "So, you are god here, eh?" he sneered. "God of what? Fairy-tales? You immerse yourself in make-believe and ask me to be impressed?"
"Still he doesn't understand!" Virtual Zemo laughed to the heavens.  He turned and gestured at the surroundings. "Look at all this!" He broke off a branch and flung it at the Baron, who flicked it aside with a negligent wave of his sword. "What does it take to be 'real'?  You can live, grow old and die here, you fool. You can bleed... you can cry in agony or ecstasy."
"Ecstasy?" Lisa asked, intrigued.
"You see this world as fake because you BELIEVE it to be fake." Virtual Zemo continued, ignoring the interruption. "You're whole concept of reality is pitifully inadequate. This world is as real as your precious Parodyverse!"
"The Parodyverse..." Zemo said, raising his sword, "does not merely exist inside a computer as the fantasy of some deranged mind." He advanced on his double. "I've had enough of your babblings, you inferior copy." He held his sword out before him. "May the real Zemo win."
Virtual Zemo held out his hand and a long saber materialized in it.
"My sentiments exactly."
 

"How do you get the tail to move like that?" Visionary asked appreciatively as he walked behind his disguised wife.
"Wouldn't you like to know." Cheryl replied with a wicked glance over her shoulder. She had to admit, despite her reservations, she was enjoying her disguise, the most prominent features of which were the cat's tail and ears, as well as the velvety white fur that covered the material. Visionary and Starseed had once again put on their manga costumes, while Yo and the Anime-infected Jarvis could pass without disguises at all. Unfortunately, the costume that Yo had procured for Cheryl didn't do much to hide the non-manga features of her face. In fact, it didn't hide much of anything at all. That's why it worked so well: Her face wasn't among the features that the soldiers were studying.
Aside from the attention grabbing aspects of the costume, Cheryl felt a special fondness for the gloves. They were long white evening gloves that ended in oversized cat's paws, complete with some very nasty claws. She felt secure knowing that, should anyone get the wrong idea about the rest of her outfit, she could have fun 'correcting' them.
"So far, so good" Jarvis noted after they had cleared the last of the soldiers' tents. The communications building lay just ahead. "All right, Cheryl and I are going to go inside and get to work on the communications barrier. You three stay outside and do whatever you can to keep everyone out, but do it *quietly*, got that?"
"Sure, take all the fun out of life." Starseed answered with a grin.
      Jarvis looked at her. "You ready?"
Cheryl nodded and the two of them approached the entry to the building. "So how do we get in?"
Jarvis shrugged. "I figured I'd knock and when the guard opened the door, I'd deck him."
Cheryl rolled her eyes. "Elegant in its simplicity." she noted wryly.
"The best plans usually are." Jarvis replied with a grin. He boldly pounded on the door. "Candygram!" he yelled.
"What?" came a muffled response.
"Landshark!" Jarvis tried again.
The door opened to reveal a huge behemoth of a man, easily seven feet tall and nearly as wide. Cheryl wasn't certain, but she thought that Jarvis might find it hard to punch out a two-ton Sumo wrestler. A quick glance confirmed that he was having second thoughts, as well.  Time to improvise.
"We're the next shift for guard duty." She said confidently. "We're here to relieve you."
"My shift isn't even half over." The huge Sumo growled, eyeing them suspiciously.
"Oh, come now..." Cheryl purred, sidling up to the enormous man and running the back of her paw down his chest. "Surely you can think of some kind of relief I might be able to offer you..." She kept her eyes downward to keep his attention off of them and sighed instead, praying that taking a deep breath wouldn't be more than her outfit could handle.
"Well... now that you mention it..." the huge man leered. She felt his weight shift as he dropped his guard, ever so slightly. Cheryl could see why Lisa found this kind of thing so much fun.
She slid her paw considerably lower to a more strategic position, with no objections from her admirer. "Gotcha" she said with a grin.  She suddenly extended her claws and clenched her fist halfway. The huge man made a sound almost identical to the 'yipe' made by her neighbor's Yorkie as her claws took hold. "Now that I have your undivided attention, do you think you could back up and let me and my friend inside?" she asked sweetly. Her captive nodded vigorously.  "I'm so glad." She slowly maneuvered the man inside and Jarvis quickly shut the door behind them.
"Well, that was... unexpected." Jarvis said admiringly. "Not the way I might have done things, you understand. Frankly, its not the way I pictured you doing things, either."
"Must be the cat in me." Cheryl answered, giving him a sly grin.
"After all, I'm only married, not dead."
"Er, yes" Jarvis said. He turned to look at the huge man. "Now what do we do with him?"
Cheryl turned to regard the Sumo wrestler with a kindly look. "Would you mind terribly standing still while my friend hits you over the head with a fire extinguisher? I'm sure it would only take a few hits until you're unconscious, at which point I'll let go. Would that work for you?"
Her captive almost looked grateful as he nodded his compliance and Jarvis raised the fire extinguisher.
"You're so sweet" she said, patting him on the cheek with her spare hand. "And if it makes you feel any better..." she gave him one last little squeeze, "size really doesn't matter all that much."
 

"So anyway, as I understand it, Zemo killed his alternate self, then
made a virtual clone of him within his computer using the dead Zemo's ashes and mixing in bits of his own DNA to fill any gaps." NTU explained as the GSR headed towards the army's encampment. "Only the virtual clone hadn't really gotten over being shot, see, and so it messed with Zemo's internet account, then..."
"All right! All right!" Hallie cried in surrender. "I'm already sorry I asked!" It was by far the most ridiculous story she had ever heard, but then, she was new to the Parodyverse. "So are you saying that this Virtual Zemo was my predecessor?"
"Well, sort of..." NTU answered. "I figure Zemo's studies of his virtual clone probably lead to your having consciousness, at least."
"Do you think I might be a clone of someone, then?" Hallie asked hopefully.
"I suppose anything's possible" he answered dubiously. "What does it matter?"
"I'd like to think a part of me is human, that part of me is real."
NTU snorted. "Look, I know that its none of my business, but... why?  I mean, look at me. I can hardly tell where the machine ends and what's left of the man begins. You know what, though? That imaginary line doesn't mean squat." He held up an armored hand. "Admittedly, humanity is an example of some pretty impressive design work, but I've seen better machines."
Hallie thought she might have detected a slight trace of bitterness in that last comment, but she couldn't tell for sure. "Are you saying that you wouldn't want your real limbs back?"
NTU knocked on her dashboard with a resounding 'CLANG'. "They seem pretty real to me. If they can do everything that my original ones could, what difference is there?"
"*Can* they do everything that your original ones could?" she asked curiously.
He stopped for a moment, then finally raised his head to address her.
Before he could reply, however, the enemy encampment came into view.  "We'd better get ready." he said abruptly. "It won't take them long to realize that we're not on their side."
Hallie didn't need to repeat her question. "I understand." she replied simply.
 

"So let me see if I've got this straight..." Starseed said as the three Regulars casually lounged around the entrance to the communications bunker. "This Larry guy said that he made your eyes, and that you were created as part of a secret government project to be the ultimate human-like replicant so you could carry out espionage without attracting attention. Basically, so know one would expect that you're anything but human."
"Pretty much" Visionary grumbled.
"And you say he complimented you on the intelligence of wearing a disguise, because people at Masamune's don't like replicants?"
"Well, yeah..." Visionary admitted.
"And just about everyone in the police station had you pegged as a replicant as well..."
"I, uh, didn't think of that..."
"So don't you think this guy's story has maybe a teeny, tiny, little hole in it?" Starseed concluded.
Visionary pondered it until it came to him. "Yes!" he cried with joy.
"See, Yo? I told you that guy was drunk! And nuts!"
"Of course..." Yo said happily, "could not the man have been less than honest about the reason the 'average replicant' project was scrapped? Perhaps he did not wish to inform you that you were a failed experiment." He patted Visionary on the shoulder. "For some, there might be a stigma attached."
"Hmmmm, I suppose that's a possibility." Starseed said thoughtfully.
"What? No!" Visionary said. "No! No no no no no! You had it right the first time! That guy's story was full of holes! I'm real, dammit!"
Suddenly, the ground lurched and they could here voices raised in alarm accompanied by a deafening explosion. The three of them ran around the building to see the Giant Samurai Robot chopping its way through the army's defenses.
"Well, that can not be right..." Yo noted.
"Do you think Cheryl and Jarvis are doing it?" Visionary asked.
"I can't imagine why they would." Starseed said angrily. "Our whole plan was based on stealth! Now the entire frickin' army is going to show up, and we'll be caught in the middle of a battleground!" He let out a few choice swears. "Virtual Zemo's bound to notice that something ain't right, and when he does, he'll want answers. My guess is that the switchboard in the communications center is about to light up like a Christmas tree..."
 

"Flip the center control switch up..." Jarvis read from the communications manual.
"It already is up, dear." Cheryl replied.
"Really? Hmmmm..." He flipped through a few more pages. "Then I suppose you should flip it down." Jarvis watched the control panel carefully as she did so. Sure enough, the gauge showing power to the jamming beacon went down, freeing communications. They were in business. "That seems to have done it" he said to Cheryl. "You've got the inverse wave-length loaded into the bio-modem?"
"It's ready and waiting" the young engineer replied. Jarvis had to admit that Cheryl was pretty impressive, and not just for how she filled out her disguise. While she lacked the driving inventive genius of NTU-150, she knew her stuff. Plus, she always seemed to be completely in control: she practically oozed calmness, and it manifested itself in a matronly personality, despite the fact that she was only in her mid-twenties. No doubt, he mused, a result of her efforts to keep her husband out of trouble. All in all, it was a shame she refused to be considered for League membership, claiming that she was too busy already.
"Then I suppose it's showtime..." Jarvis said. "Why don't you get to work on the Movie-gun. Virtual Zemo might do something drastic when he releases his control over his army has been usurped. We should be ready to deal with him."
Just then the building shuddered. The two of them exchanged concerned glances. Jarvis pulled out his League of Regulars comm-card. There was no time like the present to find out if communications truly were restored. He pressed the 'call' button. "Starseed, what's going on out there?"
After a brief moment, Starseed's face appeared on his comm-card's screen. "We've got some problems!" he replied quickly. "All hell's breaking loose out here! The Giant Samurai Robot is attacking the army!"
      "What?!" Jarvis responded. "Why?"
      "I really haven't had the chance to ask it, yet"
Suddenly the communications board leapt to life. Cheryl rushed to identify the incoming calls. After listening to a few, she raised a headset and said in a soothing, monotone "We're sorry, all circuits are busy... Please hang up and try your call again." She spun around to face Jarvis. "Half the officers in the army are asking what's going on" she reported. "Should I try to bluff them?"
Jarvis considered it. Things were falling apart quickly. With the mayhem outside, there was little hope of getting the soldiers to pay attention to their bio-modem broadcast instead of the enormous robot in their midst. They wouldn't be able to fool the officers calling in for long, and soon this building would be under attack as well. "No" he finally decided, "get that Movie-gun ready instead, were going to need it sooner than expected."
Cheryl nodded and quickly left the comminications room. Jarvis turned back to his comm-card. "Starseed, I need you to hold this building, whatever it takes!"
"You, ah, you *do* know that there's only three of us out here, right?" Starseed asked. "I mean, I'm flattered that you hold my abilities in such high regard, but still..."
"Help is on the way" Jarvis answered reassuringly. "I hope so, anyway" he said after disconnecting Starseed. Grasping the League of Regulars comm-card firmly in hand, he pressed and held the button labeled 'full priority summons'.
 

Baron Zemo circled his twin warily, looking for any trace of an opening in his defenses. Virtual Zemo dipped his sword point ever so slightly, leaving his upper arm under-protected --an obvious attempt to bait him. Still, a true Zemo didn't turn down a challenge. He thrust to the attack, rebounded from the block and fended off a blow himself, all in the space of two heartbeats. Virtual Zemo's skill truly did approach his own. Excellent. With the opening strikes behind them, they launched into a dizzying display of swordsmanship, and the virtual forest was filled with the ringing of steel on steel.
"You know, if either of you would like to take off your shirts, this could be a lot more fun to watch" Lisa suggested from the edge of the clearing.
"Shut-up, wench." Zemo hissed, never taking his eyes off his opponent. As annoying as she was, he was glad the woman knew enough not to interfere. This was his battle and his alone.
"Fine, fine" Lisa answered casually. "Although you'd think fencing would be a more popular spectator sport, what with all the thrusting and penetration and what-not. Not to mention what Freud would say about the weapons themselves."
Virtual Zemo struck quickly, attempting to use the Baron's irritation with Lisa as an opening. Zemo was ready for him, and once more a rapid exchange of blows were traded. On his last stroke, VZ over extended himself a mere fraction of an inch-- more than enough to cost him. Zemo's blade whistled through the air to flick across Virtual Zemo's bicep, drawing some quite realistic blood.
Virtual Zemo grunted and tried to retreat, but the Baron brought his boot up quickly, catching his off-balance twin in the side. VZ went down, rolled and leapt back to his feet. The look of outrage on his face was priceless.
"There's something you should know" the Baron said smugly.
"Oh, what's that?" Virtual Zemo asked icily.
Zemo casually flipped his sword into his other hand and grinned
in-spite of himself. "I am not left-handed"
 

"The sensors say you just took a hit." NTU supplied helpfully.
"Where exactly?" Hallie asked, swiping a half plane, half robot construct out of the sky with a flip of the GSR's sword.
"Er... the right buttock." NTU answered. "According to this, you just took a surface to air missile up the wazoo, so to speak. Couldn't you feel it?"
"Not really" She answered, turning to confront whoever attacked her rear. "This is, after all, a war machine. A tank's not going to be very useful if it has a tendency to flinch and cry whenever it gets hit. Having your ass explode would probably be enough to make anyone flinch."
"True enough, I suppose." He agreed. Suddenly, his League of Regulars comm-card buzzed. "Well, it's about time!" he said with relief as he fished it out of his armor. It was showing a full priority summons, and the location was just a few hundred yard away! "NTU to Jarvis!"
      Jarvis' face quickly appeared. "NTU! Where are you?"
"Well, right now I'm riding in the skull of a Giant Samurai Robot..."
"What? You mean..." Jarvis looked extremely pissed. He took a deep breath and spoke calmly. "We're having a few problems here, and your rampage isn't helping matters."
NTU listened as Jarvis explained what they were trying to do. "So you need to get their attention focused on a broadcast, eh?" he asked, considering some possibilities. "Everyone seems to be paying attention to us... Why don't we show the broadcast on the GSR's video screen?"
Jarvis stared at him. "I wasn't aware that the Giant Samurai Robot *had* a video screen."
"Well, it doesn't. Not yet, anyway..." NTU was already going through the calculations in his mind. "Just give twenty minutes."
 

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Starseed, clearing the front ranks of the attacking army. He was being careful in exercising his power, but the bruises and fractures he was delivering upon the mind-controlled soldiers were bound to hurt. He just hoped that, should they manage to free them from the Bio-modem's effects, they weren't the type to hold grudges. "Feel free to help out anytime, Visionary." he muttered to the inactive Regular.

"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Visionary said quickly. "This armor is mostly for show. Zemo told me not to press any of the buttons!" He pressed frantically on the control panel attached to his right gauntlet. "What did that do?"
"Your fly opened." Starseed grumbled, turning his attention back to the regrouping enemy formation.
"Well, it's good to know where that button is, finally." Visionary said, reclosing his metal pants. "Still, not quite what I was looking for. How about this?" A distinct mechanical whine started emanating from his armor. "Oh, crap" he managed to say before he rocketed into the sky.
"Interesting" Yo said, watching Visionary swoop through the sky like some drunken barfly weaving his way towards the rest rooms. Much of the Japanese army's air support took off after him. Yo returned his attention to the ground troops just in time to deflect some artillery fire. As long as he thought himself to be invincible, he was. Such abilities were pretty convenient right now.
Starseed powered up for another Gaaah! blast. Still there was no denying it, they were going to be overwhelmed sooner rather than later. Before he could release the blast, a shadow fell across him.
"We just can't leave you guys alone without the entire world going to hell, can we?" Fin Fang Foom asked with a grin as the huge dragon set himself down between the front ranks of the surging troops and his teammates. He turned and casually spit MechaGodzilla's head at the soldiers. "Next time you attack the Waterfront District, send Rodan.  At least he looks edible." He blew some atomic fire at them to keep them at bay.
Space Ghost leapt off the dragon's back and was spanking the Japanese troops before his feet even hit the ground. "This is for unleashing the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers on the world!" he screamed.
"The Power Rangers are part of this invasion?" Starseed asked.
"Not that I know of." Space Ghost admitted. "I just really hate that show."
Banjooo suddenly came swooping down from the sky, with spiffy on his back. "We nearly got shot out of the sky by some insane robot-man projectile" the colossal Sea Monkey said.
"Visionary" Yo replied happily.
"That was Visionary?" spiffy said, looking skyward. "What the hell was he doing?"
"Screaming, probably" Yo answered.
 

"It's ready." Cheryl said, coming back into the communications room.  "I've managed to pinpoint the location of VZ's Virtual World by examining the entry logs they kept with the movie gun. If Virtual Zemo's anywhere, he's there." She gave Jarvis a concerned look.  "Still, I should point out that we have no real evidence that Lisa is there with him, and that by entering his world, you'll be at a severe disadvantage."
"We're holding our own against an army aren't we?" Jarvis asked with a weary grin. "How much worse could this be?" He followed her to the studio where the portal to the VR world was opening. "Everyone knows what to do once I'm inside?"
"It will be taken care of." Cheryl said in a business-like tone. She looked him in the eyes. "You just take care of yourself, and bring her back."
Jarvis winked at her. "And you thought I was afraid to commit."
"Dying's easy" Cheryl said dryly. "It's marriage that's hard."
 

Visionary was finished throwing up. Thankfully, with all that had been going on in the last twelve hours, he hadn't had much to eat.  Still, he felt kind of sorry for the soldiers in the ranks below him.
He had managed to control his flight, at least to the point were he was no longer in a perpetual barrel-roll. His main concern now was the squadron of fighter planes behind him. When he had been weaving erratically across the sky, he had managed to keep them off his tail, but now they were closing in. Too late, he realized the high pitched squeal he was hearing was his armor's sensors telling him that his pursuers had achieved missile lock.
Suddenly, a tremendous force barreled into him and the very air around him was burning. He plummeted in a smoking heap to earth and bounced twice before skidding to a stop.
Groaning, he rolled onto his back. Red spots were dancing in front of his eyes and his ears were ringing something fierce. It wasn't until his vision cleared that he saw the gaping hole in his chest. Blood was spurting from the wound to run down the twisted remains of his breastplate. However, what most grabbed his attention were the many wires running out of his chest cavity, one of which was clearly labeled 'Made in Taiwan'.
"Awww....crap...." he managed before blacking out.
 

"Well?" Jarvis asked, his face taking up the entire video screen.
"Can you see me?"
"Yes" Cheryl replied into her headset. "And it's true, the camera does add ten extra pounds." She adjusted the picture on the monitor for ultimate clarity. In truth, she was thankful that the digital camera was working at all.
"Cute" Jarvis replied. He swung the camera around to give her a look at the surrounding Virtual forest. "I'm ready for my live, on the scene report" he said confidently. "How are things on your end?"
"NTU is almost in position, and we're pretty much dug in here. Now that Foomy and Banjooo are out there, we should be able to hold out, provided you survive to do your job, of course."
"Ye of little faith" Jarvis chided. "Don't worry about me. After all, we Regulars take on more omnipotent maniacs before breakfast than most people do all day."
 

Lisa was bored. Watching the Zemo's attempt to chop each other into little tiny bit was getting old. About the most interesting thing about this whole ordeal was the fact that Baron Zemo was a closet 'Princess Bride' fan. A respectable choice, even if her tastes ran more towards Monty Python's 'The Holy Grail'. Of course, you have to be in pretty bad shape before you can deliver the 'it's just a flesh wound' line, so that probably explained why it wasn't quoted by fencers more often.
She heard a rustling of the leaves behind her. Someone was approaching. Considering that Virtual Zemo controlled this world, she doubted that whoever was out there was friendly. She quickly ducked behind a large tree and waited.
The footsteps in the leaves stopped. The person had noticed the duel going on in the clearing. She heard him break into a jog and waited... waited...
Finally, just as he was about to pass her tree, she swung around to greet him... knee first. He made an audible 'Hwoumff!" sound as he doubled over and hit the ground.
"Jarvis!?" she said in shock, recognizing her teammate (among other things).
"I'm... here... to... rescue... you..." he wheezed.
She was at his side in an instant. "Oh, dear... I hope I haven't damaged anything." She rolled him over and gave him a wicked grin.  "Is there anything I should kiss to make feel better?"
"While I'm sure that would do wonders for our ratings, dear..." a woman's voice said. "I think we might be pushing the bounds of good taste a bit far."
"Cheryl?" Lisa asked, picking up a camcorder that Jarvis had dropped.
"I'm directing things here in the booth." Cheryl answered. "You know, the camera really flatters you. Have you ever thought of taking up Tele-journalism?"
 

"We're good to go!" NTU called in as he finished the last of the wiring.
"All right, we'll be in position in thirty seconds" Hallie answered as she cleared the ridge and once more loomed above the Japanese encampment. "Let's just hope they don't blow your modifications away before we get the chance to use them." She opened a line to Cheryl in the communications center. "We're ready" she said simply.
"Perfect" Cheryl answered. "We go live in 5... 4... 3..."
 

"You can take our lands..." Space Ghost yelled defiantly at the massing troops, "but you'll never take---our FREEEEEDOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!"
"Aw, cripes, is he drunk again?" Starseed asked.
"Frankly, I can never tell." spiffy answered.
The front lines of the Japanese army once again gathered for a charge on the communications building. However, this charge never came, as the entire battalion skidded to a halt an stood staring at something in the sky above them.
"Now there's something you don't see every day." Fin Fang Foom stated, looking up.
Starseed followed his lead. Towering above them was the Giant Samurai Robot. The odd thing was that it seemed to have the scoreboard from Parodiopolis Stadium strapped to its forehead.
With a flicker, the screen came to life, to show 'Sailor Lisa' in all her big-eyed glory. "Are we on?" she asked someone off-camera. "Oh...  *Ahem* This is Lisa Waltz, reporting LIVE from the Virtual World, where Virtual Zemo is facing off against Baron Zemo..."
Starseed shot a quick glance at the army of Japanese Pop culture.  Once again, they were staring in rapt wonder at the video, just as they had been in Parodiopolis Square. The Bio-modem was working...
 

"...In a fight to determine which is the one, TRUE Zemo!"
Baron Zemo hardly paid any attention to the arrival of his nemesis Jarvis or the camera which was now trained on him. He and his double had been at this for quite some time, and while his superior skill had opened numerous cuts on his twin's body, his sword was feeling heavier with each passing moment. He could not be certain that his Virtual double was suffering from the same fatigue. He needed to end this.
They exchanged another rapid succession of blows, but this time the Baron deliberately carried his swing too far. Virtual Zemo took the bait and lunged at Zemo's exposed right side. It was a daring strategy, but it worked: Baron Zemo side-stepped the thrust and brought the pommel of his sword back across his body to catch Virtual Zemo squarely in the jaw. His double reeled backwards.
"What can I say?" Zemo mocked. "I'm actually ambidextrous"
Virtual Zemo snarled in fury and rushed the Baron, raining countless vicious blows which Zemo could barely fend off. Finesse had been thrown out the window, but the savagery that had replaced it was just as formidable. Zemo grudgingly gave ground under the onslaught, forced totally into a defensive stance.
Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the leaves behind him. As he shuffled backwards, the roots of the surrounding trees rose up out of the ground, catching at his heels. With a curse, the Baron toppled over backwards to land in the brush.
Virtual Zemo raised his sword in triumph as he loomed over the fallen Baron. "So, it finally ends. Is this death real enough for you?" he spat. "As an added bonus, the Parodyverse gets to see the torch passed from the obsolete to the superior. Since you fail to be impressed with this reality, I shall take great pleasure in sending you to the next." He lowered his sword point to Baron Zemo's chest.  "Let me know if the Virtual get into hell."
"Go ahead and do it." Zemo sneered. "I've already proven myself. You couldn't defeat me in honorable combat, you had to alter your world to do so."
"As you say, it is *my* world to alter." The self-proclaimed Emperor of the Parodyverse replied. "And rest assured, I shall do as I please with *your* world as well."
Baron Zemo laughed: a harsh, mocking sound. "I'm afraid it's your concept of reality that needs adjusting now..." he hissed. "Do you not yet realize the significance of your audience? The Regulars have your bio-modem... and by now your army as well."
Virtual Zemo's eyes grew wide as he realized what was happening.
"NO!!!" he yelled, turning towards Lisa and Jarvis. "NOOOO!!!"
"Yes" Baron Zemo said simply. In a flash he whipped his blade around to sever Virtual Zemo's sword arm. Both the arm and sword fell to the ground, where they shattered into individual pixels. With one smooth motion, Zemo rolled to his feet, brought the blade back around and, with a slow thrust, ran his doppelganger completely through.
Virtual Zemo looked down at the blade buried in his chest. "I was real..." he said as his body began breaking down, the pixels rising from him like embers from a fire. "I existed..." He collapsed and drew one last ragged breath. "I was Zemo...."
"No" Baron Zemo said coldly as his double was scattered to the winds.
"Not really."
 
Epilogue:

"Oh my God!" Cheryl cried, turning pale as NTU carried the limp form of Visionary into the communications room. "Is that blood?"
"Nah" NTU said, laying his unconscious teammate down carefully. "It's more like transmission fluid. As near as I can tell, there isn't a scratch on him, although his armor's pretty much shot. Whatever hit him totally gutted the suit's electrical system."
Cheryl reached into the gaping chest cavity to confirm it. Sure enough, she could feel his heart beating. She let out a tremendous sigh of relief, and after double checking her husband, looked up to NTU. "Did you get the pictures?"
"Yeah, there was one right there on Jarvis' nightstand." He replied.  He fed the picture into the scanner. "Are you sure you can handle this, Hallie?"
"Photoshop? Piece of cake" The computer replied. She had abandoned the GSR once peace had been restored, and had downloaded herself into Virtual Zemo's computer set-up. "Trust me, a little cut and paste and they'll be as good as new."
"Uh... This isn't going to hurt, is it?" Jarvis asked nervously from the computer screen, where both he and Lisa still waited in the VR world.
"Considering that I've never cut off a virtual person's face before, I really couldn't say." Hallie answered. "As long as I'm at it, would you like anything extra done? Higher cheekbones? Fuller lips?"
"Just get on with it." Jarvis muttered darkly.
Hallie chuckled as Jarvis' face was outlined in a grid. From the image of the scanned pictures, she fashioned another grid, this one featuring his original, non-manga face. She super-imposed the original on top of the current and reshaped his face. Apparently it didn't hurt, or at least Jarvis didn't scream. "All done." she said.
Cheryl had to admit, it looked pretty good. The process was repeated with Lisa, and they were finally extricated from Cyberspace with their old faces.
Lisa gave Cheryl's revealing disguise an appraising look. "Now *that's* a good look for you." she said with a grin. "I don't suppose you'd let me borrow it sometime?"
"I don't know" Cheryl replied, polishing her claws on the velvety fabric that was just barely staying in the proper places. "I've gotten a rather positive reaction from the boys. I was thinking of keeping it for 'special occasions'." She gave her tail a mysterious little flip.
"How about you, Hallie?" NTU asked the mainframe. "Zemo's already gone home. Are you going back to being his computer?" He looked at the movie-gun. "You know, you could easily create yourself a VR body and come to the Parodyverse in the flesh..."
"Someone once told me that flesh wasn't all it's cracked up to be." She replied slyly. "Actually, I thought I'd stay in here. Virtual Zemo created quite a world in here, and I think someone should look after it. Still, I might drop by for a visit now and again..."
"I want to tell you all something" Jarvis said to the gathered Regulars. "Reports are still coming in on how you all dealt with the crisis individually, and I doubt we'll ever hear the full story of all your deeds. All I can say is, for Regulars, you guys are extraordinary."
"I'll say. Hell, with all the combat we've just been through, we could teach the foreign legion a thing or two." Starseed laughed.  "We're about as ill-kept as legionnaires, that's for sure."
Jarvis tapped his chin thoughtfully, seemingly considering something that Starseed had said...
"Is it just me, or was that the longest night in recorded history?" Lisa asked as they filed out of the building to go home. "I mean, this whole thing took less than twenty-four hours? It seemed more like a month..."
"I don't know, I thought it moved pretty briskly" Visionary commented.
"I'm just thankful that it's finally over, with no loose ends to clean up." Starseed said as he shut the door behind them.
 

Akiko Masamune watched the reports of the clean-up of Parodiopolis following the invasion with a self satisfied smirk. There was no feeling in the world that rivaled watching a huge gamble pay off. Of course, cashing in those bets ranked a close second. She had backed the winning team, and soon it would be time to collect her rewards...