“You can’t do that with a pawn!”
   The shout startled NTU, who was working on his newest little project.  This time, it was a toaster that, when not toasting, could weed a garden.  He jumped, bumping his invention.  Holding his breath for a second, he realised that it hadn’t exploded yet.  He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to the source of the disturbance.
   “Actually, Visionary, yes you can,” Fleabot explained calmly, “They can go diagonally to attack.  We’ve been over this already.”
   “But… no… pawns go forward… so what do the horses do?”
   Fleabot sighed, shaking his head.  NTU then noticed something.
   “Fleabot, since when are you… big?” he asked.
   “Hm?  Oh, hello, NTU, I hadn’t seen you there,” the robot replied, “I’ve always had the ability to change my size.  Didn’t you know that?”
   “Uh… not exactly…”
   “It makes it far easier to play chess.  Now, Visionary, do you get it yet?”
   “Um… what’s this really tall one with the crown again?”
   NTU quietly laughed at Visionary’s plight before the toaster exploded.

   “It’s not true!”
   “I know what I’m talking about.  Give up!”
   Jarvis and Lisa were engaged in a heated discussion as Yo and Donar looked on in bemusement.  The subject was the difference between fruit and vegetables.
   “Fruits and vegetables are completely different!” Jarvis insisted.
   “They aren’t!  It’s just a difference set by people.  What’s a tomato?”
   “A vegetable,” the butler replied with certainty.
   “Why?”
   “Because… ah… it just is!”
   “But it grows off a plant, it has seeds… it’s practically the same thing as an apple.  What’s an apple?”
   “A fruit…” he replied with slightly less certainty.
   “So what’s the difference between fruits and vegetables?”
   “Uh… vegetables grow underground… like potatoes.”
   “What about tomatoes?  Zucchinis?”
   “Uh… Lair Legion assemble!  Meeting!”

   “I think Lisa’s right.”
   “Me too.”
   “Makes sense.”
   “Guys!” Jarvis cried in anguish, “Vegetables?  Fruits?  Different!”
   “Why?” they replied in unison.
   “God… hey!  Where’re Banjooooo and spiffy?  When I call a meeting, I expect everyone to be here!”
   “Unclench, Jarvis,” Lisa said, “They told us they were going off to spiffy’s mansion.”
   “Oh.  What for?”
   “I don’t know.  They didn’t say.”
   “Well, I want to know!  To spiffy’s mansion!” he said, while thinking, “Good, they won’t be paying attention to the fruit and vegetable thing anymore.”
   “I still think Lisa’s right,” Starseed noted as they all left.

   “spiffy!  Let us in!” Jarvis demanded at the mansion’s front door.   The door opened to reveal a robot.
   “Yes, sirs?” Rob greeted them, “Do you have an appointment?”
   “Appointment?  I’m the leader of the bloody Lair Legion!  Let us in!”
   “I’ll have to clear this with master spiffy.  You may come into the lobby to wait.  Feel free to enjoy the donuts.”
   “Oooh, donuts!” Visionary and Yo cried in unison, delighted.
   “Dear,” Cheryl reprimanded him, “Remember what we said about cutting back?”
   “But… free donuts… fine.”
   “Where’d he get a butler robot?” NTU muttered.
   Minutes later, spiffy and Banjooooo appeared in a nearby doorway.
   “Oh, hey guys!” spiffy welcomed them, “What’s up?”
   “We want to know what you’re up to!” Jarvis said with authority, “Right, Legion?”  He got no response.  “Legion?”  He turned around to find the assembled Lair Legion watching the fish swim around in an enormous tank.  “For the… well, I want to know what you two are doing.”
   The two youngest members of the Lair Legion glanced at each other.
   “Uh… well, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little bit longer…” Banjooooo began.
   “… but I guess, as long as you’re here…” spiffy continued.
   “Well, just come downstairs.  Yes, you can bring the donuts,” Banjooooo finished.  The pair led the other heroes down a flight of stairs, which stopped in a rather large room.  The walls were covered with white sheets.  “You want to do the honours, spiffy?”
   “Sure, I guess.”  spiffy walked over to a think rope hanging from…somewhere, and pulled on it.  The sheets were drawn up, revealing walls covered with computers and equipment.  There was a sign above the doorway.
   “Banjooooo and spiffy’s Detective Agen?” NTU read, “What the…”
   “Told you we wanted to wait a bit longer…” Banjooooo muttered.
   “We’re opening a detective agency!” spiffy said cheerfully, “Anybody have a case for us?”